It’s me I’m the master killer

Hey shut the fuck up there’s new 100 Demons

Happy early birthday to me

Russell Mulcahy had an entire tale of a mummy. Does Lee Cronin? Didn’t think so

I have the most liked LB review of READY TO RUMBLE (2000) so think about how you talk to me

Cannon Watch #38: Nowhere near as bad as you’d be led to believe with it and the original swapping release order, but certainly not as exciting a film as the first, that one had the benefit of much better direction and M. Emmet Walsh. This is a perfectly serviceable POW action joint

Cannon Watch #37: This movie foolhardidly tries to have one foot in “message movie” mode, and the other in Cannon Exploitation mode. Being that this is Cannon in 1984, that message is uh, not great! Evil radiates off of this thing, but I gotta say, the exploitation part kinda rips

Cannon Watch #36: There really isn’t much of anything to say really. Not the least bit funny, the type of 80’s comedy that others did ten times better ten other times. Completely disposable and not worth mine or anyone else’s time

Cannon Watch #33: “Here is a movie that wants nothing more than to allow some high-spirited kids to sing and dance their way through a silly plot just long enough to make us grin.” That is a quote from Roger Ebert’s review and he is spot on. This movie puts a smile on your face that doesn’t leave

Cannon Watch #32: Cannon hit paydirt with this one, Chuck does his Chuck thing, and mows down half of Vietnam after completely demonizing them as a people. Joe Zito makes sure it’s as entertaining a slice of namsploitation as it can be, plus James Hong and M. Emmet Walsh are added pluses

Cannon Watch #32: A true cosmic gumbo of a film, and probably my favorite of the Cannon Ninja trilogy. While there isn’t as much Sho Kosugi in this as REVENGE, what you do get is an incredible about of ninja killing cops, ninja massacring a cop funeral, and James Hong, an 80’s trash classic

Cannon Watch #31: A half assed sequel that is so thoroughly plagued by massive reshoots/retooling to try and make it a semi coherent film. Horrible music, a sleepwalking Robert Ginty, and yet. A very charismatic Van Peebles and his cartoon gang of post nuke looking goons means I can’t hate this

Cannon Watch #30: Completely bowled me over. Made by a man told by dr’s that he had six months to live, and it shows with how raw and how unwieldy this all feels. Stuff in here made me so Incredibly uncomfortable. Gena Rowlands and Cassavetes on screen together tho? Magic, I can’t put into words.

Taking a page from @priscillapage.bsky.social’s book, the four words every guy wants to hear

I honestly believe you could make an argument that this is the finest – nay, PUREST – Cannon movie in existence when you sat down to watch a movie like this in 1983, you got EXCELLENCE...and guess what you get in 2026? that's right, bud: MUFUCKIN EXCELLENCE

Cannon Watch #29: Now this was enjoyable cheap sword and sorcery junk. Miles O’Keefe was junk as expected, but enjoyable junk. But the movie looked good for being as cheap as it is, and Connery was having a ball in his poison ivy costume and body glitter. Like EXCALIBUR if it cost $1.75

Sean Connery as the Green Knight out here with that teased hair and body glitter like he’s going to his first rave

Cannon Watch #28: Nothing really to write home about here. Sutherland is good as you would expect, it’s just no one else is given much to do, and even if they were, the Dave Brubeck score is so fucking out of place, completely negating any potential tension that the movie could possibly have

Cannon Watch #27: God yeah this is the kinda junk I love. Twists on twists on twists. Dirty cops and mob hits and Roger Moore having the worst couple days of his life. This is the kinda junk I live for tbh, half respectable cast in some of the most hair brained airport novel crap imaginable

Cannon Watch #26: Your typical slobs vs snobs stuff, Judd Nelson, bad! Very stinky in this movie. Really about the only times the movie comes anywhere near alive is when the Diceman shows up. He’s great. Otherwise this 80’a campus comedy is completely and utterly disposable

Cannon Watch #24: This movie is putting up Jordan flu game racism numbers my god. Brown face as far as the eye can see, like a half dozen times someone tries to SA Brooke Shields character, gobsmackingly awful film. Great Morricone score tho.

Cannon Watch #23: Jesus Christ. It tries to go for higher brow, but it’s still Cannon so it’s down in the mud but it ends up not being near enough of either end so it just rests in this void of nothingness. Maybe the longest 90 minute movie I’ve sat through in quite some time. Stinky movie

Cannon Watch #22: Every Menahem Golan movie is like if an alien tried to replicate American filmmaking. He could always get these great casts and get them to act as though they’ve never acted in a movie before. For that alone I salute him.

