My friend is pregaming Ramadan so I went to her house for dinner and now I am too full to stay awake and too wired on coffee to sleep.

People who can say whatever insane shit they want to whoever they want, on Twitter, without any fear of losing their job: a president a Canadian literary prize director a tenured professor

It has been six years but I have my first appointment with a family doctor on Tuesday

Payday is my favourite because I get to empty my account again before 07:00 🎊

I can’t smoke pot because it makes me too paranoid but imagine if I did and I saw the grass costume people running toward me?

Sending my dad La Bamba memes til he sings out loud IN SPANISH

I’m not necessarily recommending Threads, but the PBS account is very comforting

Got to work this morning with 193 outstanding emails. How did Jeffrey Epstein have time to rape all those kids?

Me, if I ever met B-Real: you can just say neighbour

All I want for my birthday is a free Palestine, and Angelina Jolie’s lip injector

Anyone up for a euro trip in May?

I was treated very well this week by a lot of nice people. I don’t say that often enough.

The mania of a person who believes they are not just getting scraps

I think the best way to get everyone at work to respond to your third request is to say you’re taking the next day or two off.

We can’t all be avoidant types.

I do not debate sexual assault allegations with strangers on the internet; I block. Take your devil’s advocate bullshit back to hell where it belongs. As for me and my house, we shall believe survivors.

A literary salon where you read me a bedtime story then tuck me in before you go

The only Disney character who really resonated with me is probably Donald Duck 🤔

Turns out that one gay-themed photo op can convince every straight person that Mark Carney isn’t a racist warmonger.

They should invent a way to go a whole day without spending $150 that isn’t just crippling poverty

Honestly, give all of the men to Jolene if it will sate her thirst.

Nudes are only for people who have tricked me into believing there is something special between us.

(norman rockwell guy) i don't think we should replace human tutors with the lying robot that tells children to kill themselves

I don’t know if MOXI is worth it but I’m going to go through with the treatments because you guys I can actually see my freckles 🙈

Furious enough to shave my legs.

Too many of you sound like “Condemn Netanyahu and two or three of his pals for specifically breaking this one rule in an international law and also killing American journalists” and you should know you sound like one of those people who becomes a cop to change the system from the inside. 🤮

Super not excited for the ANTM discourse.

Having a supermarket right across from my place would be awesome if everything wasn’t 50% more expensive.

Every time I let myself think about moving to Montreal I remember all of the snow. Also the French.

David Attenborough voice over while you try to attract me as a mate by building me a nest (put my blanket in my duvet cover)

“The way power often works is that if you cater enough to the interests of those higher in the social hierarchy you may be graced with that person's attention, but don't ever assume they think you are on the same level as them.” Annahid Dashtgard - Breaking the Ocean

My face is shedding from a skin treatment an it’s so itchy and I’m not allowed to touch it, if you want to know how my day is going

lol

I think everyone should have one social media platform that they use just to talk to themselves

The thing about polyamory is that for the last 20+ years every person who tried to sell me on it as a lifestyle also owns a futon. “Don’t you want to have very genuine relationships and real love with several people who all sleep on futons?” No, thank you. My back already hurts constantly.

Say what you want about Sabrina Carpenter but I haven’t heard anyone say “expresso” in a very long time

The Beckham-Peltz wedding is dumb, but also a few people who follow me here were at mine and ex-husband’s wedding, and I am happy to laugh with you about how these kids will never understand that being dance-molested by your own mom is not even close to the worst thing that could have happened.

How do you write AI into sci fi when people use the term AI to mean the slop generators we are using now? We will ask @thesuiway.bsky.social tonight on TMR presents on IG Live at 7:30pm

There is nothing like a family crisis to be aggressively reminded that your family cannot regulate their own nervous systems, and will be furious if you still have some sense of scale.

Tag him in your thirst traps

Scheduling a Brazilian so I can see if Stacey has changed her mind about writing book reviews

White ladies stole language from queer/black/trans culture and used it to infantalise each other, so no you cannot join the Black Panther Party. But you CAN start your own party! Put your pink hats on and go beat an ICE officer with your big dumb cups girl slayyyyyy

Resistance 101 People in Minnesota are now using their car key fobs to trigger their car alarms from the safety of their homes when they see ICE walking around.

“I’m really not like other white people” I whisper to myself as I wash my legs in the shower

Getting weird about boycott discourse as it pertains to cheap and easily accessible food. Like, obviously fuck McDonalds and Starbucks because they are pro genocide, but only for that reason, because food-shaming is deeply shitty.

I am just finding out that there are dress rental shops that are not bridal dress shops. Bananas

Every now and again someone lets me know that a person who sucks (they don’t know he’s an “old flame”) has exactly the life he deserves (derogatory) and I love that for all of us

If I die, it can’t be during a training session about change management. It cannot.

I will bet this entire regulation basketball-sized prescription of lorazepam that I will not send a “did I do something wrong?” text