Fuck a side hustle. I don’t even want a front and back hustle.

How do we get Dairy Queen’s best scientists to work on developing a banana split Blizzard?

I’m Not a Cub, Not Yet a Daddy Bear

Devil Wears Prada 2 made me very nostalgic… for Ugly Betty

I sincerely love when two Vocalists get in the booth and just try to sing over each other (This post brought to you by “I Need You (feat. Brandy)” by Kehlani).

The gay autistic urge to dress like Mrs. Roper

No, the journal factory didn’t explode. It was cleared out by gay people who buy every cute journal they see but never write anything in them beyond the first three pages.

Currently obsessed with Betty from Big Brother Canada 10. Is she a great game player? No! But I’m entertained and endeared every time she’s on screen.

Just realized I associate a specific speech pattern with both salesman and preachers, which says a lot about the types of preachers I’ve encountered.

tip: you can get 3 free months of Paramount+ if you tell them Erika Kirk seems grounded and human and you wouldn’t be scared to have her for a mom

Top 15 shows based on gut instinct 30 Rock Community Parks and Rec Ugly Betty Superstore Insecure Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Shrinking The Good Place Jane the Virgin The Office Doom Patrol Hart of Dixie Doctor Who Power Rangers

Darth Maul is hot, and that’s all I have to contribute today.

The Tejano influence and steel guitar on Kacey Musgraves’s album are actually making me emotional. Feels like home.

It would require them to momentarily quit queerbaiting “Buddie” stans, but 911 could get decent stories out of letting Buck date Josh.

“I’ll just shower after dinner,” he said, not realizing there was still stray cum in his beard.

I reached out to IT and they were able to prove the issue I was in trouble for wasn’t my fault. I win (?) this round

I told my therapist earlier this week that it was only a matter of time before my job tried to find a way to get rid of me, and it started today…

Not mad about the specific way this doesn’t quite fit 😌

I guess I need to watch more tennis, because I’m starting to subconsciously associate Serena Williams with these goddamn GLP-1 ads more than anything else.

Wanna join my ARC team for Ctrl+Alt+Orc? 💚 Sign ups are open! forms.gle/AoSo3hDTgF3R...

Just over 24 hours away from a Kacey Musgraves/Gregory Alan Isakov collab. More good things of that caliber, please.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being dramatic about my job. But yesterday, I was venting about it in therapy, and my therapist’s eyes just kept getting bigger and bigger; and when I was done all he could say was, “that sounds really toxic.”

I need a job like the Christian god’s - 6 days of hard work, then he only shows up once every few hundred years when the production line pisses him off. That’s the dream.

Big Brother players will join an alliance of the first 14 people in the house, then be positively gobsmacked to find out they aren’t the only one making several sub-alliances within that alliance.

The inclusion of “Sports Shouting” in “The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins” implies that it exists in the same universe as 30 Rock, which means Jenna Maroney could be lurking around any corner.

Did a bunch of filthy mechanic work and still managed to have a good hair day 💅🏽

Me in every video I post about my books: “You can only get them on my website.” My DMs roughly once a month: “I can’t find your book on Amazon.”

Psst. My latest novel is currently 25% off on my website ☺️ #mmromance #mmbooks #gayauthor #indieauthor ryanramirezwebb.com/pages/a-gay-...

This might be the gayest thing I’ve ever said.

Paraphrased something while asking a work question as, “(this document) says to (do this process) when the info the tech provides does not populate.” Supervisor responded, “it actually says, ‘if the info the tech provides is not populating,’” and didn’t answer my question.

New edibles hit with tingles specifically in my feet… and my balls. Every time.

So many good lines in this week’s episode of Hacks, but “Name one magician who’s been on the Supreme Court” gave me the best laugh I’ve had in a while.

Manifesting better vibes for the rest of the day

As soon as you mention your Substack, a foghorn starts in my brain, erasing everything you’ve said prior.

I definitely thought by my 30s I wouldn’t get boners from snuggling anymore, but… 🤷🏻‍♂️

Just a lil guy

Out of Context Things Overheard in Our House #433: “I think he’s cute. I just also think he looks like if Pinocchio became a real boy and then grew up.”

It was supposed to be Winnie the Pooh, but the existential dread in its eyes turned it into a self portrait.

Blue cow, stunning!

Easy A is a formative Gay Movie for me because it was one of the first I saw with a queer character. Plus, Stanley Tucci looks like… that.

“Quiet quitting” but it’s just playing video games and getting a blowjob while on the clock.

Remember when he was Pizzerina Sbarro’s Sex Idiot on 30 Rock?

Does anyone want to play Ogre Oustin’ with me to earn some Mochi in Pokémon Scarlet/Violet? Trying to bank some Mochi to use for Champions teams :)

Sometimes we watch tv and Ryan Lochte will be there unexpectedly, and I wonder if his agent thinks, “what’s the silliest place I can send this man next?”

Paramount Plus is truly just an ad machine that they never bothered considering would be used by actual humans. The user experience is atrocious.

What does it say about me that three people have sent me this TikTok of someone dressed as Sonic the Hedgehog singing “Amor Prohibido” 😂 www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkuDvoHM/

Baby’s first prom 🪩 I’m so glad I got to have this experience with @shark0chie.bsky.social 🥰

I was in a bad mood and this made it worse, actually 😐

New Kacey song hits a little *too* hard. I also long to be in the middle of nowhere so no one can bother me for a while.

Gregory coming out of his shell while drunk but also demanding the dj play the same song 7+ times on this week’s Abbott Elementary… if they don’t get my man his autism assessment soon I’m gonna lose it.