The vet bills and urgent care bills have been so expensive that I’ll have to delay submitting the physical versions of The Heroes We Never Were for a bit. I am pretty disappointed but life loves to throw wrenches into the works. We’ll get there.

I never learned the proper way to type. Everything I’ve ever done has just been my index fingers furiously picking away at the keyboard like lunatic chickens fighting over the last bit of feed.

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Here they come! I am beyond excited to finally have this in the hands of readers & can’t wait to see what my ARC team thinks! This story has been percolating in my mind a long time and it’s WILD to finally be sharing it DM me or sign up below if you’d like to join the ARC team!

As soon as I got the kids to bed early, I poured myself a drink, prepared a snack, set up my workstation, laptop all set, manuscript files open, notes prepared, ready to go…. And promptly fell asleep on my keyboard Now I have 286 pages of ssssssssssssss

Only 3 DAYS until cover reveal time But I’m going a little crazy waiting so… FOOT REVEAL!

Where would you rank this on the scale of one to unforgivable? Saying “I got bookmail today!” Then not showing the bookmail

Trying to write stories that frequently cross into grimdark territory when your baseline brainwaves are a nonstop buzzing frenzy of monty python and the holy grail skits is not easy

I wrote a book called THE MONSTERS WE FEED. This is that book. - dark fantasy noir with swords - tragic pseudo-reliable protagonist - quirky companions - sorcerer serial killers - violent corrupt underworld - underground magick society - a healthy dose of murder & betrayal

thou shalt not put thy pineapple upon thy pizza for it is sin

Sometimes there is no traumatic backstory Sometimes a person is just an asshole

How can I make the very last page of this 680 page book even sadder?

My daughter used to pronounce raccoons “baccoons” when she was 2 and now that she is 3 she doesn’t call them that anymore and instead just calls them raccoons and I’m sad about it and so I’m going to kill off your favorite side character.

Announcing my new series!!! Passing gas is no joke, it’s life or death Arm yourself with fiber Prepare to experience the world of a flatulence-based magic system, where what you eat the day before can be the difference between victory & defeat! No swords. Just beans.

I write books sometimes Last Gasp is a quick brutal emotional gut punch Kasaban is achingly dark, cruel, hopeful and character driven Monsters is fantasy noir up to its neck in violence, spice, and magick Immortals is epic, multi-pov & questy w/magick duels & sword fights

Authors who are editing are liars Well, all authors are liars to the extent we write fiction but that’s not what I mean I mean we swear to ourselves over and over again that we are done working on a manuscript but then we JUST. KEEP. WORKING. ON. IT. And by authors I mean me

“This main character is making too many stupid irrational decisions” Sooooo you’re saying they’re too realistic?

I reserve the right to use the british spelling “grey” at all times and I shan’t be argued with

I’ve been looking over what the medical diagnosis and/or cause of death labels would be for injuries from magick in my books. RESULTS: explosive amputation catastrophic barotrauma thermal annihilation disintegration total body disruption cozy little things like that

I have this urge to go through my kindle and buy physical versions of all the indie books I already own the ebooks of even though I haven’t read them yet

The characters in my books talk a lot After numerous attempts to curb my penchant for dialogue I may have to accept that this is just the way I am and my characters are going to banter like there’s no tomorrow

This energy drink blowing up in my face the second I open it and spraying everywhere is a lot like writing a book

When I sprinkle lore in my stories much of it is just texture to make the world feel lived in. A reader is definitely not required to study or memorize every name or family history. If it’s pertinent to the plot I’ll make sure it’s mentioned often enough you learn it by accident.

Starting to get a teensy but excited about the cover for THE HEROES WE NEVER WERE

I write rated-R fantasy books I like prologues chapter-titles & em-dashes I’m a fan of profanity & a sucker for cool maps I like single pov novellas & epic multi-pov sagas I’m a lore superfan & never one to shy away from spice or violence If you’re cool with that we can hang

authors write books - yes! talk about other people’s books - yes! talk about your own books - er, no

The best preparation for writing I had was sneaking into hospital parking garages with my sword fighting crew each week dressed all in black wearing skull codpieces and beating the shit out of each other in the middle of the night.

This is the face of an author who is extremely hyped to finally be able to say this It’s done. It’s finished. It’s a BOOK. No more tweaks, touch ups, edits, revisions, second thoughts I am very, very, VERY tired but I am oh so happy right now I can’t wait to share it with you

I’m getting really excited about book related stuff here. For the first time in a long time. This story has been cooking in my brain for years and it feels so good to have it nearly ready.

Ok so JUST the final action sequence of THE HEROES WE NEVER WERE is now longer than the entirety of THE LIGHT OF KASABAN I think I’m finally back to my epic chonky ways

at the end of the day, appropriate grammar is whatever you say it is

Penelope thinks you should be reading right now

whether you love editing or hate it, one thing is certain: by the time you are finally done revising your book, no matter how much you love your characters and story, you have gone over it so many times you can’t stand it anymore and would do anything to work on something new

epic fantasy author: *trying to come up with wacky ideas for this effed up brutal execution scene* 2yr old: “daddy, hang me upside down by my feet and swing me around” epic fantasy author: 🤔💡😱 “are you writing this scene or am I?”

me: *receives criticism* “I shall respond to this eloquently, reflect on it as it pertains to my overall growth as an author, chuckle about it with friends and peers, and consider it a positive experience” me: *receives praise* *deer in headlights for literally hours or days*

As a book reviewer you should always rate books however many stars you want. Just remember that any rating less than 17 stars is literally murder and murder is illegal.

If you know me even a little this should not come as much of a surprise

I keep telling you all that I’m editing but all I seem to be doing is adding words I go to remove a less than stellar line of prose and suddenly get an idea for a whole new paragraph I may need an intervention

I think about this scene a lot

Rest assured, the moment you are most confident in your WIP you shall see a video online of someone saying *whatever kind of book your book happens to be* is the worst kind of book and the video has 50k likes 😂

The 0th rule of writing: Don’t be a petty douchebag. It’s not cool.

It looks like I’ve gone ahead and written another novella….

We lie the hardest to ourselves. I have sworn for weeks that I am finished tinkering with this manuscript and yet here I am STILL DOING IT. Granted I am adding important little touches to flesh out one aspect of the story I’d left a little shallow, BUT STILL.

A few gifts going out to readers today The wrapping is color coded to the book covers of course

My books don’t always have prologues But when they do, I don’t care whether you like prologues or not

I admit being surprised Keluwen gets flack from readers for pushing back against male leaders of her group, some of whom are extremely condescending Especially when they plan to use an innocent girl as bait for a sorcerer serial killer until Keluwen demands a different approach

My final act in editing this book will be to figure out where to fit this SINGLE LINE OF DIALOGUE that perfectly evokes the core theme of the main character’s internal conflict that for some inexplicable reason I only just now came up with

I’ve received some VERY good news The seemingly endless saga of my quest to secure the cover for this book may finally be nearing its end and I am so stoked to be able to finally say that So this is not a cover reveal. Yet But watch this space

My reasons to have a prologue: to show there is more going on than what main characters are aware at first to show the danger waiting for the main characters to deliver tension/action as a promise of what’s to come so early chapters do not need to be rushed never to lore-dump

Author: you’ve finally got a big chunk of time to write! Author’s brain: yay! Author: so what are we going to do all day? Author’s brain: procrastinate!