The block and report buttons aren't strong enough I need a kill button asap.

Not to be dramatic, but if I ever go to a job training and they tell me "you can save yourself two clicks by asking copilot to do it for you" I'm promptly shitting on the floor and then leaving.

My brain does this silly shit where if I eat a salad it doesn't register as eating an actual meal, but if you put the contents of said salad on pita or naan or a tortilla and wrap that shit up, suddenly it's the best meal I've had in months.

Why did the dude in front of me in the line at the convenience store turn around and hand me his losing lottery ticket like bro do I look like a trashcan to you motherfucker get the fuck outta here.

Getting sharpened must feel soooo good for the pencil

lol, lmao even

Ladies and gentlemen, we got it. (Yes I know the pack is called "Jackin' It To Anime OPs Pack 1" (so-named because it's a pack of chordjack focused anime OP charts). I don't name the packs go take it up with the guy who does that)

After I took a long break from Etterna I decided to make a new profile from scratch just cause I'd rusted so much and as of today I am thiiiiissss fucking close to passing where I was at my former peak which I know isn't that impressive generally speaking but it's a significant milestone for me.

People who really think being forced to use your real name will stop online toxicity clearly don't have a racist uncle who regularly posts angry screeds on Facebook about "basketball americans" in the comments of local news articles with his real name and photo of his estranged kids on his profile.

Add "Content Creator" to the DSM

Happy fag day!

All trillionaires are pedophiles

I really love how periodically I'll just suddenly start sucking at literally everything for an unknown amount of time for no discernible reason and I just gotta live with that and just wait for myself to randomly stop sucking all of a sudden.

It's crazy how much right wing populism is just this meme but unironically

double stuff oreos should be the default and regular oreos should be like oreo lite or something. mega stuff oreos shouldn't exist. double stuff is the perfect balance. mega stuff is just ridiculous, a product of pure hubris that makes no attempt to be tasteful and is all the worse for it.

>Meet a pretty lady >I ask for her Jabber >"What?" >She never talks to me again Life's hard out here for a librepilled stallmanmaxxer

Ough I'm so sick I'm gonna Vomir and Diabarha all over the place

Me circa 2014 in high school concert band: "Hey we have this gong sorta just sitting around, maybe we should perform a piece that has gong in it" High school band director: "I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as a gong, is in fact, a tam-tam. A gong is a pitched instr-

HAPPY PRIDE

Driving the Ferrari iPhone to flex on Teslacels

God is real and I think him every day for keeping me from auditioning for Berklee College of Music.

Seth Putnam was objectively a greater net positive to the world than JK Rowling is or ever was

Aight I'm ending the bit now cause I feel like if I don't announce I'm ending the bit people are gonna think anything else I say is part of the bit

Prevention and mitigation of harm? The fuck are you talking about moron I only care about punishing bad souls for being bad souls.

Penetrative sex is violence. Some people voluntarily let their partner penetrate them because it's a method of processing trauma from when they were a stabbing victim, but anyone else who is pro-penetration is supporting/normalizing/glorifying violence.

What do you mean you used to ship Warrior Cats characters when you were a kid? I don't get it, like, you wanna watch cats make out or something? You're fucking weird and gross dude go see a therapist or something.

You call your partner "daddy" while he chokes you? Eww, why do you want to fuck your own dad, and why do you support violence against women???? I'm calling the cops! None of this is okay!!!

Any Hibike fans here who speak Japanese? There's something in episode 3 of the first season I've always been curious about as a former band kid myself. There's a part where they're practicing breath technique and the subtitles I have say they're practicing "circular breathing" but I've always known

ah yes i can’t wait to get answers that are ai generated and far more intelligent than before

Kentucky Republican Thomas Massie set himself apart from the rest of his Republican colleagues with his anti-war, anti-mass surveillance, and anti-child rape stances. This would prove to be to his detriment in the 2026 primary, as Republican voters love war, mass surveillance, and child rape.

The temperature is never 65-75 fahrenheit anymore. You get like 2-3 lucky days in the spring (which each have like a 50% chance of falling on a rainy day) but every remaining day is like 56 and under or like 78 and over

"find a way to say yes" How about you find a way to take no for an answer you fucking rapist

Dear web developers: If you use Google's reCAPTCHA, fuck you.

Damn they weren't lying when they said fastfetch is faster than neofetch what the fuck Like fr what the fuck does neofetch even do that makes it so slow on certain machines?

"According to Polymarket, the odds of this are-" *muted* *blocked* *restraining order filed* *gagged and duct taped* *put under house arrest* *your ISP and mobile carrier cancel your respective plans* *your whole city block is put on quarantine* *giant airtight dome is placed over your city block*

Mariko Chiwan-wan, also known as DJ711Mariko

THIS MF PLAYS MMORPGS FOR THE STORY LMAO

Odd time signature music written by someone who knows what a time signature is <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< odd time signature music written by someone who doesn't know what a time signature is

I hate Satan for inventing read receipts.

Patient zeros when they see an airport

we all got that one homie who's processing vulcan shaders

ꟻ⅃∃ƧЯ𐓎ՕΥ ƧƧΙꟼ

FUCK YOU MEAN NICOTINE+ STORES YOUR PASSWORD IN FUCKING PLAIN TEXT IN ~/.config/nicotine/config

curl | bash is always loaded

"I needed the money" is the new "I was just following orders"

POV: you're a cop attempting to evict an elderly cancer patient in western Massachusetts

So, how many more speedruns are they gonna have to do of the Scientology building before someone makes a Garry's Mod map? Or are the Roblox kids gonna beat them to it?