anyways this account isnt supposed to be serious this account is supposed to be where I go when I get a boner and have to make the most deranged tweets possible without scaring the hoes so

being so for real it's impossible to be as Kink Positive and Kink Open as I have been and not eventually slide into having more and more kinks that I feel less and less like all belong on a hypothetical-main-if-I-had-one because at the end of the day not Everyone can handle Everything

all I ask is that you not necessarily correlate the ideas I'm putting over here with ideas I'm putting. elsewhere. I contain multitudes etc

its called girlsmell and its art (this post brought to you by being slightly sweaty)

oh god where did you come from

ass obsessed? wdym isn't everyone

hypothetically if you and your partner got reality warped into the donuts of fat fat-assed anthro scolipede bitches who enjoy making their holes kiss for fun what's the appropriate way to react

your universe is actually a simulation someone is running on their computer and it uses barely any ram and they go through billions of years of simulated physics to get back to This Earth State just to inject whatever they find horny, then save yours as a background process and do it again

girls don't get horny either and they definitely don't make deranged posts on alt accounts

girls don't fart stupid

mmm massive balls and becoming them

really just need my face replaced with something else for some reason, I guess because I want to look in the mirror and try to gasp but just throb instead or something.

reality warping really is the most overpowered kink, like none of it's fair but there's nothing LESS fair then going "this is how it is and always has been" and then that's fucking True and there's nothing you can do about it, assuming they left you the wherewithal to want to do anything about it

great day to be ruined in some sort of extreme permanent way that can never be undone

a jumbled kinda girl. they built this girl wrong. they rebuilt this girl wrong nothing goes where it should

yeah they're turning me into an animate hieroglyphic on the fat ass of a sphinx girl for 10000 years

you're gonna get in a teleporter accident and it's gonna be fucked up

insane I Need To Be A Dildo feelings

fairy blasting ass with transformative consequences... bending over to reveal her Fat Fairy Ass and letting out a Bmmffrt so pink and sparkly and thick that when it dissipates the poor sap standing in its way is nothing more than a cardboard standee,

the way this is gonna work is I'm gonna be really annoying for a few minutes to a few hours and then probably go dead silent, rinse and repeat,

taking a hot porn image and throwing a dart at it to decide which part of the image I actually am. I break my monitor

the cock TF spell seemed to completely fizzle, but hours later after the two of you went your seperate ways, while you're in public, you're wracked with more pleasure than you know what to do with-- and now there's cum pouring out of your mouth and nose right in the aisle, oops.

sorry they're flattening you under their ass tomorrow. yeah and then they're gonna take your pancaked form and through it on a skillet until it magically ends up a puffy golden brown actual-pancake consistency. and then they're like, totally gonna glaze you with syrup and eat you, sorry,

waaait I got self conscious and it killed the horny vibes fuckkk

this is definitely gonna be a general purpose absurd kink rambling account because fuck having a filter tbqh

@birdbrainedbird.bsky.social makes the mistake of saying the word 'wish' while I'm in earshot <3 I think a little teasing is in order, yes? Everyone make fun of the buttsticker, yes?

it has to smell kinda good and be a fun unrealistic color is the thing,

and it's like this, honestly, yeah, yknow,

yknow things might happen here they might not who can say

yeah we're really doin this whateverr