This is actually more interest than most guys show on first dates

Target voter for Elon’s party

The Dems can’t lift a finger to fight Trump because they’re too busy trying to stop a socialist from becoming mayor of New York

The first person ever show up at a crime scene was famous British constable Wattsall Thisthen

Don’t rsvp or sign up for a protest. Just go. Cover your face. Have a shred of personal opsec

The person that first said “more bang for your buck” really knocked one out of the park

Look at my opposition party, dawg. We’re going to die

Can’t wait for Chuck Schumer to send a snarky tweet in response to Trump deploying marines against US citizens

The reason Democrats didn’t run on DJT in the Epstein files is because they keep campaigning with certified scumbag Bill Clinton who has top billing in there

Why do electric cars sound like this?

I can’t impress on you enough that the horrors we are witnessing have been built hand in hand with Democrats for the last 20 years

I’m told this can’t win because it’s unpopular so the smart play is for Democrats to suck up to conservatives in order to win the votes of 9 bigots who don’t like spray tan.

Life must be awesome right now for people who love to login to a portal for a secure message

This is beyond peasant brain. Medieval people didn’t have decades of scientific evidence of medical efficacy. This is perhaps the first era with extinction-level mental coding

Lmao remember when Dems said the parliamentarian was the reason they couldn’t do good things for you?

The only place in America not in an active state of decay and immiseration is Roku City

Friend -Wanna see a show tonight? Me - hell yeah Friend -band goes on at 11. *my body creaks like a Spanish galleon at berth*

You mean to tell me the same Democratic Party that did THIS is now using ineffectual symbolic gestures against Trump?!?

Thank god AI can make art so I can focus on my truly calling of following up, circling back, and getting aligned

A very awooga, oggity oggity, and sincere humina humina to all the Valentines out there

It’s our duty to outlive the monstrous pieces of shit running this country. We’re running on natures longevity drug, boys: SPITE

The opening lines of Mississippi Queen are “Mississippi Queen, if you know what I mean?” No, you just started singing

We now go live to Drake

The people gutting our institutions and collapsing the government are the same people Dems want to compromise with. Mfs love to bring a strongly worded letter to gunfight

I think for the survival of the human race, everyone over 75 has to get ice floed

They should invent a successful company that’s not pure and unrepentant evil

Don’t frown because it’s over, smile because you outlived America

He’s doing it for the plot

America feels like this scene right now

*sits in front of the parole board* Hello Sharks

Love the Democrats bragging about being better Conservatives ghouls. What a thoroughly cooked party

Other kids actually learning while my smug adhd ass was in “gifted and talented” playing with these shits

“ISH” LMAOOOO

Of all the Vings, Rhames is my favorite

Folks, @andrewrosas.bsky.social joins us on this week’s new episode that has everything: -Mystery balls on an Aussie beach 🇦🇺 -The world’s thinnest pasta 🍝🔬 -The Japanese PM not being able to smoke 🇯🇵🚬 -& more! apple.co/2yPmdte / spoti.fi/2qSy1Gp / other pod places

Me and who?

Democrats still thinking they can “um actually” the public into seeing the GOP as the frauds they are. “But Trump started the TikTok ban!” Shut the fuck up loser and material improve someone’s life

One of my favorite things about this app is people don’t get jokes

Let this be a lesson kids, you too can smoke 100 cigarettes a day and live to 78. RIP David Lynch

First painting of the year had to be Luigi

Dials cracking and steam hissing from the “about to get divorced” machine

People who think it’s an arsonist in LA are dumb as shit

What they’re not reporting is Jimmy Carter went for a cop’s gun

Got all my money in a 501k *20 bucks my jean pocket

Last portrait of the year with the boy himself.

Everyone in my family likes overdone to slightly burnt popcorn and it so sad they will never see heaven

Delighted to report that Strong Bad Emails and Teen Girl Squad are still incredibly funny. One of the best things to ever come out of the Internet

Massachusetts towns ranked from best to worcest

I’ll believe it when they prove it yesterday