My new colleague is an askhole

I do not think it makes me a germophobe to wash my hands when I walked into the house.

Now auctioning off the opportunity for you to have your new book in a photo with my belly button featured on Instagram.

So I’m sitting at a bar waiting for the next session and the conversation among the bartenders is as follows: Employee: well, she’s late Manager: yeah, she’s gonna be a bit because her apartment building burned down and we don’t have anyone to cover, and I have to go

If it’s in the group chat, I will never know about it.

Is the Kneecap thing enforceable on unceded land?

If you’re distressed watching the transphobic nightmare unfold, a great way to support trans people is to become a penpal to an imprisoned trans person. @powerblossoms.bsky.social, @arcgenderjustice.bsky.social, @blackandpinkorg.bsky.social, @massamp1312.bsky.social, @tpride.bsky.social

It has been a very fun week of finding out that none of the stuff I have to buy comes in the sizes I need. Seriously, phones and clothes need to be smaller, and snacks need to be much bigger.

I got my phone in 2021 and I’ve already changed the battery once. Now the battery is already at Max Capacity: 90%. Stuff needs to last longer, this is ridiculous.

A small one bedroom condo on King Street in London is slightly more expensive (price/fees/taxes) than a large studio condo in Cabbagetown. Bonkers.

Writing a negative book review that’s like 3/4 synopsis is almost as unprofessional as publishing it.

Having a crush in your 40s is so embarrassing 🫠

Appreciate that one part of the health system works but ready for the hospital to stop reminding me that I have a gross body and need to go have my boobs repeatedly slammed into several machines every few months. Like, they’ll just fall off on their own at some point, yeah?!

In 2020 I went on a walking date with a man who told me he used to be a cop (gross) and that’s where I ended it. Still, he offered me a ride home in his Tesla, and I said no. Offered to take me on his boat (I can’t swim or tan) and I said no. Anyhoo: lfpress.com/news/local-n...

Books got written and printed and sold before The Giller Prize. There were other prizes and there will be other prizes. Also, there will be books, even without prize. Change actually isn’t that scary for anyone but rich people who don’t want to give up power

I’ll buy my own copy and then I will give it away because I really want someone to have it. God bless the library for preventing this

Aw! Love seeing all of your names here 🙂

What’s on your “Prize Director’s Twitter Menty-B” Bingo Card for 2025?

Gross.

I’m resigned to the fact that my life will be derailed by a handsome man with big arms. Sigh

Pumped for all of Monday’s social media posts about why participating in, and losing, a prize in an embarrassing contest that every worthwhile writer already dropped out of is more important than getting behind your community, who wants nothing to do with genocide. I’m saving all of them.

Toronto trip is postponed until October 19-27. See you then ❤️

Yes. I can take pills with coffee on an empty stomach. You could too if you were pure of heart.

I am starting to feel like lit festivals/events should at least offer me some sort of pass discount like if I go for TMR.

Burner accounts make me sad

Are you saying that Israel attacked peaceful civilians in other countries? Like, famous people who’ve been in documentaries even? Journalists even?! 😏

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How many times per year do you try to throw out all of your stuff and move into a studio apartment?

Wash your hands when you go into someone’s house. Like, don’t make them ask you. 🤢

Younger guy telling me all about the seriousness of perimenopause symptoms is either the worst mansplaining or the craftiest cougar-baiting I have ever seen. Honestly, I hope he tries this on someone in perimenopause. A for effort.

“In Israel, the literary world censors, silences, distorts, segregates and thus collaborates with the atrocities perpetrated in Gaza.” lithub.com/an-open-lett...

“So, again, we’re gonna use much more Botox than we would normally. What this will do is drop your shoulders, reduce your tension in your neck, and let you sit at your desk all day without pain” Bet lol

There are like 50 cool things happening in Toronto this month. I wish rent there wasn’t $8000.

Ignore a man talking in your DMs and his messages will start sounding like they are from HR. “What are you wearing?” to “Warm Regards” in like 4 hours, max.

Them: You’re obviously very femme-presenting. What is it like for you in that sort of romantic situation?” Me: OMG, DARE 🙈

jobs are either "Grant Writer ($32,165–$33,165)" or "Senior Vice President of Child Slaughter ($650,000–$750,000, 401k/medical/dental/vision/you can touch the art at museums)"

I think the worst thing about Cuba is that they aren’t doing overtime for us anymore. Get back here and stop these genocides, damn.

My friend from work who asks me global politics questions: Why did every hate Margaret Thatcher so much? Is it because she was a woman? Me: I’m gonna need you to look up Frank Turner on your break

Love seeing all of my girlies give up on dating altogether. I mean, bummer, but I am thisssss close to my Golden Girls retirement plan

“I’d rather block you from my known accounts and then creep you from my burner accounts.” Omg, lol! I have fans 😘

I’m ready for there to be less wasps hovering around everything I want to do and being hyper-aggressive for no reason. Also, the bugs are really bad this year.

Some man leaving the restaurant said “Wow! Your books seem interesting and important. I’m sorry for bothering you.” and then he bowed, and left. So, I’m in love now…

Infomercial voice: Mad that you’re not getting laid? Thinking about remaining totally undesirable, but also writing a manifesto or buying a ticket to a J. Peterson lecture? Not anymore! I’m here to tell you about the miracle of “having a bit of cocaine to share at any bar on any Friday”

Everytime I open my phone I find out that a rich white guy ruined something that was definitely worth saving.

When I was growing up my maternal grandparents had a fishing camp “up in back of River Valley.” Everyone but me knows why that’s different from actually being in River Valley. I nod along anyway. I’m a fraud.

I think if I had a husband I would hint over and over that I wanted a Dyson and at Christmas he would buy it for me. Then I would have a fancy, overpriced vacuum and also something to hold against him for the rest of his life.

Anything happening in Toronto on September 13? Invite me to any of the following: -Literary event w/ snacks -House party that ends by 10:00pm -Nap

“…the idea of decolonisation itself seems to be suffering, ironically, from colonial capture.”

G: I read chapter books now, like you Me: *melts*

I will admit that my dates going sideways is often my fault. A 48 year-old man once asked me if I’m ‘on Reddit at all?’ and I said “obviously no, I’m not a school shooter” which is what I thought Reddit was for. But like, definitely my 23 year-old friend was way more patient about explaining Reddit