@kos9192.bsky.social I've been a busy bee all day, but I'll be online at 8 a.m. my time (11 a.m. your time) if you want to record Episode V: The Search for Arlen.

Radio commercials be like: 🎵 "Do you want a career that shapes your future?? Fucked-up Call Center Bullshit is hiring!"

Pokémon GO Community Day as a free man compared to the last ten months playing while guarding a fuckin' outlet mall and peeing in a bucket FELT THERAPEUTIC AF. Zihuatanejo!! 🥹 Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

My son finally made a grown-up email address and we spent time moving his digital stuff off my email. I found out he gave all his friends profiles on Crunchyroll. Super glad none of them ran amok of my credit card! 😳

I'm in "cell loss" jail for 15 min. The return tube at my plasma donation had a hole in it, and the stuff meant to come back to me sprayed all over the machine. Still got paid. Plus a free Gatorade. ENJOY THE RECESSION, PLEEBS!!

ME: I love you. SON: OK. 🧔🏻♥️🎮👦🏻

Gopher tortoise is the real MVP. Its burrows shelter over 350 other animals. Frens, we can have Gopher tortoises or we can have Facebook and Amazon Prime. ⌛️🐢 #Delete #Unsubscribe planet-wildlife.com/2026/05/08/c...

I slam this Pokémon wallet down and say, "If you're Team Instinct, the drinks are on me!" 👏🍺 And everybody claps.

Be me texting my son this morning... ME: I'm off all day so let me know when to pick you up. Be my son texting me this afternoon... SON: When are you picking me up??

I sent my Ex-Neighbor Ex-Girlfriend some stickers of our badges that we give to kids. She sent back a topless selfie wearing them like pasties. Welp. Not sure what I expected! Don't ever change, fren. 🤣👸🏼

I've kinda turned a blind eye to Google because it's so ingrained in our lives and work, but HOLY SHIT! Billionaires VS. Earth! Whose side are we on??? www.thatprivacyguy.com/blog/chrome-...

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Got my shower curtain at Ross. Pooping at Target. It's tradition. 🖕🎯

I received a shiny Raikou from a lucky trade with a Bluesky fren (I parted with a Galarian Articuno), then caught a wild Shiny Drilbur. Never tired of winning! #PokemonGO

IS LIFE JUST A GAME OF MUSICAL CUCK CHAIRS?? 🎵🪑🪑🪑🪑💰 If you haven't already, delete Facebook, cancel Amazon Prime, and mute opportunistic libs for posting Elon-X-Musk screenshots on Bluesky.

🥳💃🏽🎯 DOES THE FUN EVER START??

Welp. www.azfamily.com/2026/05/07/a...

I had to buy a police-style clipboard for work, so I got my son one, too. Maybe he could put his own drawings or his Comic Con autographs in it. I hope he likes it because it wasn't cheap!

😭 Why would the trans-lacrosse players do this to me???

Last night, after I parked my rig and put my bulletproof vest in my locker, an established officer said, "Goodnight, Kinkade." 🥲💕 They... consider me part of the force.

ENJOY THE RECESSION, PLEEBS!!! 🩸🩸 Ka-ching!! 🍺🍔 ¡Hamburguesa, por favor!

THREE DAYS OFF START NOW, BABY! I'm exhausted from saving puppies from the cartels and other stuff I won't be able to share except in future memoirs. 🖐🧴 🍺🍔 📺😴

Baby birds! Look at this @bestifyoudont.com

ALASKA JUST FREAKED TF OUT LMAO!! 🏭🌞🧊💦⛰️"Researchers state that a major cause of this tsunami is the glacier’s retreat." If you haven't already... WHY??? I mean, delete Facebook and cancel Amazon Prime. www.alaskasnewssource.com/2026/05/06/a...

Be homeless fren at the park watching TV.

Got myself an horchata ube latte - Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

LEARNING NEW SHIT WAS EASIER 20 YEARS AGO! 😭

BOTH MY PROPOSED POKÉSTOPS HIT THE MAP!! I saw them as I drove to work. That corner is my new hangout spot. #PokemonGO 🔥🔥🔥 My day off (Thursday) is gonna be lit!

Thank you for joining the resistance! #DeleteFacebook #CancelAmazonPrime #NoBillionaires #NoDataCenters #SaveEarth #ProtectKids

Be me rookie dog cop catching a bat inside a rich couple's home with veteran dog cop last night. Rich old guy pulls out a money clip. VETERAN: No, sir. We're already paid from your taxes. ME: Bro doesn't speak for me!!

I only caught one Pokémon all day, but it was a shiny Smeargle. #PokemonGO

This mural appeared under a bridge in my neighborhood where an RV exploded into flames a few years ago (nobody died). Now with photo! #OneGoodThing #PublicArt

TIRED! My dedicated field trainer for the next 3 months kept me out past 11 p.m. Another officer warned me he's kinda an Autistic super cop, and I'll handle things quicker on my own some day. We secured a vicious dog at the edge of the county, but he wanted to visit all the victims and past owners.

My son is really fuckin' procrastinating on this...

Last few haircuts, I've been like, "Cut an inch off the back, but leave the front alone," and the various lady stylists were like, "Noo how about half an inch off the back and a quarter inch off the front cuz hair health blah blah." Gay dude today was all, "Fuck yea! Easiest cut I'll give all day."

LMAO AT HOW OVER IT IS!! 😂 We're in the "put a bandaid on this problem to buy two more years" stage. www.latimes.com/environment/...

HOLY SHIT! The plasma clinic offered me an extra ten bucks to get a tetanus shot before donating!! ENJOY THE RECESSION PLEEBS!!!

Be me donating plasma despite physical exhaustion because my son needs Comic Con money.

😂 LMAOOO! MFW humanity is swirling the drain, but other countries are at least swimming against the swirl while the US zooms by, shouting, "Winning!" www.npr.org/2026/05/01/n...

Nobody meowed who I was until I put on the mask.

Bought a piece of glorious art and thought you might enjoy, @bestifyoudont.com - hopefully you will not have to contend with an errant swarm in your line of work.

Respect. Attention seeking? Sure. But, at least he did something besides go to work and order Amazon boxes (both of which fund the MAGA agenda). www.commondreams.org/news/guido-r...

I’m all set up at Indigo Sudbury! Come on by and say hi. I’m here until 4.

My son asked me to wake him up early because he has to record a music video for his American Sign Language final. I set out a tripod and a sheet with some push pins. I'll wake him up and get out of his way soon.

Amazon is rumored to be rebooting 'The Apprentice' with Donald Trump Jr. If you haven't already, delete Facebook, cancel Amazon Prime, and mute libs who post screenshots from X on Bluesky for outrage points. The general strike is the only peaceful and effective tool of an aggrieved proletariat.

¿¿Es amistoso su animal??

I dehydrated myself this week so I could sit in training without breaking to pee an embarrassing number of times, and it culminated in cloudy vision and the biggest headache ever last night. Why tf did we leave hunter-gathering societies where every bush was the bathroom??

I mean, honestly, we should just rise up already so our children don't have to. Like, I don't wanna be maimed in combat either, but we're passing that sentence onto our kids and grandkids. Why?? #GeneralStrike www.nytimes.com/2026/04/30/o...

M-O-O-N that spells Moon 🌴🌕🌴