Can I make my Final Four reservations now or what? My poor family had to listen to me sit here, watch the game on my phone, belch my head off out of anxiety, and shout “Get your damn rebound!” every few minutes. They were amused.

Nothing like Vols basketball to make me scream and cuss, even around the family. 🤪😂

When one of Virginia’s Dads starts using the words “crazy shit”, you know it’s bad.

I wish the people that did things to other people had to live with the weeks of nightmares after that trauma victims have to process while their brain breaks down what some people might consider run-of-the-mill conversations. No, wait, you were assholes. May karma come for you.

Lando series. They had better go through with it or I’m gonna riot. Donald Glover as Lando is a GIFT.

The best Star Wars is...

So I’ve changed the profile significantly. It was time. There are some people who no longer need to be able to have access to me, and this is the way I do that.

I think I just made one of the best pieces of graphic art I’ve ever made, and I’m so proud of myself and I wish the person who inspired it could see it. Fuck cancer.

Damn if this wasn’t a whole Ted talk. My brain LITERALLY rewired itself and I’m finally calling it what it was…two years of ABUSE. Son of a NUTCRACKER. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-...

Watching Joey chomp, y’all…🥹 Even if we had to see Pavia another year, can we keep Joey. 🥹😭😭😭

Hisssssssssss

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself? Or lead me to the garden? In the garden, would you trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anythin' But I know I miss you.

Watching Florida fans cuss their team and take off their jerseys warms the cockles of my cold heart. 🥰

PLEASE BEAT THE GATORS

Just when I think he can’t outdo himself…

🎵 “Join Ice” - @wellesmusic on Colbert

My fave and I have regrets about not buying it (but I LOATHE breakable ornaments was the koala and it was a “pretty cute koala” but “I don’t want no koala cuddlin’ up to me.” Damn it, Tyler…what have you done to me?! 💀🤣

If anyone had followed me through the Michael’s Christmas ornaments today, they would’ve wondered about my mental state. I only bought a bead box one for my Swiftie friend, but let me tell you…the lyric ones I COULD HAVE BOUGHT. Champagne bottles, cotton candy carts for Coney Island, and more.

Get on my heels in the Aldi special merch aisle one more time, and you might find yourself wearing what’s in your buggy, lady. Today is not the day. Let me buy my Christmas junk food. 🤣🤣

I hate doing my hair on weekends, so I just braided my wet curls. Will it work? Unlikely. But is anything worth a try in favor of being lazy on a weekend? Absolutely!

Listening to “Wind Behind the Rain” by Jason Isbell, and I’ve had so many people tell me I need to listen to him more. I’m sorry, but I can’t get into him at all. I couldn’t help but compare it to “Shake the Frost” lyrically, and I’ll take my Appalachian bard every time. In my dissertation, I will…

💀💀💀

We could keep Joey’s Abuela another year? Listen, I am Joey’s Grandma’s biggest fan. She reminds me of my grandma. 😂

Listen, Josh Allen will be fine. He’s not on my fantasy team so he’s not in danger DANGER. Unlike Joe Burrow, Xavier Worthy, Cam Skattebo, Garrett Wilson, and Marvin Harrison Jr. I WISH I was kidding. 😭😭😭

I have a LOT of opinions about this.

Taylor, can we talk?

I *actually* listened to my body and came home at halftime. After the virus I had earlier this week, I realized I am still not 100%. I only ate half my meal, and a Coke Zero made me get jittery soooo, yeah. Need some electrolytes in my water tonight and tomorrow. Kids, keep your germs at home.

Watching Rick Barnes teach during timeouts or when players come to the bench is a joy. But I also feel like my own behind is getting chewed too and I feel for them. 😂🤣😭😭

Dwayne and Jalen are becoming two of my favorites, and Jakobi is if Zakai and Jahmai had a brother.

As much as Ament wants to be one and done, he is not ready to be one and done. He needs two years. Camden Boozer, however, is ready. And I am saying that as a Tennessee fan from Nate’s home state who watched Camden’s dad play ball with a long love of college basketball.

Ethan gets called for a foul and looks like “I don’t know what I did.” Coach Barnes is like “Oh, I’ll tell you what you did.” 😆😂

I don’t know what Cade did that Rick didn’t like but I’m pretty sure when Cade just came out that Rick chewed him up and spit him out. OUCH.

Fastest turkey I’ve ever seen.

You know what? I love when TBA is half full and I can lean forward as much as I want and study the game and nerd out. 🤓 I miss my brothers. 🥺

Amaree Abram is on FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Our Smokey is the BEST, and I’m not just saying that because he helped make my little sister a video. He is the most genuine “dog”, and I’m pleased to have met him. Sweetest “dog” ever.

They really do not. And until they have to record songs off live radio, they will never pass a certain kind of musical test. 😂🤣

I love to watch parents take pictures of their kids at TBA and want to preserve those moments. I never had that kind of sports experience with mine, even at high school games. I don’t think it even occurred to them.

Tyler Childers is a got damn genius. Tyler, if I had the money, I’d own me a new cast iron skillet. You know Appalachian women well. A tea towel that says “She’s my gravy and my biscuits”? If a man bought me that, I’d marry him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Well, not really. But I’d think about it for five minutes. 💀

My therapist had to hear about my shitshow of a fortnight and she said and I quote “I was gonna say, HE HAD BETTER NOT HAVE COME BACK AGAIN.” 💀💀💀 She was RELIEVED to know it was other chaos. Let me tell you, when your therapist hates a man, he is sewage. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Rocket?

Just found out there’s been a geomagnetic storm. That explains a lot. Damn headache. Go away!

As someone from that end of Virginia who hates that institution with a PASSION, may I tell you what a Hokie is, James? Snip, snip, clip, clip, gobble, gobble.

Happy Life Day!

I want to tell every Bama fan that trolled me on TikTok to suck it and to sign up for AARP since they’re going to have to hear the relentless “Boomer” comments from Oklahoma fans now. 💀🤣🤣🤣

Y’all are making me thankful I chose to watch UVA and Duke.

I just discovered that my white chicken chili pairs better with chili cheese Fritos than it does with cornbread. Slow cookers are life giving.

That moment you hear the fake name he gave you called on “The Price is Right” and you effing CACKLE when you see the contestant. 💀💀💀 Dying, dead, and died. RIP, me. I’ll be snort laughing the rest of the hour.

I’m so damn grateful I get to live in the same timeline as Kelsea, Taylor, and Sabrina. Ladies, you have all given me gifts in this hellscape of a year.

Kelsea, thank you. You always know how to make me feel seen. Sitting in that park with you. Grateful for you, sis.