Every time I get my car checked out it is so much worse than it’s supposed to be

Yay a shooting star 🥰

Why do people frame stuff online as if someone died and the whole time it be something far less deep, like please quit playing around with these energies for sympathy, you know how that shit looks.

I hate the way every time they build something here it is redundant and unnecessary. You don’t need the same businesses in every small town because they’re not even far away to begin with. That 10-15 minute drive was not fucking anybody over fr.

Wrestling over the good bathroom, got me in here proving I’m strong as shit for no reason 😂

There’s another male stray cat that was around here a little while but hasn’t really been around since Charlie came back. Why has he come back only for me and my man to witness Charlie beat his ass twice. 😭

I will always laugh at people correcting others’ grammar while getting something wrong 🤭

When you get to really thinking about a song lyric and realize it’s funny, it’s never not funny again

Every time my sister comes on Thursday my mind mentally skips Friday and I wake up thinking it’s Saturday. Now I have a surprise day alone 🤩

People take a good thing too far but I guess there has to be a radical version of everything

She took that blueberry out her mouth and threw it at me, message received 😭

That disgusted face when the baby spits out something she don’t want 😂

It’s not a one-trick pony, it’s a multi-talented small-boned horse. 🙂‍↕️

Trying to hear through a thick accent is so hard for me and I just get sad because I deadass be trying so hard and I know the person on the other side of the line thinks I’m some bigoted asshole after the fifth “I’m sorry, what’d you say” and I can HEAR the person sigh ☹️

Finally figured out I can balance the heat in the rooms by opening and closing the right vents, my room was freezing

Ok. I’m making apple cobbler and I’m using envy apples which I have fallen in love with and secretly plan to marry. I told my mom about these apples, they are made via plant breeding. My mom said “GMO” and stuck her nose up, whatever. Do I tell her the apples are in the cobbler at dinner or no? 😭

If I wanna sit here with my face fucked up cause I don’t want to pretend to be in a good mood then that’s my right. I’ve been respectful and haven’t complained so your problem with me is between you and God, you lack energetic boundaries.

Sometimes I'm just reading some take and I'm struck by how shortsighted people are. That's it. That's the whole statement. It wouldn't even be worth mentioning if the sheer scope wasn't so staggering.

Whoever styled and directed the Twin Flame video ate it tf up, I feel like I’m just hearing the words to this song

Cutting a rug tf UP! music.apple.com/us/album/wit...

I like Emotional Oranges. I put them on when I need a simpler mood.

My man is funny. I swear he sees something making my life nicer and instead of getting his own now I gotta share. 😭 I really like knowing how I can help him though, my favorite examples are below if you’d like to giggle with me. 😂

A baby turning the corner like it’s Tokyo Drift will never not be funny. Just be moving slow and fast at the same time, cackling like they getting away with something. Whole time they got something silly like a hairbrush they put in a shoe 😂

I'll never understand the trend of husbands praising their wives in the same way you'd praise a working animal like a good hunting dog. All about labor and nothing about the connection, the fun they have together and how she makes him feel.

I cannot read this book. From now on I’ll put “problematic” behind titles when I research them because this was NOT part of my expectations 🫠

I just noticed Venus in Scorpio is coming to an end and it’s been so productive. In hindsight, I’m pleasantly surprised and need a drink.

Pop culture ruins everything and now, the sheep think ADHD is “cute 🤪” while some of us are dealing with real cycles that need some breaking and not talking about it with most people because if it ain’t cute it’s just an excuse to be “lazy.” 🙃

At what age do I get to stop sharing snacks with this child? Tiny hands all in my chips 😭

So excited when I see proper usage of “strain” instead of “strand”

I feel like houses should be legally required to come with one cool thing. Breakfast nook, hammock in the backyard, fire pit, one of those windows that got a place to sit with it, anything special and cozy 🥰

I know a lot of people have their vendetta against flavored water but I love it and this is the best one yetttt 🤩

I hate when a creator with content I liked starts getting on my nerves cause I know it’s not going away and now I gotta block them 😭

I want to start reading again and with everything going on, I don’t feel like I have the time but I’m determined to find it.

Jesus bleibet meine Freude is such a gorgeous classical piece to me and I have never heard it arranged how I want to hear it so I was scouring YouTube when I realized I literally know how to arrange music, I should be doing this myself 😭

Is it wrong if I leave a note on this lady’s windshield politely explaining why her parking on the line consistently is fucked up behavior?

Be the person that tells your stories without the intent to defend who you are.

The strong ass packaging on chick-fil-a’s sauce packets for their Dijon and honey bbq feels like violence lately. They have not always been this hard to open 😭

If you feel like you shouldn’t tip because you shouldn’t be “obligated to pay someone’s bills” then realistically, you shouldn’t be participating in the economy at all. Otherwise you are a hypocrite. 🙂

Skip the knock offs and get a real Bobbie sandwich. 🙂‍↕️

The babies just be eating fruit for sport, WHERE are they putting it!? 😭

Who ran over a heron? ☹️

Leftover rice and fried eggs are married. 🥰

I be forgetting cats can climb trees and then I see a cat climb a tree

I looked up in the corner of the pantry and there was a centipede. I went to turn on the light, the centipede was gone. It’s dead now but this was a horror movie ass setup and the scene that followed after was no better. ☹️

I don’t like it when my man comes home with unopened snacks because now I can’t sneaky eat them 😭

This dentist already has a treatment plan for me and I’m established as a patient but they KEEP pissing me off so it’s time to do this shit AGAIN with a new dentist. 😒

Hand gestures strong as shit, people gon think I’m uptight 😭

Pizza Hut pizza is not good but those breadsticks are unmatched. I already had a pizza craving in the back of my head but seeing those damn breadsticks just brought it all to the front. 😩

Making soup feels like an act of magic. It’s not hard there’s just something about it 🥰

Good morning, it’s a new day and another opportunity for you to remove “I’m just blunt” from your vernacular. ☀️🌈