A recent cartoon for @newscientist.com p.s. my new book of science cartoons 'Physics for Cats' is out now. Visit www.tomgauld.com for details

[UK politics.] looks like Mo Chara might escape the dull arm of the law on a technicality, but it was a spiteful and malicious charge, so I would be glad to see that. #kneecap

@dasaolu hello, thanks for your follow request. Your sketchy profile information doesn't meet my criteria for accepting follow requests. Furthermore I strongly recommend investing in professional photography for a well-lit and well composed profile picture.

Today, Phone Notification Duck quacked loudly (and there was an echo!) in an otherwise silent (but fully occupied) mens' toilets, and I am unrepentant. 🦆

Any sufficiently advanced concentration of crowd-sourced vulnerability seeking is indistinguishable from vibe hacking.

Reminder for Anchorage folks: the meaning may have softened over the years, but the phrase "termination dust", applied to the snow that appears on the mountains in the fall, was originally not about the termination of _fall_. It was about the termination of […] [Original post on infosec.exchange]

by-grabthars-hammer-dot-gif

The robot mower was making a funny noise, I turned it over; it has literally thrown a track. Looks repairable.

Free good fings oggi 1. Refund is in train for The World's Ugliest Cycling Shoes™ 2. The fortune teller on "Rob and Rylan Visit India To Entertain You With Their Culture Shock" is the spitting image of a former colleague, albeit with darker skin. Much chuckling. 3. Mild anxiety day today with […]

Jenkins is a big fan of recycling. Especially cardboard. #rabbitsofmastodon #jenksterfreitag

Warum werden in Großbritannien die Rezensionen auf die Titelseite gedruckt?

@smithdanaanabella0701 thanks for your follow request, your profile does not meet the acceptance criteria.

WHY did nobody tell me Deacon Blue is playing the BIC on Thursday when it's too late to change plans? #deaconblue

Has anyone called their new cat "GPT" yet? How about "Bot"? #catsofmastodon

[song lyric about potential overdose] "... and paracetamol, I'll take them all, line my stomach wall..." - Catatonia, "Goldfish and Paracetamol"

Full marks to Bernice Cole who is credited with traipsing around India doing hair and makeup for Rob and Rylan's travel show.

[UK politics] I might have misunderstood, but the idea that stopping immigration for the sake of our women and children is so that white British rapists and child molesters can have a free run at them?

[US politics] If you all wouldn't mind stopping time while I tweak this pun that Charlie Kirk and Charlotte Church were the same person I'd be grateful.

I strongly recommend everyone use cookie autodelete. I laugh now at the dark pattern of "ACCEPT COOKIES" buttons next to "REJECT FOR A MONTHLY FEE". Sure, give me cookies. They'll last exactly as long as this tab is open, chumps, and I know it works because you show me this nonsense EVERY SINGLE […]

I've had to filter one word because of superstitious nonsense. Fab 5 Freddy tells me everything's fly.

Sunday is phone software upgrade day. None of the release notes in the "play store" mention security, so it's ok not to upgrade any of them, right? Right?

#stillesonntag #silentsunday

all I did was one rotation of "The Recap" and one rotation of "Sayonara" and I'm still humming the hook from "Sayonara" four hours later. Bangers, as I never used to say. #kneecap

"Her real name isn't Nancy," said Peggy. "Her name is Ruth, but Uncle Jim said that Amazons were ruthless, and as our ship is the Amazon, and we are Amazon pirates from the Amazon river, we had to change her name. Uncle Jim gave us the ship last year. We only […] [Original post on mastodonapp.uk]

Looking out of the port side of the ferry Barfleur mid-Channel for #Fensterfreitag

this tv aftershave ad was all over the ferry duty free shop too, and all I could think was "I too could smell like a grumpy looking twat"

The Only Heliotrope Cow In The World https://mastodon.social/@publicdomainrev/115226320486146167

Windows computer upgrade screen claims "You're x% there" when I'm doing nothing. 🙄

Question for all the HR professionals out there: What's the least morally bad, least damaging thing a person can do that results in their immediate dismissal from a company? Thanks.

