My 9-year-old just caught four shiny Pokemon in a single session so he's going to be insufferable for the rest of the evening. 😆

Today on Defenestration: We get it. Work is hard, but a steady income is essential. Lucky do you, author C.J. Kelly has found some great ways to solve all your burnout problems.

I need a trained monkey or homunculus that sits by my fireplace and feeds it wood so I don't have to keep getting up while I'm trying to write.

Most of you associate Presidents' Day with sales, but here in the DC area we spend the day in fear, locked in our homes with the spell wards up, as the ghosts of presidents past make their way to the capital and haunt the streets. So happy Presidents' Day, I guess.

Friday the 13th used to be a magical time. But now that I'm experiencing fear, anxiety, and paranoia every day, how am I supposed to make Friday the 13th feel special?

Yesterday on Defenestration: A vampire-themed party. A lack of coats. An urgent need for a bathroom. Marissa Phillips has all the gothic details in this true story of teenagers at their first Dracula's Ball.

Today on Defenestration: Jackson Mattocks cares about your mental and emotional well-being, so stop getting freaky with the cinnamon buns and pay attention!

It's a tomato soup and grilled cheese kind of day. Gotta eat something or else I'd just be screaming.

Catherine O'Hara was an amazing talent and her passing has seriously bummed me out. What the heck, universe?

Saw a police car covered in road salt today. Someone had drawn a large penis on the rear window. Not sure how the cop didn't notice. 😆

Today on Defenestration: Kat Joplin had an embarrassing experience at an onsen, and they want you to avoid their mistakes!

Two of my sons and I have an ongoing competition to catch six shiny Pokemon in Z-A. My 9-year-old found an alpha shiny Litleo yesterday, but I came roaring back with a shiny Kangaskhan. Kangaskhan is my favorite Pokemon, and I have NEVER caught a shiny of this magnificent momma until today.

When I was in preschool, I used to put a plastic shovel down the back of my shirt and climb to the top of the jungle gym. Then I'd raise the shovel above my head and yell "I HAVE THE POWERRRRRRR!" in my squeaky preschooler voice. Sharing that for no particular reason today.

My fortune cookie hasn't lost all faith in the human race. I'm taking that as a good sign. 🥠

Today on Defenestration: If you've been looking for a high-quality llama urine, Robert Philen has got a deal for you!

Today on Defenestration: L. L. Babb has smuggled in the bar menu from a local restaurant. Something seems a little off, though...

Today on Defenestration: Cartoonist Mason Whitfield has an important announcement about flamingos.

Leaving Twitter was clearly one of the best decisions I ever made.

Today on Defenestration: Michael Pauchet knows that the best way to start the year is with complete and utter rejection.

I've cleaned some of the darkest recesses of the house this week: the junk drawer, the smaller junk drawer, the foyer closet, and the linen closet. I am unstoppable.

Today on Defenestration: It's the last day of 2025, and we have one last piece to share with you before we roll into 2026. Find out how to consume responsibly in today's offering from Julia Kopstein!

My 9-year-old described something as "rad" today. He probably picked this up from me, since I refuse to relinquish the slang of my past, but it was still jarring to hear it from the lips of a modern human.

My 9-year-old caught a shiny in Pokemon Z-A before me. 😆

My kids know that they don't need to ask for video games for Christmas unless it's something I'm genuinely not interested in. Because I WILL ask for games and they'll get to play them anyway. 😆

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! 🎄🎅🏼 (I tease, I tease. You're a delight.)

We don't have anything new for you this Wednesday, but if you want something to get you into the holiday spirit, check out Sean Cahill's "That Special Time of Year" from the December 2025 issue of Defenestration: bit.ly/4s4g0SO Fresh nonfiction and fake nonfiction will start up again next week!

It's Christmas Eve, so it's time to pull out this 6-year-old comic I drew! Remember: Santa has a big job to do, but he doesn't do it alone!

It's almost Christmas and I forgot to share my #Lego Christmas village and train set! I took over the kitchen island to set this stuff up. 😆 My 9-year-old started a game where one of us hides a small yellow Lego frog somewhere in the village and the rest of us have to find it.

My wife asked me for pictures of some of my #Warhammer models. Apparently she was talking me up to some coworkers in the know who were trying to gauge how serious my hobby chops were.

One last reminder before I drift off to sleep: the December 2025 issue of Defenestration is available as of this morning. Free humorous fiction and poetry to tickle your eyeballs. Not literally because that would be awful. Check it out: bit.ly/4rYqRh4

Also, with the arrival of the new issue, Defenestration is once again open to short story and poetry submissions. The reading window lasts until April 5th: bit.ly/105Enuu

Read the issue that, were it turned into a film, would absolutely count as a Christmas movie. The December 2025 issue of Defenestration is here, and nine out of ten little drummer boys give it a resounding pa-rum-pa-pum-pum: bit.ly/4rYqRh4

The December 2025 issue of Defenestration is live! We've got some new faces and some returning talent this month. Give it a read!

Today on Defenestration: Diane Durant tries to get us all hot and bothered over banana bread.

Here's what's appearing in this month's issue of Defenestration: bit.ly/48D7BOz

Today on Defenestration: Ken Pisani shares the woes of a notable tuna mascot and his supposed good taste

I helped my mother-in-law get a (real) Christmas tree today, which reminded me of this comic I drew back in 2008. I don't actually have strong opinions on fake vs. real trees, but I enjoyed drawing this horrific personification.

Today on Defenestration: Kate Maxlow has recreated a neighborhood discussion board with chilling accuracy. Will we ever find out what made that loud sound?

Today on Defenestration: Billy D almost backs his car into someone who happens to have a hunchback but the whole hunchback thing really isn't important, honest.

Overheard and the hardware store: a child telling his mother, "I love toilets!"

Today on Defenestration: Many of you are familiar with the difficulty of titling your projects. Rick Kast's piece today touches on just that problem.

Today on Defenestration: Just in time for the holiday shopping season, Susan S. Levine presents a range of unique fragrances for the special people in your lives.

I got home from work to discover that my boys had watched the Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct without me. This is what ultimate betrayal feels like.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing okay as a parent, and then my 12-year-old starts dancing to James Brown's "Soulful Christmas" in the store. I'm doing better than okay. 😎

Groceries are embarrassingly expensive.

Today on Defenestration: Matt Bower gives us a glimpse of music stardom. What do you mean you've never heard of Johnny Logo and the Trademarks?!

I haven't posted much in the past week because I was in Maui with my wife celebrating our 20-year anniversary! First trip without the kids in 15 years. 😮

Check out these cute brownies my daughter and her friend made. They've got soot sprites!

My wife wanted to say "sunscreen" but called it "sun sauce" instead. 😆 That's its new name now. I don't make the rules.

Throwback Halloween comic I drew back in 2015 when Winslow dressed as the menstrual cycle. Stay safe out there tonight you monsters! 🎃