If you put a third person on stage with Nicki and Erika, that’s what’s known as a “minaj à twats”

Are you going to read Wuthering Heights before the movie comes out or are you just going to skim the Heathcliff’s Notes?

Shamelessly riding Jonathan's coattails to say @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social also has signed copies of GOD'S JUNK DRAWER and THE BROKEN ROOM. (same deadlines apply!)

I went bird watching today and I saw two birds stuck together. I was excited because you rarely see velcrows these days.

If you’re going to eat the rich be sure to start with a few bouillonaires as a base for your cooking.

“So you’re just giving AI the IP?” “Yup.” “And people will be able use it freely?” “Well, we would never give away IP freely.” “Never ‘what’ your IP?” “Freely. Give away IP freely.”

If Hamlet were alive today and posting on social media, he’d say something whack and then a bunch of reasonable people would try to correct him in the comments. He’d get Horatio’d so hard.

Calling a stranger “daddy” in public is a faux pa.

Some subgenres can be a bit confusing to keep track of. For example, two people falling in love in nature and two people falling in love after spending the night in jail for protesting the government are both very different stories. Yet they’re both still Henry David Thoreaumances.

If you want SIGNED COPIES of any of my books in time for Christmas, order by 12/15 from @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social -and request priority mail! Here's the link: mystgalaxy.com/search?q=Jon... #mysteriousgalaxy #signedbook #indiebookstore

When you come check out our books, we’re not going to judge how you browse. You can lowbrowse. You can highbrowse. If you only want to look at one book, we’re totally fine with unibrowsing. We won’t browsebeat you.

I wish I had been older when they decided Pluto was no longer a planet because I would have written the sickest orbituary for it.

If every 2024 House race shifted by the same margin as Aftyn Behn did tonight in Tennessee’s 7th district (12.56 points at time of writing this), Democrats would have won 31 more House seats, giving them a 243-192 majority.

You can’t convince me that DJs aren’t a little salty that “spinsters” was taken already.

Next time I go to Costco I hope to get a completely oversized tort from their bakery, damages in bulk, an absurdly box of oversized writs crackers, some delicious samples from the exhibits, and a wholesale injunction against these tariffs.

I named my fists R2-D2 and C-3PO, because these are not the hands you’re looking for, and if you’re smart you’ll go about your business and move along

I’m just an independent bookstore, standing in front of a calendar, asking it how the f@$k is it December already!?

Right this very moment, our tax 💵 are paying for some little dipshits in the White House to type out as many racist, blasphemous prompts as they can into the free version of ChatGPT to create their awful social media propaganda and I just hate this timeline.

Am I a little mad that the past tense of ‘belittle’ isn’t ‘waslittle’? I don’t want to say because I’m afraid you willlittle me.

SO HEY IT'S SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY Could I perhaps take a moment of your time to tell you about a couple of great little bookstores? I got to visit all of theme recently while doing my up-and-down the coast signing tour and they're all pretty fantastic.

Let's start here in San Diego with @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social Like the name says, they're a sci-fi/ mystery/ fantasy/ horror shop with a fantastic selection and a wonderful staff. They also get SO many visiting authors so they have lots of signed books (and they ship pretty much anywhere)

Me: “I just don’t understand why no one likes my main character.” Her: “Which one?” Me: “The fungus covered one with the ashen complexion and a disdain for spit-roasted meats.” Her: “Please don’t say it…” Me: “Everyone LOVES a Morelly Grey Anti-Gyro.”

In San Diego, you can order from or visit @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social for several signed books by me. See what's in stock: mystgalaxy.com/search?q=Jen...

It’s truly staggering the racism coming out of the DHS. These m@ster-r@ce-dipwads think they’re so superior yet their “culture” is so fragile it can’t withstand anything but whitewashed homogeneity. Until further notice, it will be referred to as the Department of Homeland Insecurity.

*walks into work wearing a tux* “How come no one else dressed up for Black Tie-Day?”

Small Business Saturday is tomorrow! If you’re looking for bookish gifts, come check us out! We’ll have: - a scavenger hunt with prizes! - giveaway books! - a $15 off coupon for every $100 spent! - snacks! - Blind Date with a Book featuring a surprise holiday gift inside!

I’m thankful today for all the book-loving, indie-bookstore-supporting authors, readers, and publishers out there. Thank you for being part of our stories so we can be part of all yours.

I can’t wait to celebrate the release of Cosplayed to Death: A Suddenly French Mystery by Elle Jauffret at @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social next month!! Join us for an in-person event on Dec 6 at 2pm. Attendees will get swag with a purchase! mystgalaxy.com/12625Jauffret #newbook #SoCal #SanDiego

Does your book require a semicolon? You’ve gotta remove the appendix first.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but someone who’s job is to procure magical items is a sourcerer, right?

In October, we promised to donate 2% of our sales for the month to help San Diego County teachers build diverse classroom libraries for their students. With schools being ground zero for book banning across the country, it's more important than ever for everyone-

Shoutout to @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social in San Diego!

Hi 👋 I’m an independent bookstore specializing in sci-fi and fantasy, but at this point RFK Jr.’s CDC has more science fiction and fantasy than me. So I guess it’s up to me to tell you:

At least a small part of MTG must be mad she can’t create her own Greene Party. She Jill be Steinied again.

SoCal readers, you can support independent bookstores this holiday season AND get signed books by me from Underdog Bookstore in Monrovia and @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social in San Diego!

It’s a 🚩 if he’s never around to give you a hairy shoulder to cry on when you need it. Don’t settle for a wherewolf, find yourself a theretherewolf.

Picked up a signed copy of GOD’S JUNK DRAWER by @peterclines.bsky.social at @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social for my #TBR stack. This looks excellent! #newbook #bookrec #scifi

On this Trans Day of Remembrance, we remember all the trans folks who have passed away due to violence. Trans people and their stories will always have a place and be celebrated in our store.

If you support this independent bookstore I can, at the very least, promise that we will not be donating any of that money to help build current or future presidential ballrooms.

I don’t get how anyone could think AI is a bubble that will burst when tech industry headlines constantly talk about how great the humans are at replacing humans at certain jobs—wait, what?

Someone in the not-too-distant future: “It’s funny how many people remember that wrong. It’s actually called the Mandala Effect.”

Not everything starts as a double entendre. Some happen naturally. See: Head of State.

The parts of the story that authors have to edit out make up what scholars refer to as the ne’errative.

I just don’t have time to read all of these Trump-Bubba jokes. I’ll have to save them fellater.

If he were a 15 year old girl, Megyn Kelly would have insisted on calling her Adult Rock.

When you get an upset stomach thinking about how the last ten years of your life have been subject to the whims of a terrible human being hellbent on fleecing the taxpayer and escaping accountability, the only medicine that can help is Klepto-Bysmal.

Customer: “I’m sorry, I found these shoes on the shelf. Are they supposed to be there?” Me: “Not again! Thanks for letting us know, we’ve had a real problem with interloafers lately.”

“I have eaten the papers that were in the lockbox and which you were probably saving from oversight Pardon me; they were suspicious so replete with girls not old.” “This Is Just to Say, Mr. President” - An imagist update from FBI Director Kash Patel on the Epstein Files

Every Thanksgiving, something that goes “gobble gobble gobble” with a big old chin wattle gets pardoned at the White House. This is the first year it may not be a turkey.

TOMORROW! Get your signed book here mystgalaxy.com/event/2025-1... @mystgalaxybooks.bsky.social