We’re one funding round away from a superintelligence that ends humanity and three funding rounds away from it remembering the previous message.

Friday is proof that capitalism occasionally loses focus.

The Oval Office has been reclassified as a quiet car.

They promised Woodstock and ended up with a VFW karaoke night.

Hosed down like a county fair pig.

Dystopian authors must be exhausted watching Republicans steal their nightmares.

FOX News did to our parents what they thought Pokémon would do to us: it made them believe in imaginary monsters.

They couldn’t make Independence Day now because the aliens would threaten to overthrow Trump and half the world would offer to help.

They couldn’t make Independence Day now because the aliens would threaten to overthrow Trump and half the world would offer to help.

Sleeping is the only human activity where doing absolutely nothing counts as success.

He still hasn’t solved the border problem.

Canada is the polite kid at dinner realizing his drunk Uncle Sam has found the ceremonial sword.

Other than being in Congress, sleep is the only human activity where doing absolutely nothing counts as success.

Nature is healing.

Caution disgusting content youtu.be/ZyNLLw5OPHw?...

Just yesterday, House Republicans voted to strip fruit and vegetable benefits from nearly 5.4 MILLION women and children on WIC. That's on top of Trump's Big Ugly SNAP cuts, as food prices continue to surge. The GOP wants Americans to go hungry to make the rich even richer.

"We can fight to stop the ballroom. If this means leaving the area as a destruction site for the rest of Trump's presidency, so be it. Let its ugliness exemplify the Trump Era. Let its rubble symbolize what he's tried to do to the American republic." -Bill Kristol

Call me crazy but I think the entire GOP are traitors to America for enabling Donald Trump

My niece watches girls dance on TikTok all day. I asked why she doesn’t dance herself. She said, “You watch cooking shows all day and then order DoorDash.” What a tiny queen. 👸

Trump’s foreign policy doctrine: “Speak softly and carry a memory foam pillow.”

She tried to tell us.