That was a real low-energy Little Free Library.

My first award with the story that won!

Wow. Can't wait until having an imagination is declared a mental illness.

Paid influencers will always buy the quiet places.

I like to think of my body as a rubber band surrounded by pudding.

A voyeur is really just a domestic astronomer.

Cringe is the new satire.

I only wear Natural Death leather.

Citric acid is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

The toilet seat is highly defective.

Happy Publication Day! Cat is out of the bag. We're releasing our next publication early. Grab a copy of DRIVE-THRU OF THE DEAD by Bryan Smith now! a.co/d/aqrYCiP

We all just need to work on our core in the laziest way possible.

Home of the Dinner Log!

A thinking insect lives forever.

"Healthy" is a very broad spectrum.

So many different ways to be bored. I'm into all of it.

My spring hobby is creeping around at night and taking photos.

Trying to open an anus on the top of my head so I can be more easily skullfucked.

Gray looks beautiful against a vibrant background.

Peaceful robots good. Hateful robots bad. My baseline color is gray.

Relax, we're all trying to make AI healthy.

Eventually, they're going to tell us to stop studying birds, insects, rats, bees, and the weather.

Trying to figure out how to be yourself without getting murdered is a true human condition.

Lotta death cults out there. Absurdism keeps me alive.

The Enlightened Dark Ages wouldn't be so bad, I guess? #howareyouadjustingtofascism

If I'm holding something in my hand and staring at it, I'm assuming it's fiction and I'm only doing it because I'm kind of bored.

If I spend anything, I realize I'm choosing to make my life a lot easier or a lot more difficult. Balancing is a valuable skill.

Stepped outside to listen to the insects. They're very faint right now. Soon they'll be roaring. And I'll stay outside until they bite or irritate me too much. Hope I have an inside to retreat to!

Gosh, I sure hope Idiot Economics doesn't catch on to me. I don't want to have to pay to be content.

My memoir would be called "The Drug-budget Chronicles". And it would be super lame. And that's okay.

Starting to think I was just hate-filled and miserable to fit in. But, like, with a REALLY small crowd.

The meek shall inherit the earth if they give their time, attention, and money to the loudest person in the world.

We're all really just coming to terms with the Majorly Fine Art of Shunning.

For me, it always has been and always will be a very hard pass on theocracy.

Heels have always been masters of the algorithm.

Our 1 a.m. tornado-siren set-up.

The Great Depression was probably awesome.

We have the best time when medicine is really cheap. That doesn't mean we're all sick.

Turns out the zombies don't need anything. They just wander around creeping people out.

Saw someone wearing a t-shirt that says "Don't bully me. I'll cum. :(" Don't think I've seen social media summed up so succintly.

Branding is incredibly lazy.

'80s Flintstones vitamins were probably the answer.

An authoritarian society asks not how you're doing but what are you?.

Just replace Guns with Law. Constant bickering is better than constant death, right? I mean, both of them do kind of suck.

The people who want to make more babies will always be the people who are pro-censorship.

If you're out here looking for ghosts, I've been here doing the same thing since we first met. You're trying too hard to find me.

I would have to make a lot more money to become a humanist guru.

Can anyone suggest a paying market for nonfiction about horror films that isn't uncomfortable with getting overtly political? I have a fun and extremely timely essay using horror movies and absurdist theatre as a guide for how to resist fascism that's looking for a home.

Pretty tired of Big Car Wash trying to control the Wind and Rain!

I think maybe I just don't like the characters this season.