“What separates us from the machines is irony.” “No, it is our ability tk laugh at irony.” “We call it…” Together: “Mets”

“Can you laugh at hypocrisy?” “Then what are you doing here?”

I want someone to comment on the programmatic personalized Jewel-Osco digital ads so I can say — it’s certainly a market play.

If I had to run a boardroom right now, I have a Sephora gift card to get some berry brow mascara and yah, I’ve got the looks

Mon dieu, of course I have $2,500 in credit card debt and $138474$3$3$3$3383&33&3$3$3$3$3$3$3$3)3)3)3)3)33)3)3$3)3)3)33)3$373737336362626328834838272 in medical debt

Jeff… the competition is….. heating up

Mon dieu, of course I’m bad in bed and at cooking.

Free pear

I wore my hair in this style through high school, do I still deserve love?

Valentines candy goes on sale soon including Trolli sourbrite hearts

To my unnamed love. Happy Valentine’s Day. I remain impressed.

I’m going to go make a frozen UNO’s pizza and contact a corporate meditation app as someone who has never panicked in their life about security on skack

@aiunderscoreoli.bsky.social is there still a deep friendship here after years of speaking to each other?

Thank you 🙏

Jeff works at a magnet laser garage that will save the world, you’re fulfilled— you cannot tell me you’re not willing to let The Onion go employee owned now

Leila strikes me as the type of person to get over $1,000 back in a tax refund

Stellarator or Tokamak? Stellarator or Tokamak?

Sporcle: Comic book bad guys who own deep tech energy companies

The more I read and watch, the more I really love science on Jeff. He's glowing.

It actually includes a pretty cool laser

Ben “never-laughed-at-a-weird-meme-in-my-life-because-why” Collins

What’s Ben ramping up his press for?

Bryce always gave the most romantic statements for Valentine’s Day.

So basically, Ben is betting on Kat’s election and whatever I’m doing it is bettering the odds and making them a lot of money on the loss.

How many of you wouldn’t buy supermarket flowers? Yah. That’s going to change soon.

No that’s literally my boyfriend. Stop trying to set him up like this.

C/O Media

Throw pillow that says “ignore the rich man behind me”

We’re nearing the Democratic primary! Do I need to do anything or….

The day of reconning is upon us. Typos will be received now and you will gravel.

On the bright side I’ve been selected as the understudy for the district service checker competition. The woman who’s going is the reigning champ. I have very few details.

Kat’s like oh god it feels so good to fight people who barely make a living wage yay I’m a devil

Any people fighting tech fascism who need roommates?

This place is a circus, if you think you’re helping me but you’re going through Ben and Leila — don’t act like you don’t know, you’re just like them

This isn’t a fun political exercise, it’s my life.

A basement studio in a bad area if I can find one. A lead would be nice.

Good evening. God save me from men who introduce each other to other people.

It’s ridiculous that you can be so so good but still need to die because a blonde asshole hates you for telling the truth

It’s so awesome to know that the partner of a failed congressional candidate wants you dead. Like who does that.

My lease is up and the apartment I can afford is a $382 studio.

wWell, They , say That There is never a monday When you’re not thinking About Scott Kidder And Peter Thiel , But that Is almost never , the truth. Somehow these two are knotted together In history Like two loaves of bread That Man Shouldn’t Be Standing Next To Each Other On A Cloudy Thursday .

Hey did you hear about the news? Bsky has drafts now!

We keep asking how it happened as if the answer isn’t simply: it was profitable.

Debt collectors need a rebrand their SMS. This is an attempt to collect a debt. There’s an outstanding balance on your account. Not trying to stress you out, but we are trying to talk today. You’re not in trouble, but there is a balance and this is an attempt to collect a debt.

I’m tired I had to be at work at 5:20

Every SNAP tonight I’m going to create a bot that outlines how hard it is to get/keep SNAP food stamp benefits in today’s America

What’s up? These are things I could do with Botnik. Please speak to Ben for further references as he wants me away from him