Ever briefly date a manbaby you wished would post their location, or intention to attend an event, so you could avoid them? Is anti-stalking a thing?

❣️👇 ko-fi.com/miramichirea...

Everytime I go to my “do it for the plot” friends for life advice I wonder how they are still alive.

“…like A Tribe Called Quest. You gotta say the whole thing” ~ A Pimp Named Slickback

The Boondocks is available on Internet Archives. Not a drill.

Drake makes music for men who still don’t know why a woman won’t take a chance on him.

Of all of the Y2K things we are bringing back, I would like “strangers talking to me about my body” to not be one of them.

Hey, if anyone in the African Studies circle here is interested, this looks like a great opportunity. Move fast, deadline is 22nd May: Post-Doc Position at the Institut für Afrikawissenschaften Vienna

My favourite phone feature is when it offers to notify me when I’m not on hold anymore. No, pharmacy, YOURE on hold 👀

My friend talking about ballroom: I’m a follow Me: why is my whole life just one long running gay joke?

Me after taking a man’s drink order for the eighth time:

“Will you join our workplace bookclub?!” I’m saying no because there’s just no way I don’t ruin this for everyone

Why are there always more chores?

We absolutely need to come up with new categories for class. I’m not talking about “Epstein class” or whatever. Like, when I say “working class” I know I’m referring to people will probably get a repetitive strain injury, so I need a better word.

I used to think cruise ships were like upscale retirement homes but they are just regular retirement homes

Y’allah ☠️

My kingdom for Kwame’s substack disappearing entirely. What an embarrassment ugh

Really hoping the spiders in my apartment know I’m not racist

Yes! Mania-posting is my favourite! That man may be ignoring your stories but babygirl I will “like” every one!

Watching the executives at work lose their minds because no amount of finding a seemingly simple solution to a technical question using ChatGPT can make the IT department do magic

I do not like thunder and lightning

It may not be improving my life to see a cop and start lying about everything immediately but I refuse to unlearn that impulse

Canlit: listen, you are part of this community… Me: *spitting blood* fuck you

So many of you checked in, and I’m so grateful. I promise to get back to everyone but my body is filled with all of this rage and I’m not fun to talk to this way.

Why are they even sending cops when you call the paramedics? The City of London is such an embarrassment ugh

I don’t know if you’ve ever crushed a bottle of wine with your pal at 17:30 and then performed chest compressions on a dying lady at 18:00 with coaching by the dispatcher while a small child watched only to be confronted by cops you did not call but 11/10 do not recommend

Idk man I feel like even if AI scraped from 100% ethical sources, had zero impact on the environment, and produced gorgeous work, I’d still think you were a bitch for using it

Every now and again someone sees my tarted up book account and mentions Onlyfans. The idea of it makes me laugh and laugh. I walk in to a book launch. It gets so quiet. An autistic person in the back of the room stagewhispers: “ACTUALLY ITS A VULVA, NOT A VAGINA”

Can you imagine having a name like Biko Mandela Gray and getting a like a C+ one time in math or something omg

Happy refreshed Kanopy credits day to all who celebrate

The dentist: so by now your lips should feel numb Me, with 1ml of filler and a lip flip: …k

Before you hit “post” always ask yourself: Does this make me sound like a LinkedIn Influencer?

My niece stopped calling me “bruh” so her parents are officially full-time buzzkills smh

I can’t listen to therapy speak or community organizer speak for at least two weeks. Speak to me in corporate jargon, I am begging you.

Choose bear because what kind of crazy person would choose not to hug a bear if it appeared to be presenting you with the option?

Following Ms Rachel on threads and she is seriously like two bad news cycles away from buying a beret and heading to Central America

freefallmagazine.ca/contest/ and there are a few more days to submit to this source where you can be assured I will read your poems and bequeath blessings on a few ;)

The real test of my influence will be seeing if I can get these Jehovahs Witnesses across the street from my apartment to write Canlit book reviews instead of trying to convert me

Vertigo so bad I’m walking around like the town drunk in an old Irish novel

Not having the personal capacity to manage other peoples’ expectations has reduced my screen time by roughly 65%

“… from the start, most every heart that’s ever broken, was because there always was a man to blame” 🎻🪕🎵🎶

People who wear cologne are like “I just really want to smell like I dumped 5-6 earl grey tea bags into a full tank of gas” 🤢🤢🤢

"A War on Women," a new documentary about the history of the feminist resistance in Iran, debuts at Hot Docs Festival this Sunday. I spoke to @smohyeddin.bsky.social, who co-wrote the film, about the evolution of the movement and how it's been co-opted in the West.

I think Britney Spears is too rich and isolated to be exposed to genuinely radical ideas, but if it ever happens I bet she’s goes so hard. The governments will all be like “Where did the Zapatistas suddenly get all of this money?” But we will know

If you want to feel GREAT about yourself, text a younger millennial or Gen Z and tell them you repaired something.

Tradwives are a complete menace.

I can’t subscribe for anything else and I don’t want anymore points. I’m too tired.

Must there always be something that needs trimming or clipping or polishing or waxing or shaving or tweezing or lifting…

A mason jar with a lid IS a travel cup.

Ick to be flirted with by a guy you know is in love with someone else. Stop that, blech