Cannon Watch #21: Movies fucking rule when they got karate and throwing stars. Sho Kosugi rocks, and he whips ass all over the place. First ballot video store hall of famer right here folks. Get yourself a Pepsi and some pizza and this is the best movie you’ll ever see

This shit sucks so bad. Hardlore had gotten me back into Hardcore in such a big way and Bo was a big reason for that, and his bad Harms Way fucking rule. RIP

Cannon Watch #19: That’s the good stuff. Cozzi has a way to take the jankiest shit you’ve ever seen and make it so fun and such an easy breezy watch. Let’s take Hercules and make him fight stop motion robots and basically do Star Wars and Superman for $5. Bless this stupid movie

Cannon Watch #18: Perfectly fine little spooky house movie and then there’s that booty cheeks ass ending. Was enjoying hanging out in the creaky old house with the horror legends up until that point. Still worth a watch for the significance alone, but temper any expectations.

Cannon Watch #17: Hey so what if we take a detour and do the Richard Speck murders in this Chuck Bronson cop thriller? Movie rocks, dripping sleaze, journeymen legend J. Lee Thompson directs the hell out of this, an early high water mark for Cannon

This barely scraps above TV movie of the week quality, but even so it’s not without its charm of this hunk of Gabagool who just wants to see his kid and is treated like shit by almost everyone after getting out of the joint. Can’t believe this guy went on to make BREAKIN 2

Cannon Watch #15

Cannon Watch #14: Very very stagey, but it was cool to see this group of actors do some capitol A Acting. The Expendables of every dude who peaked in HS and never left their home town

When someone catches you eating cheese out of the fridge at 3am

This was a hoot! BenDavid Grabinski has made a wild ass action comedy that actually had me laughing and giggling, that doesn’t happen much anymore, but this movie did it. Crazy good HK inspired action, great soundtrack too, wish so bad I could have seen this on the big screen

Cannon Watch #13: This was not great. It is easy to see why Cannon fired Mattei from doing the HERCULES that was filmed right after this. Completely listless SEVEN SAMURAI knockoff in sword and sandal dressing. At least there is a nice full body burn stunt during the climax, that’s about it

Cannon Watch #12: The movie that would be the real turning point for Cannon and the direction they would end up taking. Takes the first film and somehow ups the sleaze and depravity tenfold. Bronson is already 700 years old by 1982 and think about how many more films he’d do for Cannon

Cannon Watch #11: Much like SEED OF INNOCENCE, X-RAY is a slasher movie made by aliens who don’t know how things like hospitals and tension work. It’s like if HALLOWEEN 2 was actively making fun of itself. All that said, I can’t help but dig its alien charms. It’s just so fucking weird

Cannon Watch #10: Leon Issac Kennedy is giving his all here, starring and writing the script for this, it’s just that it is every single solitary sport and boxing movie cliche rolled into one single movie. It does have the benefit of having Muhammad Ali in a small role, but it’s too cliche

Cannon Watch #9: Incredibly charming in that particular Cannon fashion. Franco Nero doing his awkward white dude karate and being doubled 90% of the time AND the hilarious dubbing. Christopher George doing WHATEVER his performance is, which is fantastic. Perfect hangout with the buds movie

Cannon Watch #8: Really neat early 80’s LA time capsule, new wave and punk meets HALLOWEEN. Loved too that it’s structured more like a police procedural with 99% of the police procedural stuff cut out. Rocking theme song too. Pretty tent violence wise, but tbh it was fine without. Dug this.

This is what it's all about

Cannon Watch #7: So what if there was a dystopian disco futuristic Faustian musical that ended with the diplomatic immunity guy from Lethal Weapon 2 as Jesus in a giant Sky Cadillac and what if he starts the rapture. And what if watching all of that makes you feel like you’re having a stroke

When I see homie eyeballing the officer’s sidearm

Cannon Watch #6: Hahaha! This is so silly. This is 100% a slapstick silly movie anchored by Oliver Reed doing his own brand of silly. Also like 70% of this lit like an Argento? Maybe I’m an easy mark but this was exactly my brand of silly and dumb and I enjoyed this quite a bit

Cannon Watch #5: Lmao my god, it’s like aliens crash landed on 42nd street and tried making a Grindhouse Lifetime movie. Just insane choice after insane choice. TK Carter and Vincent Schiavelli show up and knock out some small roles, and there’s some great early 80’s scuzz NYC locations.

Cannon Watch #4: Some choice sleaze here. Black leather gloved killer is offing members of Klaus Kinski’s therapy group, our main lady is getting obscene phone calls, and Kinski is banging his patients. If you love your giallos extra trashy, SCHIZOID will be your bag

So I’m giving myself a little personal watch project, gonna do my best to watch everything Cannon Films put out once Golan and Globus took the company over, starting with 1980. So far…..Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood was a fun campy watch but those other two were real real bad.