So barely 2 months after my lovely nana passed, my grandpa joined her after a very quick and unexpected illness. From both maternal grandparents in October, to no living grandparents whatsoever now. Doing about as well as you'd expect rn.

Just doesn't feel like the safe space ship everyone wants it to be anymore, does it.

Do I want to watch the hockey show? Yes. Do I know anything about hockey? No. Am I fearful it will take over my already full brain? Very yes.

Ended up going to maternity triage last night bc babygirl decided that new year's day was a great time to play a 12 hour round of sleeping lions and she is MAKING UP FOR IT TODAY by playing constant karate with my internal organs. Girl pls. Can we have some kind of consistency here.

Slightly hypothetical question: what do you do with a partially published fic that you're sadly slowly realising (accepting) you'll probably never finish? (life comes at u fast huh) leave what's there up? Chuck it in a private collection? Lay down and cry?

Listen I know the whole point of the glucose test is to stress test your body's reaction to sugar but fuck me that's one hell of a brutal sugar crash when it drops off 😭

Shout out to whoever made the glucose drink taste like burnt plastic with a hint of citrus 👍 makes it really easy to get down on an empty stomach 👍👍👍

I have my glucose tolerance test tomorrow morning (shout out to the crime of being fat and pregnant) and I have 2 choices: do I take my work laptop and do a bunch of planning for the new year, or do I take my Chromebook and attempt to write for the first time in forever

MIL showing concern the only way she knows how, by declaring that I look like I've lost weight, then despairing that I SHOULDN'T be losing weight in my ~condition~. Like girl idk what to tell you I'm eating like a horse and the baby appears to be growing appropriately????

A deliciously filthy snapshot of a sex scene just dropped fully formed into my head and now I'm just laying here on the sofa trying to figure out how I build the rest of the scene around it

Good morning merry Christmas if you celebrate, happy Thursday if you don't! Mr Em has decided to start the day by having the existential crisis of "this is our last Christmas where we won't be someone's parents" and now I am 🫠

Pining while fucking got canonised as a tag and I STILL haven't finished writing the 3rd chapter of old res 😭

Girl this is NOT helpful

ANDREW MCMAHON IS DEVELOPING A TV SERIES SET IN THE EARLY 00S BASED ON KONSTANTINE? oh my god.

I cannot emphasise enough how much of a deliberate choice it was for this to be a T rated fic, for the story to be purely about emotional connection. There will always be naysayers to non-explicit fics in fandom. Always. But T rated fics will always have an audience. Tell your story, regardless 💛

Rhubarb is laying on my belly and she and the baby seem to have got themselves into a cycle of: cat purrs, baby kicks. Cat purrs harder from surprise, baby goes mental. Cat keeps purring, rinse and repeat etc etc etc. I'm just laying here taking it all like a sucker while they commune.

Had an unexpectedly good night's sleep last night for the first time in weeks and I'm utilising the brain power to happily daydream about all the seasonal fic I'm not writing right now 😌

Ed and Steve sitting around a winter solstice bonfire, just a small one, no chance of getting out of hand. Burning little paper notes that they've written all their regrets and sadnesses on for the year. Ushering in the longer, brighter days and saying goodbye to the darkness (cont..)

Formally submitted all the initial paperwork for mat leave and all I can say is the countdown is on for march 13th and the best part of a year caring about literally nobody else's children except my own one. Cannot WAIT for that responsibility shift.

I thought Saturday morning would be a lovely time for a lay in. A recovery from the week. A nice long sleep. My tiny passenger, on the other hand, has decided that 6am would be the perfect time to practice her newly learnt karate routine. So!!!

My new enemy who will never know he's my enemy is the MAN who manspread himself across TWO seats in the both tiny (we're talking 8-10 seats total) and unusually busy maternity waiting area this morning, letting visibly pregnant people stand while he texted. Enemy for life. For LIFE.

ALSO today is seven point three miles' birthday. It turns three whole years old. Because time apparently isn't real at all. 🔥⌚

There have been a few hiccups and I never want to see a cardboard box again but I am currently sitting in the kitchen of my new house. I have a GARDEN. And an UPSTAIRS 😭

Got a long list of notifs I can't bring myself to open and reply to bc my life is just too full of growing a kid who's not yet big enough to reliably let me know she's ok on a daily basis and a funeral to attend next week and a flat to pack up because we're moving next week and a full time job and.