I don't know how this happened by I now have Aerosmith & Run DMC's "Walk This Way" as an earworm, _except_ it's performed by Chas & Dave. It's like an Eastenders karaoke.

Wishing everyone a good 81st anniversary of the first drop at Arnhem. Great-uncle SSgt George Duns was a Horsa pilot; on the 17th, the tow parted over Kent. They landed and made their way back to Fairford, and joined the second lift on the 18th. His experiences after that were probably similar […]

Let's see if tonight I can fall asleep in the second act of the Bake Off the way I fell asleep in the second act of the Sewing Bee final last night. <Animated Graphic Interchange File showing Homer Simpson asleep on sofa, drooliing>

I have a new ambition: to obtain an armful of large cuddly toys and improbable inflatables, and to visit a funfair with them.

[Unorthodox opinion about Remembrance that might upset the dullards] Odd going around the OVERLORD landing beaches this weekend, especially the relatively new British memorial at Arromanches.

Awesome. #cycling #beer #cider

[Could be taken as belittling sanctified memory of USA military] Lest we forget that on the morning of 6 June 1944, some American soldiers drank too much Calvados, and, paralytic, had to be dragged off the beach by their more sober comrades. #calvados

My commuter bike is now a single-speed temporarily until I can pick the fragments of gear cable out of the shifter. It'll get me to work and back. And if the mad tailwind is still there tomorrow I can always adjust up a gear or two before leaving Commuter cycle life is feeling like an episode […]

On reaching the front of the Poole port incoming passport queue last night, I was amused that the reason the next lane had stopped solid for 5 minutes was the occupants of a French-registered BMW Mini. One where the tail light cluster glass was replaced with one that looks like half a 🇬🇧. 😆 I […]

[Contains mention of substack without performative head-shaking and tutting. Also political violence and The Dreadful State Of The World. There are no cat pictures.] This was uplifting. https://michaelestrin.substack.com/p/wednesday-in-america?r=5xmy7f

I would love to filter toots that go "I don't use Mastodon much any more, I am mostly using something else but perhaps I will use Mastodon more because <vague reason>." subtext "I perceive an opportunity for some 'please stay with us' attention to make me feel better." People that use these […]

Bizarre that you can move 10k down the coast from the 🇬🇧🇨🇦 to the 🇺🇸 beaches and the camping lady speaks English with un twang d'USA.

I just came across one of Kurt Vonnegut's famous quotes in the wild: Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies— […]

Leg 1 Highcliffe-Portsmouth complete. No rush so dodged the worst of the rain in the chip shop and a couple of bus shelters. See you all in Ouistreham. #cycling

75% of microsoft teams notifications are "sorry, got to drop for another meeting" for a meeting I no longer attend but might need to again at some point.

Inner tubes: pathetically vulnerable: when fitting and when riding tough as old boots: when trying to cut one up for scrap rubber for a bodge repair #cycling

perhaps if I toot this I will feel better and be able to concentrate I need to remember that if I am going on a long weekend excursion with friends, taking my commuter bike, I need to find a way of giving the commuter a rest and some maintenance first. Currently looking at 7 hrs before […]

This morning's mystery is why <relative> would blind-copy Mrs Roach on an email to the local airport's air traffic control function, about model flying near the flightpath.

Close-up of a Eurostar window somewhere between Rotterdam & Lille for #Fensterfreitag

[Proud parent gushing] Going home from the 5th and 6th form awards night, Roach Minimus has 4 awards (outstanding exam results, colossal number of commendations, best result in the year for English Lit & Spanish), and Roach Minor for outstanding results and best result in the year for English […]

"Mellow Magic" radio appears to think "Against All Odds" is mellow.