I have completed the oral glucose tolerance test, which is a form of torture and should be outlawed

today the sonographer handed me an image of my baby’s genitals and said “heres a picture of her burger bun”

in general I don’t find neofeudalism to be a useful concept, but damn this week really has me feeling like a peasant bearing witness to conflicts between aristocrats. nobody gives a single fuck what I or any of the other peasants think of it. legitimation? of war? to the peasants???? lol. lmao

theo calls alice in wonderland “alison in wonderland” and whenever something crazy happens to her he chuckles and goes “oh alison, that’s so silly”

are the puffins on puffin rock catholic or protestant

they should make an episode of puffin rock where oona gets addicted to krokodil

theo (on toilet, mid-crap, playing with daddy’s apple watch): hmm mm mm daddy: theo can you stop playing with my watch please theo: EXCUSE me. I am trying to relax.

I'm pregnant and niecepilled

SHeep family

theo did a bush wee the other day and he was like "that's for the spiders to drink now. that's for the spiders. they will drink it" ok man

just had malatang and now I’m eating a mochi donut and drinking a sugar free strawberry and kiwi slurpee. might be about to get euthanised. stay tuned

I made barbecued greens with tonnato and pine nuts. definitely best dish of 2026 so far

I love my son all the time except at dinner time

Rupert says I’m a sicko for thinking that a song called Come on Shoes was about a guy cumming on some shoes

19 more weeks of feeling like total shite 100% of the time. then I’ll have a newborn and feel like a different type of shite 100% of the time for about 6 more months. then about 6 months after that I’ll start to feel ok again. sometime in 2029 it’ll be over for you hoes

fashun…

had a dream the baby was twin ducklings and I had to try and breastfeed them

so what the fuck is actually wrong with malinauskas. serious answers only

current favourite activity, listening to the enormous crocodile on yoto under the desk

last pregnancy I only craved fruit and milk, but this time, I saw this lady on tiktok shoving a log of butterkase into a roasted sweet potato and my eyes opened wide like saucers and I knew I had to have it right now now now now

love inventing new Xmas leftover combinations. cold roast potato with taramasalata. radish and brie. ham, chip and pesto

merry Christmas Eve from me, my son and my pandan butter bundt

when are they going to develop some proper fucking vaccines and medicines for viral illnesses. WHEN

if you're cooking your ham for an australian christmas you're a nutcase. hot sweet ham in 30 degree heat... no thank you

nobody has ever needed a medicinal cannabis prescription more than fox mulder

I had erased just enough of pregnancy from my mind that the avalanche of fucking constant bullshit, timewasting and torture from hospital prenatal care has come as a surprise to me

we moved into a house with a garage and I can feel myself becoming a boomer in real time. I'm filling up that motherfucker with bags of rubbish, old furniture, shit I can't be bothered to get rid of. closing the door. that's for my children to deal with when I'm dead

when I was pregnant with theo I'd listen to a birth stories episode and the guest would be like "my own birth experience really inspired me to become a (insert midwife, doula, birth-related profession)" and I'd nod and be like "yes, of course" now I think that is INSANEE COULD NOT BE MEEEEE

daughter is freaking out because someone on the school yard told her there’s a version of red light green light you can play where they kill you

it took three seasons but I now fully understand mulder. he knows unconsciously that his parents are monsters who allowed and covered up the abduction of his sister, but this knowledge is too painful to possess, so he must constantly seek other villains to blame

just used clear sky for the first time and found out someone I knew at uni and haven’t seen or thought about in over 15 years pre-emptively blocked me on here over a year ago. thrilled to have made such an impression!

it's great that all the people in my life I'm close to are slowly leaving sydney because it's too expensive to live here. I'm lovin it!

watching an x files episode where scully is triggered into paranoid psychosis by a mind control tv broadcast but mulder is immune. intriguingly and counter to what you’d assume at first blush this suggests mulder is the neurotic and scully is the psychotic in the dyad

I find it very funny that one of the main aus maternity clothing brands is called ripe. I know they mean like a fruit or whatever but every time I read it I'm like yeah, because pregnant and postpartum women fucking STINK. this bitch is RIPE (fanning my hand in front of my nose)

I can't believe smoking is cool and cheap again years after I quit. thinking of all that time I spent paying out the ass for expensive darts and sitting by myself in deserted smoking areas makes me sick to my stomach

love this scene where scully thinks mulder has been perpetrating slasher murders and she’s just like, Fuck my stupid chungus life

happy Halloween!!!

9 weeks pregnant.... time to eat instant noodles until I feel sick, then eat more instant noodles

Theo: I’m mummy and you’re Theo me: ok. I’m Theo. I love sharks and dinosaurs and mummy and daddy. and I love going to the park Theo: I’m mummy. it’s time to go and buy some crabs

It’s my boy’s first time at the big sheep nuts

when are they going to invent a sunscreen pill :( I've been wearing sunscreen every day for a few years now and it actually decreases my quality of life in a significant way :(

Trying to teach him to smile in photos

Telling Kevin Rudd that you don’t like him and demolishing a heritage building is maybe Trump living my dream?

it’s taken two and a half years but I think Theo is finally beginning to understand that if he closes his eyes, water will not get into them in the bath

god first trimester is the pits. I sleep 9 hours at night, have to have a mandatory 2 hour nap during the day, and I just feel like the walking dead. it feels like my mitochondria have stopped working, like I lack energy on a cellular level. I am a zombie

kid at the park: hey guys! who wants to play baby seal? it’s a really interesting game, someone has to die! (pointing at other kid) today that’s gonna be you!

just ate a ludicrously greedy serving of pasta alfredo for breakfast. so this is my second pregnancy announcement

a lot of people really think you can park in no stopping zones if you put your hazards on

theo: what's this? me: a packing pellet theo: where does it come from? me: the packing pellet factory theo (delighted): the packing pellet factory!! oh my gosh!! it come from the packing pellet factory. hooray!

I hate the smoking man, I hate him with my life, he does not leave mulder alone