Somewhere, off in the not too far distance, a Fudgie The Whale has started its course in my direction. Just saying

I know. It’s been forever. Sorry to anyone who’s been trying to get in touch, and/or for making y’all worry Bad news: I fell into a severe depressive episode Good news: I’m clawing my way out Bad news: it’s largely situational and situations get worse Good news: there are drugs for the rest

I went ham on the Jolly Dodgers

It’s another hot Christmas here in Central Texas. I’m wrapping gifts and my tits and bits are all sweaty. I hate it.

Hah bumhug

It has finally cooled off and my tits are happy.

Pie for breakfast?

Bukkake throwback, care of iOS.

My sighs have gotten so heavy, they could replace the piano in ‘A Fish Called Wanda’

Really? No one speaks Haitian Creole? Not one of you? *le sigh Y’all need Jesu- …google

Oof, don’t give this scent to anyone from Haiti

Now I’ve stepped on a deck screw and yes, it went through the shoe in the skin. Also, last night I drove home with one headlight working. So: headlight out, possum funkified dog, need a tetanus shot. That’s my three, Bitch. (not in the mood for karma to be bad at math today)

The internet says that possums *do not* spray like skunks, but I’m calling “bullshit” on that. One of my mastiffs is _literally_ soaked in possum funk.

In my personal and anecdotal experience, Jews and mold do not go well together.

I think I could rocks some nipple tassels. Totally serious right now.

Reworking the word ‘vagina’… How do we feel about Goddess Pocket?

Finally got a little rest. The past couple of days have been CRAZY. What day is it, Friday? Anyway, you guys, I’m an auntie! Again!!

At my house, when it rains, it doesn’t just pour, oh no. It: deluges, gullywashes, monsoons, duck-drowns, cob-floats, toad-strangles, and more. Yall, we are fuckin’ drenched over here.

My husband is watching a documentary about cheese, just because.

Finally! A cat named ’Tits’

Okay, who broke the internet? www.windowscentral.com/software-app...

Odd fact: I’m a weird/neat brain person. I have synesthesia and cool synaptic quirks that allow me a few “super-brain memory” abilities, albeit rather useless ones. I tell you this bc I was just describing something from my childhood and got momentarily yanked back to kiddie tastebuds. So bizarre.

Cool cool, just a second menstrual cycle. No time between the two - so, I’m now on week four and washing the naproxen down with Kaopectate. It’s a fuckin party up in here, yall.

Someone on Reddit referred to tefillin (shel rosh) as “jaunty little top-hats” 😄 #Jewsky

After yet another face off with a cockroach, I’ve come to realize that I will quite literally go to my grave battling these motherfuckers.

Going to our local food truck park for date night It’s still hot and my hair/tits are heavy/sweaty Gonna drink my weight in mango lassi

Soooo, yeah. This happened and it was weird as fuck and rather unnerving… #antisemitism

I have this vintage Kenzo (‘88) in a beautiful bottle with a little bit of juice left. Finally broke down and gave her a squeeze - woof - she has turned. *le sigh

Goddamn, if you bitches could smell my ditches! Swoon. #FragHag

I’ve also noticed that whilst at the table, women will quietly release carbonation burps through the nose. Men, not so much. Me: We’re in a restaurant, burp through your nose Man: But that kinda hurts Me: And?

Ladies, want to have some fun with cis-hetero men? Get them some water and challenge them to drink it with their mouths open (swallow w/o bringing their lips together) I promise you won’t be disappointed and it’s worth the cleanup. I did this with my hubs and was cry-laughing for a good 5 minutes 😂😭

Okay just how many fucking tests do we need to check the text alert system, City of Austin. You’re wrecking my nerves here.

I know this is tmi, but I am now shedding 10 months worth of uterine lining and the cramps are…intense.

Hahahahahahaha #Jewsky

There are some mornings when I cannot distinguish between the sound of my neighbors’ kids, and the sound of my neighbors’ chickens. This is one of those mornings.

The vibe in our living room this morning

When you’re so GenX that you wake up with “mall bangs”

That Cologuard test is the shit…oh wait, no. There was no shit involved. No shit at all. Anyway, guess who does not have colon cancer :)

Accidentally aspirating a small chunk of gluten-free donut hole and waiting to see if it comes out of my nose was not the exciting plan I had in mind for the evening, but at this point it’ll have to do.

I will see your “inciting violence against ICE agents“ and raise you with a resounding: “inciting violence against Jews (as usual)”

Hello @alansmitheedga.bsky.social - is this you?

Get good and baked and eat baked goods. Me rn.

He stabbed himself in the neck with a pen…and they think women are dramatic?

Ummm, so, guess who’s _not_ menopausal? Yep. That’s right. This gal. Now, here’s the riddle - what condition caused my body to duplicate the symptoms of acute menopause…so many to choose from 🤔 *Yes, I know what it is. No, it’s not life-threatening

Just sitting here, patiently waiting to be blamed for the death of Jesus

This, with a completely straight face. No breaking. Completely nonchalant. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8SHHqKh/

Fire in Walnut Creek area @oboistaalli.bsky.social

And, let’s be clear, Trump sees anyone who does not support him and anything he does as “antifa”. We are now living with what can only be seen as a fascist federal government.

*ahem

‘Trump says he’s designating “anti-terrorists” as a terrorist organization’ This is where we are now.