more useful rules for life, this time from a Japanese gallery: Those who cannot use the facilities: Those who are drunk

If you want me I'll just be over here, staring into space, waiting for a Senate inquiry report that I really really need for work, that is due today, to be published. Taking bets on them delaying the whole thing by a week...

Can report that the new black shelf I just had installed in my kitchen is a perfect place to hide an iPhone: completely invisible against the surface. #wheresmyphone

bring out your zines: mailchi.mp/0ed23e1cdebf...

Sad to announce that my retirement plan - to live in a beachside apt complex and walk my blond poodle cross called Elton on the bayside promenade every day at dawn - have been cancelled due to the role already being taken.

Wordle 1,745 3/6 ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

policy at a small restaurant in Japan. I want this for swimming pools: "In order for everyone to enjoy the aroma of tempura, we may refuse entry to those who use fabric softeners or perfumes. Please be aware."

Wow, I thought he’d never be seen again.

Inner north PSA: David Bros Grocer in EB Village will be open Good Friday, because the Coles will be closed.

Also Orstraya.

Experiencing the joy of in person banking oh god

Just explaining to my kid why we’d ration petrol and diesel, complete with cars vs farming and the need for people to use governments to ensure collective benefit outweighs personal benefit. Totally normal.

Give me your most absurd tradie lateness excuses. Today’s was they had the gardener coming and needed to pick up the dog poo. For 90 minutes apparently, and couldn’t possibly be done before work hours.

Yeah nah. A person who’d torture a koala like that would happily move onto humans given the chance, @victoriapoliceau.bsky.social You need to charge this guy with everything.

Word turns riotinto (l.c.) into riot into. Bluesky: rioting.

Picking up item at Uniqlo under a huge sign about their environmental efforts. Remove soft plastic wrapping in seconds and ask if they can recycle it. #nup

This is essentially us as the lizard people who live amongst us disguised as humans.

I think it's vitally important that everyone know that when baby bear cubs are orphaned and taken to our local wildlife center, they get fed and rehabbed by people masking their scent and wearing costumes like this so they don't get habituated to humans

"We don't know who struck first, us or them. But we do know it was us that scorched the sky." (Paywalled, but the tl:dr is Elon wants to put up a million satellites, essentially blocking our view of the universe.) www.researchprofessionalnews.com/rr-news-worl...

I have read 337 pages of the 705 pages total of Charlie Kaufman’s Antkind and that is sufficient.

Erm joke? Also roof solar I could quote the stats but nah.

If they lower speed limits to save fuel, can I keep going really really fast in my electric car?

The country music cover of Slow Hand is not recommended.

Now this is huge North Fitzroy news. Has been vacant what, 30 years? www.realcommercial.com.au/for-sale/pro...

Today I have already patted a 16 week old St Bernard and a regular caboodle, and made a baby squawk happily. Job done.

Oh great another round of East Brunswick gunshots. Staying in tonight.

If one wanted to inhale, one could do worse than the street around the corner from the Forum. #fatfreddysdrop

I don't *want* to know who Banksy is. It is so far from being the point.

that's more like it for a Friday afternoon brain cleanse: Wordle 1,735 6/6 ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩⬜🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Heh

Just saved myself umpteen hours reading analysis and prediction pieces with the dawning realization that budget predictions and forecasts mean absolutely nothing at all.

I am so heartened that someone this amazing also does this.

The final boss of the Final_V2_ThisOne.docx.

fuel taskforce means rationing, right? my offer of swapping my ration card for a puppy stands.

What is Martian for “I think you left your brain in my field?”

The directive has changed. It’s now international dress like this day.

Astronomers are building an extremely large telescope. It's going to be called...the Extremely Large Telescope. elt.eso.org

here's one for your doomscroll, from expert media comments in response to the latest NZ report on the pandemic: "... given that modelling suggests a 20% chance of a Covid-scale pandemic each decade".

When do our petrol and diesel ration cards arrive and I can I swap mine for a puppy?

So if the Vic government settled with the businesses affected by the Covid quarantine debacle, can us parents bring a class action on behalf of our kids? Not advocating it, it’s just where my mind went. No wonder they settled.

Today is Global Accidentally Skeet Your To-Do List Day. I don’t make the rules.

Glanced at a local Good Karma network and people are calling each other morons in a hot thread about bike paths. Didn’t join the network.

Indoor pool at Collingwood closed. Ask not why.

Petition to ban loud droney motivational visualizations exercises in commercial classes at public beaches.

Mick Herron @wheelercentre.bsky.social selling fast people.

Getting p/teacher slots is like booking for a hot concert, with all the attendant dramas of being online when it opens, juggling dates and messaging your co-booker in the other screen.

aargh tax time

In huge #melbourne news, the Caifa family at Vic market bread shop are selling out after 52 years, to a larger company. Last week next week I think.

If I could go anywhere in time and space right now, it would be about 1130 pm at the Royal Derby in c. 1987 at the moment Chris Wilson pulls out his harmonica and lets rip. Smoke and all.

I’m up to 27.5 kg on the deadlift but I still can’t cut through this Collingwood cafe’s sourdough. Hardcore.