hope everyone‘s freezing their ass off like I am right now

Rediscovering Argybargy - just wow

For no particular reason I googled “chance of being struck by lightning while golfing”. AI confidently informed me a risk of 1:250,000 and, best of all, cited as a source “a post on Facebook”.

This is just a reminder that people will look you straight in the eye, and with deepest sincerity tell you something that is absolutely wrong. So yes, I can bypass my pin and use my credit card like it’s 1980.

Me to me: everything doesn’t have to be a power chord.

I have this neat thermometer - hygrometer that I used to monitor the room where I store my acoustic guitar. Thought occurred that I should measure the backyard. And at the moment I became my dad.

I think building a time machine and traveling to the end of this year so that I can watch the finale of stranger things without fear of any spoilers is a perfectly reasonable aspiration.

Thinking back when both my parents “quit” smoking, only my dad snuck them in the shed and my mom in the basement. So what could they really do when as a teen I raided both their stashes.

Really is there anything worse than thinking “Dill” and it’s actually “Bread and Butter”

Here I am just minding my own business, listening to my same ol playlist and BOOM, motherfukin Avril Levigne.

I will use my last bit of energy to say Hi to all you weird and wonderful people. But mostly the weird ones for I am one too.

I hear Spotify has a new policy. For every stream the artist pays them $0.05. Ok that’s BS, but not far from the truth.

Was disassembling an old gas welder, a nut on one of the hoses wouldn’t budge. Longer wrench, nope. WD40, nope. Rage threw everything in the trash. Next day took out of trash and left it on garage floor. Next day thought “maybe it’s righty loosey, lefty tighty” which it was.

“You couldn’t find your mouth with a 5 dollar pizza” More Kojak wisdom.

Starbucks soundtrack for spring 2025: Naughty by Nature, no really.

Finally got around to making a Spotify playlist of my songs. Now I can stream them in my car with commercials 🤣

I believe some of you need to see a puppy inspecting a blade of grass.

“Whatcha gonna do baby now that the roast beef’s gone?

So apparently I wrote this awesome cool jazz song about ten years ago. Forgotten on a hard drive, has one of my better attempts at bass. Getting blisters just listening to it.

With much practice I will soon be able to create the perfect anti-viral post. A post so banal you won’t even know it happened.

Sold my ME80, I really only used the Tera Echo and Phaser. What are you fav guitar pedals?

“Sleep for dinner in the underground” for some reason that is echoing through my brain rn.

I will devote the remainder of my scientific career to developing a gum that starts off tasting like painter’s putty and becomes more flavorful the longer you chew.

There’s a chance my social security contributions are subsidizing a PBR-drinking boomer in a double-wide in Chugwater, Wyoming. And I say chug on brother.

The full version of this song comes out 3/20!

Used to have this awesome song on a cassette tape and just figured out it was Jon Hendricks. Jazz vocal pioneer. His delivery here stuck in my brain for years. youtu.be/CFCXDhaVEdM?...

Think I saw my mental health on the side of the road today.

If you are a drummer ask yourself: are you doing your part to bring back the roto-tom?

When you win Bluesky you get promoted to Onion.

I’ve never looked so dumb as at the end of the Webex meeting and my goofy face stares into the camera looking for the leave meeting button.

My college philosophy professor brought up the 1982 classic Sophie’s Choice at every possible opportunity. What do you expect from someone with a devastating crush on Meryl Streep.

Mods: please add a megaupvote. Sometimes a single heart will not suffice for some of the inspired posts from the ppl on this app.

At what age is it appropriate that you ask your dog to pay rent?

I’m a frog but instead of slowly boiling water it’s throw pillows.

OK then, these posts aren’t gonna shit themselves.

I open the oven and a rush of superheated air nearly singes my corneas. In three days I will completely forget this experience.

🎶All I want for Christmas…🎶. Too soon?

I remember 20 years ago liking this song by Lit “My own worst enemy”. Luckily I found an FM station that plays it 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Singer in a cover band I was in told a long story about how he would never in a million years trade his skates for weed. As a Canadian teen skates are like a part of your essence so we all agreed. Next practice, “Hey Skippy, sell your skates yet” Skippy: “Yep”.

Found my high school yearbook, us dudes were right out of Hawkins.

Used to sing through an ungrounded amp. If you weren’t in rubber soles and your lips touched the mic ⚡️⚡️⚡️

You are all invited to my next guitarbeque🍔

If Kafka were alive I’m sure he’d love to write about my metamorphosis from a pasty, out-of-shape couch potato to a slightly older pasty, out-of-shape couch potato.

MS one drive is the spawn of satan

Back end of this cigarette and bottom of the bottle. Low on gasoline and heavy on the throttle. Just need few more of these, a bridge, some music and I may have something 😀

Is anyone reading this is in 2025? Oops my bad, thought I opened YouTube app.

Why have one pair of guillotine earrings when you can have two?