disassociating for christmas

😍😍😍 she's all mine. gimme 6 months & i'll be performing an acoustic version of the eras tour

i'm having a rough go as christmas nears. it's my first since my grandpa passed & since confronting many sources of trauma in my childhood. i'm feeling like a grinch on the best days. on the worst, i'm hoping for a sink hole to open & swallow me in one gulp. trying just to feel it & not avoid it 🫠

social media is a minefield rn for survivors of sex abuse, in childhood & otherwise, w/ the epstein files being shared often w/o content warnings. it can be difficult to hold two truths: yes, its important the files are public AND it can be massively triggering. i see you, i'm with you, i love you 💕

i wish crying wasn't so socially taboo bc i cry every time i feel a strong emotion like why does something have to be wrong i'm just EMO

obligatory im not watching eps 3 & 4 of the doc til tonight or maybe tomorrow. i'll continue using my prev reaction thread

love holiday party day bc i'm in driving my lil buick in a santa dress giving motherfuckers in big trucks the finger for not following traffic rules

wdym the giver is on obama's top music of 2025 list bc 🤣🤣🤣

got emo thinking about speak now (the song) through the lens that it's about being brave enough to shout your love for someone even when everyone around you will hate you for doing it, for ruining "the wedding" & knowing that but taking the risk anyway.

nothing says ADHD like forgetting whether or not you took your stimulant

i watched the docuseries about dryden, NY (village of the damned, it was on tubi) and i can't stop thinking about it. a decade of death & violent destruction from '89-'99. i can't find data on 2000-2010 but from 2011-present - not a single murder. i'm utterly fascinated. its stephen king shit

i think JT's "this is going to ruin the tour" is on my top memes of the 2020's list so far

HAPPY 250TH JANE AUSTEN I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON BC YOU WROTE PRIDE & PREJUDICE

oh thats new for me. i'm in too bad of a mood to even watch the football game.

my wife is currently working 10 hour shifts, 7 days a week and ngl i am having a hard time 🙃

i dislike winter bc i hate how many more things i have to put on to leave. thick socks, boots, parka, scarf, gloves, hat. don't forget if it snowed overnight you have to brush off your car. & it's cold so you gotta wait til your engine warms up to leave. my executive functioning would rather Not.

she's lowkey teaching entire generations the apparently lost art of catharsis through art catharsis in this sense was first recorded by Aristotle in the Politics & Poetics, 'comparing the effects of music and tragedy on the mind of a spectator to the effect of catharsis on the body' poets🤝politics

i just remembered that this is her first birthday where she owns her masters 🥺

lolz my insurance company stopped covering my vyvanse. i hate this piece of shit country

the skirt is oranger than timothee chalamet & kylie jenner at his most recent movie premiere

i'm impressed w the doc so far. its everything i thought and wanted it to be. the mention but not mention of politics in ep 1 (one of her musicians i think says not to get too into it but the world is divided & she's creating a space without that or smth) is something of a thesis to the whole thing

if you consider that this show will prob be watched by mostly teen girls with their parents and adults with their partners of all gender/racial/religious identities you can see how she focuses on unity not division & infuses her “liberal” values into the storytelling w/o it being framed as political

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL

okay i finished the first two eps. a) i love her b) she was meant to be a peformer c) i love her crew & how much they love her d) her heart lives in millions of tiny pieces left with each fan. i'm more convinced than ever that her relationship to her fans is the greatest love story in her life

amanda seyfried coming out as socialist was not on my 2025 bingo card but i'll take it. that's MY sophie sheridan!!

highkey glad i'm watching by myself bc i've had to pause 3 times already in the first 3.5 minutes to scream my thoughts. it's going to take me all day to watch 2 eps 😂

okay i'm finally starting the docuseries. consider this to be my live reaction thread. all reactions will be posted as a reply to this bloop so mute it if you're looking to avoid details. 🧵:

1989 you say? oh i'm so sure

trying so desperately hard to avoid spoilers but like she's so pretty i just want to look at her face

HI HI HI HI HI EVERYONE ITS DOCUSERIES DAY I KNOW I DIED BUT IM HERE HELLO I MISSED YOU ALL this month has been so busy at work i couldn't have distractions but i had to come back for doc discussion. im at work now but i have an early day & will be watching it as soon as i arrive home

me, walking to my office in a dress even tho its 33° outside, winds are howling, & i can no longer feel my legs bc this is my second time making this trip bc i forgot my phone: is this what the donner party felt like?

need to desperately catch up on my tay-lore but man, i have been so emotionally exhausted & kinda caccooning for the last week or so. shit feels so heavy & i'm laid out flat under it y'all

i don't think toto is given nearly enough credit for how genius they were for making the lyric "sure as kilimanjaro rises like olympus above the serengeti" flow bc that is CLUNKY

transit sun, mercury, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, and pluto are all making aspects to my natal pluto & venus isn't far behind. i'm being bitch slapped 😭

so glad someone else said jack schlossberg looks like bryan kohberger so i didn't have to

listening to songs that i've skipped over for years bc i was afraid of the emotions they would make me feel & feeling free bc those emotions & my refusal to feel them doesn't control me any more.

i took a long break from writing bc i was using it to escape my real problems, not as a creative tool to help solve them, & that led to a toxic, unhealthy dynamic with my own creativity where it was all or nothing. i think i'm ready to dip my toes back into it. softly, gently, with no expectation.

my anxiety & imposter syndrome is so bad right now i am convinced every person i work directly with secretly thinks i'm stupid & incapable.

supreme court will not hear kim davis' bullshit case. a win, for now.

work is about to get so busy for the next like two months pls send good vibes 🫠

celebrating mamdani's win, sean ryan's win, passing of prop 50, and any local election wins this cycle that remind us we're still in this fight across all levels 💞

just read a description of ceres in libra that stabbed me in the stomach 🫠 not to mention it's conjunct my sun & mercury lol

boston by augustana was the reaaon i wanted to move to boston from the ages of idk, 11-18? says a lot about how i grew up lol.

as a natal mercury retrograde bitch, i'm ready on my own behalf but scared at what it will do to others i must interact with 🫠

matthew lillard stay real i love that man, he's my scream king

my friend found this at home goods & surprised me with it yesterday 🥰 she sent a pic earlier in the day & i immediately clocked it was lover era from her hair 🤣

just discovered 3oh!3 put out an album in 2021 called need & it's taking me right back to 2009. the nostalgia is crushing.

listening to florence's new album. boy, am i taypilled. one of the greats surely is something

hah hi everyone i took a smöl break & then forgot my password for a while but hi i am here what did i miss

lowkey annoyed that therapy made me a less judgmental person cause lowkey sometimes i just wanna be a hater.