Lungs is in the process of turning two, and seven point three miles turns three in a few weeks time, and I want to believe I have the capacity to write something to celebrate ONE of these two, considering they feel like my keystone fics, but ALAS. I continue to wish my writing back 😭

For those keeping track, em jr will be assigned female at birth! And she kept her chin tucked to her chest for her entire scan regardless of how much we harassed her so we have to go back for a rescan 🙃 I'm growing a stubborn, shy, wiggly kid.

Cannot recommend grieving a close family member while pregnant. It gets to 6.30 in the evening and I am emotionally and physically DONE with the day but nowhere near tired enough to go to sleep so I'm just idk, drifting through the last few hours before bed 🫠

Seems excessive but I'll take it

My nana passed last night. And I don't know how to measure sadness but I know this is the most I've felt in my entire life.

Mum last Friday: nanny is very unwell and won't get better, go visit her this weekend while she still recognises you. Monday: nanny has brightened up and is looking much better today! Today: nanny is on palliative care and all treatment has been withdrawn. So. There we go.

Some things are evergreen and by some things I mean alexis in schitt's creek 3x04 driving test. People aren't thinking about you the way you're thinking about you. Nobody cares. (/pos)

GENUINELY DEVASTATED 😭 a soup I loved and have been craving for WEEKS has had the recipe changed and now it is full of spring onion 😭 I didn't check before buying 2 tubs, opened one just now for lunch and I am ASSAULTED by the smell I could genuinely cry

I want to knit myself a baby blanket but the issue is if it's not knit or purl I am wildly out of my depth and I have NO PATIENCE to try and learn anything new right now 😤

On a train to London half full of people going to MCM (including a guy in a full Mando costume) but because life comes at you fast we are instead on our way to BABYCON 👶(not a joke. We're gonna try out so many buggies on the buggy obstacle course)

I personally think I am god's strongest soldier for surviving this entire 8 week term whilst in the depths of the first trimester/early second trimester trenches with only ONE SINGLE SICK DAY. god's strongest fucking soldier.

I don't wish to alarm anyone but

I am running out of plausible bump deniability and will soon have to tell the kids that no, it's not a result of mcds opening 10 mins from the school, it is, in fact, a baby. And the issue with that is that there isn't a single child in my school (secondary) that doesn't know how babies are made 🙃

Great news on the writing front! I've upgraded from considering wiping my WIP from the face of the earth (ao3) to reading everything I have that's currently unpublished, and writing the rest of the chapter in my head?? Great success! (Still need to get something down on paper, but baby steps!)

It's 6.45 in the morning and I'm just laying in bed thinking I could absolutely demolish a roast dinner right about now. No energy to cook one, I just want to eat it.

Well now I absolutely need a rock/popstar ed fic in which he writes an entirely unnecessary, cringe, and very much not asked for song about how his new boyfriend's massive dick changed his life.

Karaoke sex chicken sequel except it's 5 times ed and stede managed to toe the line of public sex offences at jackie'z and the one time they broke an all time record for both Jackie penalty points and the length of their resulting ban ✌️

How's pregnancy going you ask? Well, I just spent 10 minutes sitting on the kitchen floor uncontrollably sobbing because I accidentally broke the little bowl I made in my first proper ceramics class that my cat eats her treats from 😔

Mr em has covid 🙃✌️

My "growing a new human is very tiring" afternoon lay downs have become such a staple of my day that I am now the proud owner of a special sofa duvet set and memory foam pillow I can have "actual rest, not just sad lay downs" - direct quote from Mr Em

Hello I am pleased to announce that despite Dr Doom's empathy lacking not-diagnosis back in August, we have now confirmed, with the help of the most lovely sonographer, a kiwifruit sized em jr with all the right parts a baby should have at this stage of growing 😌

Perhaps this is quite niche but I have caught up with the sewing bee and to say I am shocked, appalled, and deeply upset would be an understatement

My limited internet time truly RUINED by being blocked from all the nsfw channels in every discord under the sun because I refuse to verify my age 😔 I just wanna look at rude things in peace 😔

Some positive news re: this hell. Saw my community midwife for the first time today and she's SO MAD about this, apologised so much for our experience, and has directed us to the feedback and complaints 😌 best believe I've got my typing fingers ready.

Man, I miss the person I was three years ago when I was in the depths of plotting and writing seven point three miles. I was a Storytelling Machine back then 😭

the real answer, i know, is both. both is good. but authors: would you rather nail the opening line of a story, or the closing line?