Bluetooth meat device

how do i use it

oink! (police officer costume)

guys can we "hall of Fame" this one? I think I've hit it big

man: Mr. Acula your dog is looking quite pale. Wampire: that's DOCTOR Acula to you! those who are privy: 💀

just found this in the toilet

finally

Jeff bezos will meet my blade for this

praise be to quibi

your shoe's untied

drank nothing but water for 48 hours and my piss is STILL blue man wth

people only use their left hands to walk in minecraft and jerk it. feel like there's more we could do. any ideas?

i'll probably catch some flak for this, but utility bills have gotten so out of control that i've started turning off the burners on my stovetop before i leave the house. it saves a lot of money! i don't need them to be on when i'm not there! i don't know what else to tell you

homeless man named Porkchop made me buy his cigarettes and it cost me $10 and then he told me white pussy is better and then I went home and cried

aldi's toilet direct line to fire hydrant

Why can I not sign into my Quibi

just tried again and it's STILL out in my region. did they give the server room the "comically large magnet" treatment? @quibi.bsky.social please fix!

fuck my Geocel life

anyone else having trouble signing into their quibi rn?

2022

which one do i rub on my bod

I have some feeling about industrial society and it's future

@iconiccas.bsky.social why haven't you liked my previous post? are we in good standing?

infant no cash flow was in peeny wenus and the ferbocious one travel to universes unknown

pay per view efvent 30 pitbulls vs a helicopter $900 full access tv-ma

i have a female fetish,,, i fe male i eat it :)

yo why my über barking at me

another week over :) life is grand

Some of my favorites from the stream

thank my lucky stars the week has come to an end! alcoholic arc starts tonight!

training is like watching paint dry except sometimes the paint does it wrong

call a plumber type shit

tariffs hitting us hard. santa might skip christmas this year...

breakfast

someone just called in a drone strike through the PA at work. think it hit the restroom wish me luck 🧧🧧🧧

if this post hits 3 likes I'll show Him to you

shower zombified hamburglar

just watched a kid run down each isle in the QT and yell "CLEAR". at the end he called in for the bomb squad, so I think I dodged a bullet there.

I'm on see fudge diet. see fudge and then I eat it (fudge fiend 👹)

generational piss

just woke from a dream that was a fake Vinny stream. he was playing bootleg Pikachu game, flubbed an important shot and said "whoops I mains-fired"

Return to Epic

i had a dream last night that I was recording a podcast with Mac DeMarco in my shed. he took it seriously but i was just trying to trick him into saying "skibidi toilet" the whole time.

the swamp ass is crazy today. it's not hot or anything today but I did see a woman

@niccnucc.bsky.social causing a fucking scene in the mellow mushroom

drake found dead in burger king bathroom