You gonna let them implicate your boy Spuds Mackenzie like this, @mikescollins.bsky.social?

“Hello. Hello? No, I’m not interested in selling my home! Jesus.”

Applauding for a sock puppet show is actually a very horrific threat toward the performers.

When amoeba close their eyes really tightly, they see little versions of me squirming around.

Cool drone. Bet you can't fly it directly into the liquid hot magma of that active volcano.

Music festivals may be the only place where you’ll see a dude in a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt merrily eating a popsicle.

Great movie for all ages. I laughed. I cried. I loved the soundtrack.

Peter Benchley’s original line here was, “It’s more like one of those things that unproven but talented director Steven Spielberg makes movies about (hint hint call me Steven).”

Yeeeeeah!! Let's get it! Time to rise and grind....our teeth while facing the atrocities of the day.

I can tell what type of person you are solely on which "Ticket To Ride" drum fill is your favorite.

It's fall! <wears jeans> Smell that crisp air. <sweats profusely> Not jumping the gun here. <melts into puddle of goo> One hot cocoa, please.

The creators of Richie Rich are suing me for my new comics character: Poorie Poor.

mood

Stop speaking like a 19th century British heiress? But it makes me ever so happy!

a few of Caleb Deschanel's astonishingly beautiful shots of Robert Redford in The Natural

The Beatles’ “She’s So Heavy” is the first doom metal song. Not opinion. Just a fact.

In 1977, Paul McCartney secretly released an album that covers Paul McCartney’s “Ram” under the pseudonym Percy Thrills Thrillington. Cheeky bastard.

"Tires don't squeal on gravel!" and "Sneakers don't squeak on concrete!" I yell at the movie screen as a group of foley artists bludgeon me with their high-tech microphones.

It’s great to be a Georgia Feld Dawg.

Record deal? Does he even play music?

Ask any dad. Pressure washing is good for the soul.

Odd choice to set the new Downton Abbey finale in the present and have it now be a TikTok house where they also filmed a season of something called "Country House Humps & Hookups", but ok.

Taking suggestions (artists, genres, anything) on what to play next.

For sale: Teenage Slang Dictionary. $10 OBO, OBVI.

Gaze upon the beauty of King Gizzard b-sides, demos and rarities.

Never a DULL moment at the knife store. Ha ha! No, but seriously, Phil got stabbed in the alley behind the knife store.

I'm never happy with my pessimism.

Are we going to have this black magic ritual of the ancient ones or not, Jim? I have a pedicure at 2:30.

Not gonna lie. I don't really understand what the drawing from that birthday gift is trying to say.

Are we going to have this black magic ritual of the ancient ones or not, Jim? I have a pedicure at 2:30.

Comforting to know that I'm probably the only person on Earth right now working with a muted NFL game on the TV and Elmer Bernstein's "Ghostbusters" score blasting through my speakers.

I apologize for landscaping your football field, but I think the new Gardenia bushes every 10 yards really make the uniforms pop.

Great. I had to go to the bathroom in this ancient pyramid and they're all out of toilet papyrus.

S3qu3l: The Thr1cen1ng: P4rt 8

Please try and guess what this Reddit post is about. I promise that whatever you come up with will be a closer scenario than what they're actually complaining about.

Wait, you’re saying you DON’T listen to 60 year old haunted house sounds on vinyl while you work? Ok, weirdo.

Seeing Oasis live means I could finally check it off my bucket hat list.

I'm hella bad at keeping up with current slang.

Last known photos of local teens (shut up, they totally look like teens) who ventured to Crystal Lake to “party down” and prove that Jason Voorhees doesn’t exist. Whereabouts currently unknown. @telethonband.bsky.social @mattcatanzano.bsky.social @mikescollins.bsky.social

You might remember me from such classic sounds as: "Tee hee heehoowaa hahee!" "Oink oink woof." And, of course, the Grammy award winning: "Squee squee awwoooo?"

How'd I make my first million dollars? I'm the guy who did all the creepy laughing and animal noises on Pink Floyd albums.

Please Select Your Blank Check Background: - Rolling Farmland - Basket O’ Puppies - Nick Nolte’s Mugshot - Pelican in Heroin Withdrawal

"Fearless" into "San Tropez/Seamus" on Pink Floyd's Meddle is the biggest "this is amazing" to "this is terrible" in all of music. (In their defense, they bring it back to amazing with "Echoes.")

AI Tagline: "Reduce creativity. Reuse ideas. Recycle failure."

Kiss high kissing booth prices goodbye down at Jimbo's Econo-Smooch Hut.

Ran Into An Old Friend

My Personal Mantra

Dropping off some food at a friend's house that just had a baby. Still not sure how a house even got pregnant.

No, I mean I really WOULD be a monkey's uncle. Make that happen.

An Apple Beat a day keeps the doctor a Dre.