I put this here for two reasons. the first is self explanatory but the second: in the days that followed he maintained despite it

I don’t want to brag but I’ve driven at least 30 buses of transgendered illegal immigrant childless cat ladies to the polls in philly today

we got everything here on bsky, we got politics, we got kink, we got kink politics

hell yes I outsourced my gotv ops to one of the nine guys on earth still playing diablo 4

move closer to the world my friend

and now for my grand finale, morphing from a guy who’s told you all to calm the fuck down for months into a guy screaming at leaves skittering across the sidewalk and shredding his fingernails on the windowsil- nah I’m kidding you should feel good and believe in people even when you don’t want to

I’m a big proponent of not living in a bubble but showing up from twitter with bad vibes is like checking in from a bar named FOOD POISONING and then reporting explosive gut problems

listen i would rather be shot at some more

if you filmed this for a football movie people would get up and walk out of the theater groaning

hello I am watching saquon barkley spring ass backwards over a grown man for the nine hundredth time and just as an aside how great is it that he was in the exquisite kelly greens for this generational highlight

not trying to start fights and I certainly understand the anxiety but can anyone name one tangible thing trump did to actually address any one of his known electoral problems among many key blocs or is this all paperback writer well-what-if-he-did-secret-magic-or-something nerves

Outside of India I cannot think of a worse place to try this than Philadelphia. It's the only US city I've seen with legit Delhi vibes- if you give someone an excuse to fight you they are legit excited like it's their birthday

just give me whatever makes sense

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok then

fellas, the women are Up to Something

the social impact of channel 12 defies measurement

not married to this theory but am engaged to it: tucker saying shit like “nobody knows when we discovered nuclear fusion” is what you say privately when you’re like 19 around friends while high or drunk & if you never had that experience it feels profound but now you’re a grownup so it’s just insane

I have decided to fact check indiana jones endorsing harris, checkmate libs

on kelce spiking that nerd’s phone yesterday. I think the nerd is very lucky that’s all he got out of it, because I’d have supported kelce if he’d cleaned his clock. I’m glad he didn’t but I’d have said “fair enough”. that aside, kelce is wayyyy too overexposed to not have security & handlers now

if the eagles blow this you have to fire him. you have to. the guy took at least six points off the board with his lobster brain

nick sirianni coaching his way out of a 22 point lead against the coach who got fired to give him the job and who is about to be fired in his current job is really some unspeakable new level of incompetence

there is video of dak prescott saying “we fucking suck” on the sideline of today’s loss and I love that so much for jerry jones

hoo boy

I do not know how I’ve been watching this guy with my jaw on the floor for nearly ten years and he still has entirely new levels of what the hell am I seeing left

saquon barkley is not a real human

a touchdown in the first quarter? in this economy?

they want to do the deplorables thing again so bad but going around calling yourself garbage when you just alienated an entire key voter bloc by calling them garbage seems like a poor strategy

can I say something without everyone getting mad at me

the vibes are they’re gonna wish that guy didn’t miss and I think it’s nice to finally all agree on something

really not owning myself as much as I hoped on this one

a bad relationship like nailing a porn star while your wife is home with a newborn? like, that sort of bad relationship?

oh helllllll yes to these script end zones

As he bitched like a big baby about the microphone, I wondered if the people laughing realized that they’re the mic guy, they’re all mic guys to him

lmao

or it’s just a classic two-party-system dynamic and inasmuch as any trump effect exists it’s that he attracts the shittiest humans alive at higher rates and so pollsters are now just playing a campfire scary story game of guessing how many shitty humans are out there

oh I would also like to touch on the idea that the polling industry was “traumatized” by 2016, when their polls meticulously represented the vibes that trump was gonna get crushed, and that only since that vibes-based catastrophe then have polls regressed to a vibes-based model

earlier this week I said the polling industry has invented the perfect un-disprovable con and a few data geeks took issue with my assertion as anti-science somehow. this isn’t science. this isn’t even math. it’s all vibes and paychecks dressed up for halloween as severe statisticians.

my secret plan to win over women, minorities, and low-motivation voters over the closing stretch is to drive around in a garbage truck dressed as a well-seared road flare threatening to kill various people and dunking on puerto rico

fellas is this good closing

getting way out over the skis here playing fantasy football with deathly serious games but krasner is the attorney general from hell for all the right sorts of screaming goblins

I ran away faster and stronger than anyone who has ever run away

I don’t want to say anything nice about the dodgers but how can you not be happy for freddie freeman, because he seems like a genuinely awesome dude but also largely because he made the braves look like hilarious morons while clowning the yankees

hey remember how I said did they just not know you can still cut new ads the final week

the world series broadcast scare-cutting from alec baldwin to pat sajak to john travolta to rob lowe is really a great halloween touch

I’m really only half joking when I say this shit is like how you give an old dog everything he’s ever wanted to do in life the day before you take him to the vet one last time

women love when a man dresses up as some sort of scorched human road cone to tell them what they really want

If you hit his mouth with the water gun just right, a balloon inflates and you might win a prize!

drudge shouldn’t be forgiven for what he did to boost this guy to the top of a pyramid of ghouls but I’ll allow that he’s trying to atone

checking in on the trump campaign’s closing message

god you know who would love this phrasing