Body sculpted by carbs, butter and yard work

It’s time for a treat 😇

A little sneak peek of my latest shoot 💙

✈️Upcoming Winter and Spring Travel Schedule ❄️Minneapolis January 27-29 🌉San Francisco Mar 4-6 🧄San Jose Mar 10-11 ☀️Phoenix Mar 17-18 🎸Memphis April 1-2 📚Boston Apr 23-24 🚕New York Apr 28-29 🥊Philly April 30-May 1 💌: [email protected]

More cats have died of avian flu because of raw feeding. It has always been a bad idea but especially now. Don't give your cats raw meat or raw milk! 1/2 www.centraloregondaily.com/news/pets-an...

Good evening 🩵

One of my favorite things about this job is the insane repertoire of stories and facts I gain from chatting with clients. I don’t get to repeat some of the stories ever, but I rarely go a day without something in my regular day life reminding me some funny/crazy story a client has told me

The world is burning but I can look cute while it burns 🔥 Reminder to Chicago: ICE raids start today. Please be on the lookout and warn others. 🫶🏻

Petition to bring back “yonder” as a word for direction and proximal distance. Sometimes, something really just is way over yonder ya know

Not enough people appreciate my duo page reference tbh

I still think one of the funniest things to ever happen during an appointment is when my visually impaired client was leaving & got a deaf Uber driver

As we witness these heartbreaking scenes from the fires in LA, an important reminder that incarcerated people make up over 30% of California’s forest firefighters.

I accidentally hit a guy in the face with a 10 feet of EMT conduit 😭 I miscalculated my turn and WHAM

When he gives you his Home Depot credit card 👷🏻‍♀️🧡

I was at a wake today and there was a Korean family also having a wake in a different part of the building, and they thought I was part of their group 🤣

Lazy Thursday 🩶

Let’s stay in and watch videos of that lesbian lady sheering overgrow sheep 🥺🩵

Shoutout to when I misheard my client saying he’s Presbyterian and I thought he was pescatarian so I kept choosing seafood restaurants

Thank you, Santa.

An episode where one of them accidentally ends up on a date with the State St. Preacher

I have so much content for OF I need to upload this week 🥲

Ask me some questions! ✨

Went to a divorce party and the dress code was funeral attire. Not pictured: my full length fur coat and the sunglasses I showed up wearing 🪦🖤

PEOPLE ARE SPOTTING RIVER OTTERS IN CHICAGO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Santa, my kittens and I have been good this year 🥰 marigoldgift.com/Kurumi

Did you know that the closest living relatives to the rock hyrax are elephants and manatees?

Introduce yourself as a TV character 👋🏻

Not to joke about the situation, but the Korean government really does know how to put on a very dramatic show

this website was made good by perverts and sex workers and if you don't want to see a wide and beautiful variety of posts from those accounts you need to adjust your own moderation settings, curate your timeline better, and possibly join threads instead if that doesn't work

Rumi finance logic: $16 bee houses: too expensive 🙅🏻‍♀️ Spending $114 at the lumber store to make bee houses: good deal 🙆🏻‍♀️

Cancel or reschedule if you’re not feeling well. Please don’t pass your sniffles (or worse!) onto your provider.

Bring me your washed plastic milk jugs so I can winter sow my #nativeplants

“In a span of just two weeks, a dozen Black men at Red Onion prison in Virginia took the same desperate measures, setting themselves ablaze. These are not acts of protest. These are human beings driven to extreme lengths, hoping for relief from torment.” www.prisonradio.org/news-update/...

The 2 types of men when I tell them my preferred firearm is a 1911: 1) cool 👍🏻 2) have you considered something more compact for your tiny lady hands?? Something more dainty?? Isn’t it too heavy for you?? Let me explain all the options—

Bonding with your client (who has a farm) about how gross raw milk is 🫶🏻 love my clients

Always down for a Sunday brunch date 🍽️🥂🍳

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What is a renaissance faire and why do most people who attend it look like they don’t shower every day

Someone take me to a Tyler Childers show in 2025? 🥹 You’ll be my fave person

go.bsky.app/QVkoep For in person providers of Asian & Pacific Islander backgrounds ✨ Msg or comment to join!

The best feeling is forgetting to upgrade your ads from free mode and still having a full schedule

Tiki Bar date! 🌺 www.kurumi-gray.com Available in Chicago & FMTY

Always down for a Sunday brunch date 🍽️🥂🍳

Good morning ☀️

It’s a bit too positive here and I’m seeking someone to beef with

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3 🎤