Err I've watched Portlandia - that place was due for some stormtroopers

Natural Selection [looking at MAGA] oh wow this is too easy

2020 - oh jeez my battery is low where can I charge 2035 - oh jeez my tank is almost empty where can I fill up

"still punk as fuck," i whisper as i buy the best candy so trick or treaters love me

Notwithstanding Trump's 'burn baby burn', over 95% of new energy sources last year in the US were sustainable.

I'm the type of person that if someone tells me I can't do something, I'm like 'very true but how did you know that'?

American gallery every hole: it's in the HOLE!!!! Aww #rydercup

Everything Trump touches dies #rydercup

The only thing Americans are worse at than democracy is putting #rydercup

Ikea announces new furniture line Tarrifen

How is the economy like an escalator? Neither work for Trump.

On a scale of 1-10, that Rapture was a 3 tops

Cats kill more birds than wind turbines. Which makes sense cuz wind turbines are not a natural prey of cats.

Fitting that this shit storm started with him coming down an escalator and it's approaching the end with him unable to go up one.

Trump: I've stopped 7 whores. From leaving Mar a Lago

I bet Tom Homan's wife is just fine with the living apart thing.

Tom Homan's tongue is too big for his mouth.

If a woman takes Tylenol during pregnancy , it's because she's dealing with some other issue - like a fever. A fever that can harm her baby.

I'm gonna be pissed if I showered on a Tuesday and the Rapture doesn't happen.

Jeez the Rapture reschedules more often than the hot chick I met on Hinge.

Yes the Amish have autism but because of all their horses they have plenty of ivermectin to treat it.

Tesla is building an affordable model. This will make not buying from Elon possible for the mainstream buyer.

Joined Disney+ just so I could cancel.

I'd love to help you move but I've got this Rapture thing

Most funerals don't have t-shirt cannons.

The NFL shoukd call that a 'woking' penalty

So it seems that the rapture is coming tomorrow. could anybody who owes me money send it immediately?

I don't touch grass, I allow grass to touch me

I'd probably be an awesome tight rope walker if you didn't have to wear those lame slippers.

First they came for the comedians. and I said nothing because I thought it was a gag.

Most of the world's issues could be solved if everyone just played pickleball. Not on the same court at the same time obviously, I think there is a rule against that.

We should all pay tribute to Charlie Kirk. As an example, I'm peeing on this bush in tribute to Charlie Kirk.

Gnarlie Twirk should be mourned

Shitty Angels of Our Nature

Next they'll be blaming transitive verbs

If it's possible to watch Fox News less than never watching it then that's what I'll be doing

Your honour, it's all just a mix-up - I misheard 'touch grass'.

This is going to be a kind of awkward pardon for Donnie

Has Nick Fuentes released a statement??

Taking an Anger Management course. Without occasionally getting a refresher on proper management I find that my anger dissipates too quickly.

So Dad gets the $100k?

Sneaky libs planted this kid in a republican family at birth, just so that he would do this 22 years later!!

Have to believe Tyler Robinson's dad gonna be getting cheaper than normal socks for Xmas.

Trump TACO's on Chicago

Kirk: Release the Epst......

Wall Street Journal: hey we did some great reporting on the Epstein thing. Let's get back to our average with Kirk shooting.

I'm going to guess that *this* school shooting wasn't particularly acceptable to Charlie.

"We are, quite suddenly, living in a world-changing moment" 380 GW of solar deployed in the first half of the year. No other technology can deliver speed to market or anchor the load growth coming the next few years. The US can add 100GW of rooftop solar+ storage in record time.

Reap-------------------------------------------------------------->Sow