(cw: vent) Maybe I'm just weak but sometimes the pain is enough that death is preferable. But apparently I'm just too hard to kill off because I'm still here despite it all. Yes it's currently 2am, yes it hurts to breathe, yes this will likely keep me awake all night, again.

I've been trying to keep my follower count down after my account got too big on the last platform. I found that the bigger it got, the more drama I'd get. But somehow there's still like a thousand of you here XD

ABU simple ultras are finally available here and I managed to get some in my last order I've always preferred plain white but it's weirdly hard to get any good ones in the UK But gosh these are SO soft and comfy and they fit me SO well. Tapes are great and no leaks. 100% becoming my new daily wear

ADHD acting up is like mind control but not in the kinky way

Replaying GTA: San Andreas and I completely forgot about Catalina. All she wants is a man to take her on bank robberies and have shootouts with. I love her XD

Ordering more diapers while stinky just to help remind me why I need them...

See we have different definitions of magic wands because mine casts fireballs

You know, if I weren't so accident prone, I'd be very easy to hypnotise into filling my diaper in embarrassing public situations.

Today was a good day and this should be celebrated "What happened" It's more that nothing bad happened and I've managed to stay awake all day XD

I've noticed that as my energy continues to get worse, my ability to feel has gone with it. It's dark, but I mean... When all I can typically feel is "tired" and "pain", and knowing that this might never improve, and only degrade? It's hard not to question the point of it all.

I wish I could care about things like BFC, but I really couldn't see a point in me ever doing that, I don't know what I'd get out of it. I guess to be fair I'm rarely ever excited for anything, let alone something that dramatic. I don't feel those "emotion" things very often.

I should have been more specific with what I asked for because suddenly stinky but also it's work hours where I have to be doing other things... XD

I really gotta find a way to eat better because I deserve more full diapers than I get 😔

Realising more and more lately that I'm really not healthy enough to work anymore. But society works in such a way that I'm too afraid to give it up, even though it's effectively self harm at this point. A difficult situation, and one in which I don't know how to proceed...

I'm tired of being tired and I'm ready to be catnapped into a loving home.

I generally can't words in music, it just sounds like noise to me. Sometimes I can't even tell if there are supposed to be lyrics, or if it's just general choral sounds. But this also means I never want to look it up in case I don't like what I find, as I won't be able to unhear it XD

I've been wondering why my insides have been so hurty this morning, to the point it's hard to walk. *Suddenly full diaper, and the hurty stops* Oh... I think I understand. 😂

"You need to get the oceans expansion for chess to use the seaplane piece" Hashtag no context. ... But also now I wanna see this expansion.

There's something very funny about the fact I'm excited to be told that my heart isn't pumping blood properly. Because it means they finally found something wrong with me and that I'm not just making things up.

Playing through BL the pre-sequel again and I swear every time Nisha says "fill your hands" I hear something different...

Thinking about being bottle fed one morning with a little something extra inside. Being taken out to the shops none the wiser, until suddenly my tummy feels funny and uh oh...

The disappointment when every morning I wake up, again, for yet another day of suffering.

I don't often have dreams but I did last night, in which I was stinky at a hospital trying to find a place to change before a cat scan, while ranting about my biggest issues with Linux for a blog post.

To this day I am still offended that bedtime is the point of the day I typically feel best, and then I semi-voluntarily engage in self harm. (Sleeping)

Doctor told me today my legs are strong enough to climb 55 flights of stairs before needing to stop. For one, I don't know where I could even find that many stairs. For two, I don't want to try XD

I know I'm generally very confident about being in diapers, but gosh, I had an accident around a friend recently and it made me feel so small and vulnerable and wishing I had a CG to look to for help, because I didn't know what to do

Suddenly having the fullest diaper I've had recently while I have a guest and need to change straight away should be illegal 😔 #incontinentkittenproblems

I'm so talented that I made it the whole time without any issues 😎 ... We don't need to talk about what happened like 30 minutes after being let out though 😳

... So I had a fun time recently. It was so snug and cosy, gosh

Meanwhile, the people I know who _are_ into messy diapers are more likely to go the opposite route, and would make sure my diaper is full loooong before even considering letting me out...

I don't get tied up very often but being incon I'm always so nervous about "what if" when it's with someone not into messy diapers To the point that I question things like... maybe I shouldn't eat just before, or if I can make things happen sooner to reduce the risk

Hello it's Monday and I'm ready to have all my thoughts emptied into my diapers 😵‍💫

(cw: messy) That's why you should keep loose pants around -w-;; #abdl

1 million 😎

One of the weirdest things about starting ADHD medication was discovering that you're supposed to be able to control what you think about. It's wild how much easier it is now. I was off medication yesterday and my mind went back to just looping over nonsense with absolutely no way for me to stop it

I have a blue dot on my DMs which implies someone might have sent me a message. Is it even still possible to send me DMs?? I would have assumed it's impossible given I refuse to give ID for age verification, and thus can't view them.

One of my favourite things in statistics, which I use startlingly often in life: If you have a ¹⁄ₙ chance of something happening, and you do it n times, you have a 1 - ¹⁄ₑ chance that it happens at least once. Which is about 63.21% Which I have just now realised is the furry number. Oh no...

Extremely low odds in statistics are such a fascinating thing. Because technically yes there's a chance that I get a UUID collision, vut the odds are so low that we all just confidently say "this will never happen"

Having dreams is so dumb. I thought the point of sleeping was to rest, but instead I wake up within minutes of falling asleep because suddenly my brain is active again.

Sometimes I just feel so desperate for an escape.

Look just because I'm a bedmesser and woke up stinky it doesn't take away from the achievement of waking up dry. 😎

"Imagine losing a fight to someone in a full diaper" - Kiburi when winning in fighting games

When I first joined here I was disappointed that notifications were all or nothing, when I only wanted them for comments. So I kept them all off But honestly now they've added more options for it... I don't want it. Life is better without unnecessary notifications tbh. I'll look when I feel like it

I've noticed a few people's profile pictures are being censored now, even when it's completely SFW. So I guess the account itself is flagged as adult But the funny thing is it's client side censorship. The server is still sending the full image and the client is just putting a filter over it.

I'm up to a quarter million science per minute in factorio and I think I need an intervention

I mean okay I AM writing this in a full diaper so MAYBE they're right about me not being an adult...

So how do I get a kink for parental controls to make up for being banned from "adult" content on here. Which is hilarious given I am entirely asexual and literally do not horny. Because no, I am not going to verify my age on any platform, regardless of what the government imposes upon me.

Hanging up my straitjacket on a coat hanger like the distinguished gentlecat that I am

Practical taekwondo uses: throwing an axe kick to remove a spider web (The spider is of course unharmed. But sadly it picked a bad place to build that)

Today's tale is called "Kiburi and the test case that only passes when one specific unrelated test is disabled" I haven't got to the ending yet but I'm on the edge of my seat.