Do you think spoken word poetry night is actually like a low sensory punk show?

When I was in school, one of my assignments was to write a paper about the consequences of too many shrill voices in corporate boardrooms. Which was inherently “write about how women ruin workplaces.” I got a pass (barely) because he hated me, but didn’t want me to retake his class.

I make my coffee at home and I hate those stupid little decorative blankets so like, I guess I understand why, technically, I’m not really boycotting Indigo and Starbucks. Seriously though, what do you need from those places that you can’t get somewhere else?

75 physical ARCs of THE IRON GARDEN SUTRA are up for grabs in my #goodreadsgiveaway! there's a long-lost generation ship and a depressed monk. come and get it! ends November 15th

Missing person from Waterloo region. Foul play suspected. I hope they're found soon and are safe. www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

If you have a very friendly dog, you should tell women you meet on walks that the dog is usually not friendly “but hey, she likes you!” Probably you’ll have nudes by that evening

We round up all of the geese in London and drop them off in the General Dynamics parking lot

Me: you don’t have to shop at SHEIN! Thrifting is so affordable, and you can get nice stuff Them: f*ck you I will only shop at SHEIN and not wear any of it and then take it all to the thrift store where you shop and there will be no nice stuff

I’m a single auntie who drinks wine alone at suburban family functions, but two-drink me is actually a fun person so I only hang out at the kids table. Like YES! Hit me with that third grade drama in ASL and teach me your dance routines because your parents are lameeeeee

“This is all very organized Sarah, great work” Thank you! I took my thinking methamphetamines at 05:00 today

Please don’t invite me to hang out with you and your boyfriend if he isn’t crate trained ffs

One of my favourite things about being a half-naked lady on the internet is that no one sliding into my DMs knows in advance that they are entering a woke-nerd boss fight

“This book was on the Giller Long List!” Your mom was on the Giller Long List

If you call your own writing “nuanced” I feel it probably isn’t

Me: sells vacuum on marketplace for $5 Me: books $125 worth of aesthetic services

I have several vintage fur coats that I feel weird about wearing and weirder about selling.

I’m not musical but I do think that if Shania Twain and L’il Jon did an album together they would be unstoppable

“Why would I want to watch men standing around and spitting constantly?” ~ Nanny on watching the World Series

I think the easiest way for me to save money on Botox is for all of you to stop making me so mad 😡

I feel like I have a reasonable deal on my apartment because I’m comparing to Toronto, but every time I look at apartments in Montreal, I feel cheated.

Can you imagine the audacity of referring to your father’s cousin by her first name?

My Nanny called to tell me about her exhausting trip to the choirpractor today. No, I did not spell that wrong, and it gives me so much joy.

“I don’t know why we need to reference anything, the last guy was able to get them to do their jobs without any push back” I say to my director, who refuses to do anything she is supposed to do, but will rise to any bait. Harness the power of a toxic work culture

G had to let me go yesterday because her mom was taking her for a “play date”. She is almost 9, and not once have her and her friends on her street chased a boy til he fell and then kicked sand on him. Not once. Suburban life sounds like prison tbh

Another day, another bra-themed meltdown. One month ‘til my mammogram, which will be the biggest meltdown.

I keep forgetting about kanopy

The little black dress that I haven’t worn on this trip: Hey! You didn’t use me on the last trip either? Am I a “just in case” item that you bring along for no real reason?! The condoms that live at the bottom of my suitcase: HahahaHAAAAAAA

The hotels in Montreal are a fraction of Toronto - Yay The fastest train from London is 10 hours - 🥺

PSA: Horrified by the new anti-renter bill Ford government has proposed? Email Minister of Municipal Affairs and Housing, Rob Flack, at [email protected] (copy [email protected]). Ontarians can also share their feedback below. Consultation closes Nov 30. www.ontario.ca/page/consult...

This guy

Another month, another disappointing retirement savings statement

God, please give me the extreme self-confidence of a Gen-X er who is momentarily getting a bit of attention

Bless you, Instagram, for developing those handy lighting filters. I don’t want to buy a ring-light unless I HAVE to! Left: Paris filter Right: no filter

I’ve never really seen myself as odd, but I’ve had some standout confirmation moments. For example, one time a man trying to sell me a timeshare asked me to “please stop interrupting” because I was doing the conversion between three currencies faster in my head than he could on a calculator.

Every single one of my adult relatives before I’ve finished a sentence: I’m protecting my peace

Why would I ever buy a travel cup when they give you a perfectly good glass WITH A LID when you buy pasta sauce at the supermarket?

I had to walk for 25 minutes with a suitcase and that walk included many stairs you guys I DO NOT LIKE BEING SWEATY

In Toronto this evening for a week 💋

If I don’t include chapbooks, books I’ve read before but read again this year, books I didn’t really enjoy enough to finish, and books where I can’t really recall anything special about them, I’m at 87 books for 2025. What is the point of counting and who decides what counts?

If you get your smear test at a sexual health clinic you know that they always ask these unnecessary and seriously intrusive sex questions, and the sex maniac who created that questionnaire is reading your answers in a dimly-lit corner with a cigarette right now probably.

I do feel like most holidays have a weird or fake premise but like, people need reasons to come together, so why be a buzz kill? Except for a holiday where white colonizers were ever “grateful” for anything, lol. Obviously my imagination has limits.

Buy bookcases vs downsize

When you fall into a disingenuous debate with a cult member, it feeds your ego. They nod while you make your arguments, they make you talk so long that your words can be twisted. They will let you think you could change their mind if you are logical. This is a deception. It’s recruitment 101

once Jesus Christ is firmly established as a DC character we can at last start having some important power level conversations

The woman at the table next to me is telling her friend an extremely intense story of bad friendship, boundaries, pathology, trauma, community etc. and I cannot figure out if she’s talking about a person or a dog

I don’t eat pork, and I haven’t in a long time. Sometimes this competes with my feelings about food waste. Like, I didn’t know this lasagna had pork in it, so what do I do? Throw it out? If you do eat pork and this seems uncomplicated, please read pork as cat and really just feel that ick

I have no real agenda for my collection of olive themed art/data. It’s mostly inaccessible to me because of my embarrassing language barrier. Im always looking for stories, recipes, facts, data, poems, insights about olives. Ideally in English, but I will work that out

If I’m ever overexplaining how to do something social media, I want you to picture a toddler who just figured out how the elevator works and can’t fucking wait to tell you about it. I’m still kind of new here lol

Love the classic creature-of-the-week X-Files episodes? With creature features like Bigfoot sightings, Cressie - a legendary giant eel, and the mysterious Ropen, a pterosaur-like creature — J.J. Dupuis’ (@jeffdupuis.bsky.social) Creature X mysteries are perfect reads this spooky season!

Took my adderall with coffee on an empty stomach but because I’m pure of heart it only made me very sleepy