Boyfriend left me in the car without the air on 😥

dick so balls ✨

Baader-Meinhof??? But I 𝘥𝘰 see her everywhere!!

Congrats, graduates!!! 🎓🎉 I’m on campus for some Pump and Sir Cum-Stance 🍾🍾

"Is this a pot brownie?" No, actually I baked them in a pan :)

Olivia Rodrigo is Taylor Swift's Wario (complimentary) and I won't be saying any more on that

IT'S ROCK GIRL SUMMER, BITCHES

hehe haha I had my identity stolen and lost access to my phone number for four (4) full weeks 🤡🤡

baby’s first crash out ☺️

Who up Floating their Points?

Currently decaffeinating 😌

I think I just felt hope for the first time in wow holy shit

Seize the means of consumption!!!

Yaaaa I'll have a little moretini 🤭🤭

I've been caught in tech support hell for seven days without cellular service. This is the future when customer service is chat bots and outsourcing. Please make the corporate overlords pay.

beauty brand collab Law Roach-Posay

we accept the cookies we think we deserve

🅿️♾️🅿️

is it gay pool weekend yet

Damn they clocked my tea

If anyone 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 wanted to see your skircle, they could just look it up themself! Bluesky is decentralized like that

There are OSHA violations everywhere for those with eyes to see

sometimes I get a little sad but then I remember music is wow

I watched a little bit of Karol G's Coachella performance again and started crying 🥲🥲🥲

If I'm not supposed to stick a Qtip deep into my ear canal, then why does it feel so goooood

Today I'm appreciating Courtney Barnett's perfect, no-miss discography

never flop never flopping

I **** my ********* 🤧

Yeahhh I'm sort of like the maximalist Philip Glass

One of life's simple pleasures is removing eggs from the carton in a rotationally symmetrical pattern 😌

hbd daddy karl

dog mogged

I'm learning that Rebecca Black did a techno DJ set at Stagecoach 😲😲 That bitch mixed Ninajirachi, Shania Twain, Iggy Azalea, and Fergie in the first 20 min lmaooo 🤯🤩😂

Frankly, I deserve to be at the new Floating Points ballet in SF right now

Gay guys stop making up holidays to post your nudes and selfies challenge

ACAB includes morning people. Why are you bootlicking the regime of productivity. That's oppression in broad daylight.

more like Anne Hastowork amirite??

does my new profile pic make my ass look fat?

requires: direct sunlight, frequent watering, and lidol treats

My only Coachella regret is not seeing Turnstile live youtu.be/cwQOnn7hAZI?...

America runs on computer vomit

I long for the halcyon days of ‘wikipedia is not a primary source’ when we now let predictive text write policy briefs

it’s her day

bluesky's the limit

i’ve got so many partially used ingredients in my cupboards, I decant even

My gay guide to Coachella, the unmissable performances: - Slayyyter - Addison Rae - FKA twigs - Karol G I’m still grinning ear to ear thinking about each one

just followed my plug on Isn'tagram 🤭

My therapist is agreeing with me too much and that doesn’t comport with my “you’re always wrong and bad” thing

I’ve spent the past two weeks trying to recover my text message history from my old android onto my new iphone to no avail. I’m never beating the yearning allegations. And fuck you Tim Apple

boyfriendchella ✨