I can’t stop thinking about the stolen KitKats.

So I’m swaddled on the couch with hockey on but instead of ramen it’s a bowl of pasta. I am almost pacified.

Having one of those days where I need to be put in my jammies and swaddled on the couch. With ramen.

I’m going to take a mental health day on Friday to go to the Ducks game. I think my weathered soul needs hockey.

Any of my nerds want a Vic 20? 🤣

Stop scrolling & post two characters who bring you happiness.

I understand why we do UAT early on weekends, but that doesn’t make me loathe it any less.

When you find out one of your very favorites musicians played a song he told you he wouldn’t ever play live last night at a last minute show and you missed it because you were being social for once.

For the record… the new recipe was a hit with the taste testers. It’s going into regular rotation.

Well I’m glad I didn’t miss anything fun while I was having a social life.

I just caught my first shiny since community day 😭😭😭

I turned off the TV and 10 seconds later Peraza HR. You’re welcome everyone.

Ok Reid got out of it I can leave for the bbq I’m gonna be late for now.

Accurate.

Oatmeal chocolate chiiiiiiip… tried a new recipe.

Apple TV can’t even let us win without rubbing in how bad we suck historically.

On pace for a 162 HR, 324 hit szn 🙌

ZACHARY!!!

SAM!?!? SAM. Sam, no.

I’m picking up my pizza and two kids are running circles around the restaurant screaming and their parents are screaming at them to stop and there’s just a lot of screaming.

I’m getting an emotional support pizza for dinner.

If I get one more spam call about student loan debt consolidation I’m gonna lose my shit.

Michael supremacy 🙌🙌🙌

The largest cat you've ever seen.

Gonna get GRANLUND tattooed across my face.

Ducks v Flames is an assault on my vision goddamn these colors suck.

Kim Jong-il has named his successor, Freddie Freeman

Clayton Kershaw working for NBC is the first time he's been open to being represented by acronyms and a rainbow

Awwww Nolan 🥲

Not bad for a day’s work.

MICHAEL 😍😍😍

Pretty shitty that I have to work so I can pay my bills instead of watching baseball all day.

Ok, now it's really Opening Day

It’s Opening Day. I’m ready to get hurt again. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls be plentiful.

My toxic trait is that I love Baja Blast.

Top 3 most painful rejections in my life now includes:

The pure joy that is a perfectly ripe avocado.

Impatiently waiting for the day that all the x-rays I’ve had give me super powers.

DAREDEVIL.

5 on 3 power playyyyy

You ever just want to like… crawl into a hole and stay there?

Me scrolling down the sidebar on Gameday counting the K’s…

Few things annoy me more than when people who arrive after me get taken back for their appointment before me. My punctuality should be rewarded.

Gdi that game took forever. Just like the good ol’ days.

wyd gameday.

Brent Suter doing impressions brings me joy.

No.

My plan for the season was to hate on Soler since Rengifo is gone. Idk if I can do that anymore.

Crisis averted Ducks win in overtime. I’m only half sports depressed now.

Ok this was hilarious timing.