The Millwall Peace Prize

When I see the term "TikTokers" I still read it as if Tik is some weird new synthetic drug like something out of William Gibson and TikTokers are the people who smoke it.

For years - decades - I thought the bit where Brenda Lee sings "he'll say are you married, I'll say no man, but you can do the job while you're in town" meant that she was gonna fuck the snowman.

Sometimes my mind just generates the titles for unpleasant things on its own and then I have to think about what that would be. I don't know exactly what 'Libtard Dracula' would be for instance, and I don't really want to think about any of this.

My Xmas music playlist goes harder than yours. youtube.com/playlist?lis...

"Quiet Piggy!" would make a fantastic name for an all-women punk band though.

One of the senior black belt instructors at my Karate class really looks like Mitch McConnell, so it sort of feels like I'm learning Karate from Mitch McConnell in Bible Belt Georgia, which is disconcerting.

"Ross Douthat" sounds like the name of something they would put on your head at Hogwarts to determine which type of ball-achingly contrarian think-pieces you're going to write.

Vaguely Halloween themed Old Fashioned. Blood orange peel muddled with brown sugar and angostura. 1/4 oz maple syrup, 1/4 oz maraschino liqueur, 3 oz Makers Mark bourbon. I could call it an "Old Fashioned Scare" or something, if I were a twat, but I'm just going to drink it.

My daughter thinks my Halloween costume is just lazy, but I think there's something slightly perturbing about my minimalist "Devil in Ben Sherman sportswear with Geordie accent" effort at American Halloween.

People are always like "modern Satanists don't actually worship the Devil" - but then instead of worshipping the Devil they are almost always somewhere between Ayn Rand and outright being a Neo-Nazi, and frankly I prefer the Devil trafficking variety. Goatskin pact or go home.

John Wick 5 should just be the story of the Baba Yaga, with no gunplay or martial arts, but with Keanu Reeves playing a gender fluid Baba Yaga living in the chicken legged house, flying around medieval Russia in a magical pestle and mortar, with no explanation or any connection to the other films.

Where I grew up we called the primordial sea queen whose fishtail scales glimmer under the pallid moonlight and whose cold embrace drags sailors and dreamers under the abyssal waters "auntie".

My Halloween playlist goes harder than yours. www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

I force down my daily ration of the Amazon Basics mealworm protein bar and try not to hear the screams of my neighbors in community internment block 13 as the AI droids make way for a new data center. "This is straight out of the authoritarian playbook" I type out one last time and press send.

Rick Flag Jr and Rick Flag Sr but they just go out painting roundabouts.

I once took my daughter to a Halloween pumpkin patch when she was little, but I had forgot that the pumpkin patch was outside an evangelical church and had more of a harvest festival vibe with no Halloween decor at all, and I was the only adult wearing a costume, which was a costume of the Devil.

I'm grateful that when I was a teenager "masculinity" seemed like it was more about taking gargantuan amounts of Es and dancing to beeping sounds in a random location for 24 hours at a time, rather than watching Ben Shapiro videos and getting really angry about women being in Star Wars.

I like that when I was trying to type the words "Joe Rogan" in a message just now, my predictive text wanted to change it to "Joe Meek" instead.

There's a bit in Karate where you have to do the Kiai thing and make a vocal exclamation as you punch but it doesn't have to be the phonetic word "Kiai" and could be any 1-2 syllable vocal exclamation. I can't decide between the Doctor Doom "Bah!" or just the 1970s "Hiiiii-ya!" sound.

When I see people talking about "Celtic Witchcraft" I like to ask what they know about "Rangers Witchcraft"

I hope the ancient stone shell covered in baroque alien carvings that had been encasing our reality - which I somehow broke in a dream last night & then could still see the weird green energy released when it shattered in my room after I woke up - wasn't doing anything important. It's probably fine.

Name an Italian *criminal* more worthy of an American holiday than Columbus

"The Five" on Fox News seem like a (thankfully) unpowered version of an edgy satirical-but-not-really superhero team written by Mark Millar or Warren Ellis in the early 00s. Watters as the asshole Superman analogue, Gutfeld as the asshole Batman analogue, etc. I can't unsee it.

I like how Newcastle is not even slightly anywhere near being included in this grid, which is probably an unintentionally accurate portrayal of how the rest of the country thinks of Newcastle. Everything inside the grid is just "southern evil" from our perspective as well though.

When Bad Bunny sings the verb "llenar" - meaning "to fill" - he sounds like a Geordie saying "yer narr" and I can't unhear it.

1. Everyone should have healthcare you fucking dicks. 2. You don't have to know what the words mean to like a song you fucking dicks.

My Miami-based co-workers just straight-up don't believe me that there are people in this country posting on social media who don't know who Bad Bunny is. "In this country? Really? You've spoken to people in the U.S. who don't know who he is?"

This record is pretty great. Lyrics are full of references to the various things. music.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

same fucking picture

We have always been at war with Tylenol

Your obligatory trending subject obscure 80s Lovers Rock dub-side 45 youtu.be/T3az6ZBhJdg?...

It's great that Disney caved to public pressure and that Jimmy Kimmel still has a show. The only downside to that outcome is that Jimmy Kimmel still has a show.

Got my white Karate uniform 🥋 and starting white belt last night, which is not nearly as cool as the black Silat uniform was, but still. Currently learning "Itosu Stepping", which sounds like it should be a reggae sub-genre. youtu.be/7Xd6akUOItU?...

FB Memories reminding me of that time I evacuated from Hurricane Irma, 8 years ago today. That was a strange and convoluted journey.

This documentary on Hung Gar Kung Fu is great. The Karate class I went to last night also teaches Hung Gar once you get to the brown belt level, but we actually did some crane fist in that class. youtu.be/KeduFKDGXBk?...

Just did my first martial arts class since 2012.

Great little documentary on 80s UK soundsystem that I happened upon. youtu.be/c_YU6pmUVN4?...

I refuse to believe that somebody isn't using the Photoshop "twirl" tool on every photo of Graham Linehan's face. Wilhelm Reich would have a lot to say about the state of that man's fucking face.

Have become a bit obsessed with this 1950s Argentinian melodramatic Spanish language doo-wop group that the algorithm randomly introduced me to this afternoon. youtu.be/yIXjDg-pQcA?...

The way gun people are here reminds me of "stereo blokes" in the 90s in the UK, who would spend a fortune on stereo equipment, but often weren't really that into music - would play shite on it - and it was more some weird construction of their sense of self worth through expensive stereo equipment.