if i smelled like a banana Laffy Taffy i’d be liable to feast on my very flesh

Staff at the nation’s largest Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention facility have placed bets on which detainee will be the next to die by suicide, according to new reporting from the Associated Press based on 911 calls and detainee accounts.

i should like to spend my final moments on earth in the soothing grease pool of an enormous halal pepperoni

Stephan you can just exhume the remains of my Greek granddad if you want to play god with a lifeless assortment of material; i won’t tell anyone if you do anything freaky with him & certainly neither will he

the inbred cocker spaniel would like for the boys to be less civil with one another

some say Popeye shared his green stuff with the boy

another day of emerging from bed and feeling as though i just snorted the cremains of keith richards’ old man

i post many of my bizarre thoughts freely but the draft stockpile is a harrowing sojourn to say the least

boots on the ground? why on earth would we ever want to send Dora's monkey into a conflict zone?

i'll never forgive Pretty in Pink for scaring me away from Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark for so long; they've easily been one of my most frequent listens the past couple of years. the lads were brilliant & strange.

this was the last time my grandparents spent any kind of dough on Christmas gifts for us but what a sendoff

an actual Charlie Kirk talking point

i get fried with a little help from bi friends

it's so fucking gross that the apartheid state has forever changed the way i hear the words "mow the lawn"

one of my favorite album cover quirks is the visual pun of "Low profile" marking the initial offering of the fruits of Bowie's exodus from the coke-fueled paranoid mania of '70s Los Angeles to the otherworldly eerie solitude of shellshocked West Berlin

i have a clinical fear of vinegar products and don’t care who knows it

daniel plainview proudly called himself an oilman because he sold 10 for 100 thc cartridges to the teenyboppers town-to-town

This is a baby. This is someone's whole world. Their precious baby. We took him from them.

POV a nafo-pilled canadian retiree with more emojis than letters in their username tells you to rise up & raise hell

kristi don't work here noem more

It’s not disingenuous to point out that the NYT did not run a single front page story of the Minab bombing. You don’t dispute this claim because it’s true. And the story that you reference on your webpage does not attribute blame to US/Israel and frames it as an allegation by “Iranian state media”

the US govt is talking like 2020 Vanessa Hudgens god help us all

Now feels like a great time to support a local Lebanese business, especially as many Lebanese in the diaspora will be supporting their families financially back home through what they earn. I will be popping into my local Lebanese restaurant where I know the lovely family who own it soon!

Wealth inequality has become so extreme in our country that it's become basically impossible to show what's going on in a reasonable graph. If the Y and X axes were linear it would just be a flat line that jumps straight up at the very end. Look at the Y-axis here - it's the best I can do!

self-styled counterjihadist blueanon in their workaday life vs counterjihadist blueanon when they collectively went to bat for Dark Brandon by collectively posing as a tawdry Shiba Inu who wants Ukrainian teenyboppers to fling themselves into the meatgrinder in aims of OWNING the dastardly cheeto 💙

kristi don't work here noem more

Paul Mescal really thought he could denounce cats while playing a Beatle — who he doesn't even scarcely resemble — in a biopic to be released in about 17 years and expected to remain in the good graces of those who've built up his unassailable public image the past few years; extremely rare Irish L

but senator: will you be willing to lay it on the line for love of empire and engage in a lil bloodletting yourself?

“My little girl was completely burned,” he said. “There was nothing left of her. We could only identify her from her school bag, which she was still holding. She was completely burned.”

AI is incapable of boosting a person's norepinephrine, enhancing executive function, imparting transferrable skills or empowering them to better grapple with cognitive defusion in any sense; my fellow side-questing basketcases would be better off teaching themselves Latin & building dry sandcastles

Norm Finkelstein's blistering contempt for Elie Wiesel & the cynical deployment of historical trauma & the breathless exceptionalizing of one's pain sustains me

starting next week on this microblog site anyone who doesn't have to routinely pay for physical intimacy gets instantly & permanently slapped with the "rude" label & the user involuntarily committed for a period of two weeks on the butterfly's dime

the man needs a fresh set of Komboloi beads & a box of Sharawi Bros mastic chewing gum expeditiously

max blumenthal: mj was a cia cutout embedded in the McCallister domicile for the purposes of taking down the KLA-backed Wet Bandits and tastefully proposing to Buzz's girlfriend

in another lifetime Grim was a churlish British invasion drummer, a cornfed Kentuckian varsity bowler who hopelessly aimed to patrol the school’s bustling hallways as well as Rodney Mullen’s stand-in for when he wants free shit at skate conventions but is much too timid to ask for himself

max blumenthal: mj was a cia cutout embedded in the McCallister domicile for the purposes of taking down the KLA-backed Wet Bandits and tastefully proposing to Buzz's girlfriend

most ppl think i have a dead fish grip but with every handshake i bestow a blessing

I'm not sure i get this reference but you get a courtesy like anyways

Superman 64 is better than #sheshed

70% of the House GOP is George Zimmerman in a tailored suit

only thing more loathsome than a microblog hornet's nest kicker is a microblog hornet's nest kicker's fawning hypeman

end-stage douchebag technocrat post-humanist pilled-up ultimate strategy:

what about the poise of Greta Lee — how did it get so fly?

yeah i dig LLMs Lou holtz Lying Motionless & scared

this unwitting little em dash has been ensnared for my devious Command-V purposes in perpetuity — deal with it

this is neat at least

everyone in my family wears glasses except for me and i’m hoping to remedy that soon by printing my reading summaries in 7.5-point EB Garamond

mother goddess is often kind & merciful