Johnny B. Toff
@ratdick.bsky.social
📤 52
📥 271
📝 141
microplastic sommelier
time for a little fun: tell me your LEAST WOKE 16 digit card number, CVC and expiration date!
8 days ago
0
0
0
what about banning Lighthouse Family voting. sorry guys. your music was too bland, now you're not getting a ballot.
8 days ago
1
2
0
RFK JR: One time, Trump grabbed a placemat, turned it over, took a Sharpie, and drew a perfect picture of Garfield, but with a gigantic erection and a sweet pair of tits. It challenged a lot of the assumptions I had been told about him.
8 days ago
0
3
1
unrelated, but if anyone fancies a very reasonably-priced kit kat hmu
add a skeleton here at some point
8 days ago
0
2
0
my beautiful olympus pen-f died. it's very much been around the world with me and i learned everything i know about photography with it. not sure whether to simply get another (already have a bunch of lenses for it) or save up for a little bit and get a ricoh gr iii
8 days ago
1
1
0
shut the fuck up
add a skeleton here at some point
8 days ago
1
3
0
9 days ago
0
0
0
going to set up a group that observes groups that observe elections.
9 days ago
1
6
1
weird that my baby goes missing every time i throw out the bathwater
9 days ago
0
2
0
Of Mice and Men 1992 ‧ Western/Drama ‧ 1h 55m
9 days ago
0
2
0
9 days ago
0
3
2
i'm grotesquely hungover and i'm going to an 'all you can drink' boxing night later. i'll be dealing with the repercussions of these actions for some time.
9 days ago
0
1
0
whether you agree with his methods or not, you can't argue with results.
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
1
4
0
didn't know it was HBO. maybe there'll be an episode where harry does too much coke and beats someone to death.
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
0
4
0
long week, but meeting my parents shortly at a particularly nice sky bar.
10 days ago
1
3
0
reposted by
Johnny B. Toff
Jack
10 days ago
I think it's great that the kids there have worked out that they can get her to say literally anything in the national media, and they get to be moved to a proper school into the bargain.
add a skeleton here at some point
4
122
27
the spell that causes people to go blind is "hey, how's it going" and doesn't require a wand
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
0
1
0
this is half true. i was one of the trolls he paid. i gave him false information and used the money to send Xi Jinping a box of cigars and some robux.
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
0
3
1
i posted some material for my students last year about book reviews and this morning it received its first and only response: the turd emoji.
10 days ago
0
1
0
oh so now you're against violence towards children
10 days ago
1
1
0
seems like a good omen!
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
0
3
1
add a skeleton here at some point
11 days ago
0
4
0
each new student to hogwarts must first put on a magical hat that determines which bathroom they're allowed to use
11 days ago
0
2
0
i listened to a michael ian black special years ago and folks, he should rename himself michael ian 'blech' - not a laugh to be had!
12 days ago
0
1
0
on the bus watching the harry potter series on my ipad, tutting and shaking my head periodically so everyone knows I'm one of the cool ones
12 days ago
0
1
0
god i used to love stealing mobile phones. feel differently now, and have since come to regret my actions. haven't done it since October last year (the 20th iirc). some little ginger bloke in london. omw to hand it in to the police.
12 days ago
0
1
0
reposted by
Johnny B. Toff
"You're absolutely right! Well done for catching that. There is in fact no evidence whatsoever that suggests immigrants to the UK are able to join together to form an enormous mech, like in Power Rangers."
14 days ago
0
3
2
i would GLADLY allow anybody i love to be hounded out of society for ONE new episode of Clifford the big red dog.
12 days ago
0
1
0
my cousin did set design for the new harry potter series and she told me that 99% of the dialogue is long-winded and meandering rants about unisex toilets
12 days ago
0
4
0
if you're unhappy about the criticism you're receiving for being a harry potter adult (HPA), simply complain about it during your nightly teddybear's picnic and treat yourself to an extra rusk
12 days ago
1
38
16
how does this even work. did Iran fly a giant, gift-wrapped parcel over to washington with "For Donald" written on the tag?
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
0
0
0
iran should hack their siren so that it plays the benny hill theme
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
0
0
0
it's funny to imagine someone who is rightly disgusted by rowling but completely incapable of moving on from the cheesy boy wizard bullshit they liked when they were 9 years old
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
1
3
0
reposted by
Johnny B. Toff
lewys
14 days ago
Always worth noting about Melanie Phillips is she is cited in Anders Breivik’s manifesto as having inspired him
add a skeleton here at some point
1
55
17
reposted by
Johnny B. Toff
Saul Staniforth
14 days ago
The UK govt didn't condemn the US's illegal & unprovoked attack, they haven't called on the US to stop, they're helping the US & they won't criticise the US targeting civilian infrastructure. Govt minister this morning: "its the Iranians that have escalated the conflict"
loading . . .
13
112
68
reckon a couple of balcony beers is the move
14 days ago
0
0
0
my incredibly based and intelligent adult son Germany is on his phone, trying to order a sandwich from Block Blast
15 days ago
0
0
0
i feel like bad lieutenant is the most aptly named movie. could have potentially gone with a stronger adjective but otherwise, a very solid title.
16 days ago
1
0
0
not a violent person at all, but i know for a fact that i could stab rupert bear. zero hesitation. zero provocation.
16 days ago
0
0
0
this is going to revolutionise fatal road traffic accidents
add a skeleton here at some point
16 days ago
0
0
0
i would love to live in a dark and forboding forest by myself
16 days ago
0
0
0
funny that it was someone's job to dig through a pile of burning rubble and jerk off benjamin netanyahu while he was dying
17 days ago
0
0
0
you reached the end!!
feeds!
log in