Braden Smith was born to be a member of a mediocre Chicago Bulls team.

If I badmouth Labaron Philon, will that keep him available until the Celtics draft?

So does this mean Jaylen is staying put? I’d be fine with it, but will he? I’m skeptical.

It’s the Snyder Cut.

People say he’s a good liar, but he’s not. He’s just a shameless one. He’s also a walking set of tells. Laughter equals lying.

Congrats, Knicks fans.

Well damn. Go off, sir.

How the hell are the Knicks winning the title? What a weird season.

Brunson traveled tbh.

Your 2026 NBA champs: the New York Knicks.

The Knicks are going to win this series. For the love of God, can Knicks fans stop bitching about the officiating for more than five minutes?

Luke playing like he’s sick.

Harper needs to play 45 minutes in this one.

KAT sucks.

Goddamn I love Dylan Harper.

These live action Disney movies are the worst. Why are we doing this?

What a shot by Harper!

I thought I imagined the OG double dribble, but apparently I wasn’t the only one who saw it. Seemed patently obvious.

I am in no way a Knicks fan, but I’d like to think the spirits of Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis are hanging out in the front row nearby Spike, John Turturro, and Giancarlo Esposito.

I’m looking at an apartment tomorrow, and I just received an email from an AI chatbot named “Emily W.” What does the “W” stand for? Wrong answers only.

So, do we think the Giannis stuff is real? I’m beginning to make my peace with it, either way.

Kudos to whoever did this.

Oof. Tough but fair.

I might actually get my wish. Wow.

Knicks fans right now:

The Knicks right now:

Is Hukporti a real guy? Never heard of him until 15 minutes ago.

KAT wants another foul. He was asking for it there.

Yeah, the Knicks are fucked. Spurs in 6.

Lmao what? That’s not a flagrant? Okay, guys.

The Knicks are playing like absolute dummies. After ALLLLLLL the talk, I find it hilarious. This is your championship squad?

I would like it if the Spurs also won this quarter by 20 so I can turn the game off.

Now can I bitch about calls?

I bet Donald Trump is so mad watching this game at home right now. What’s that? He doesn’t even know there’s a game? Oh okay.

Knicks are playing some dumb basketball. As I said after they lost the other night, will they ever win again?

Sick move by Wemby.

I can’t believe the refs are making every shot for the Spurs like this.

I’m setting the over/under on KAT’s third foul at two minutes.

Knicks fans in my feed already bitching about calls. This game is barely three minutes old. SMH.

If my team had somehow yoked itself to Trump, I’d be preparing myself to lose. Everything he touches, etc.

Truly a nightmare season.

Richard Jefferson needs to stop talking.

KAT’s about to have two fouls in the first minute of this game. That’s the Towns I know.

Dumb foul by KAT in first 30 seconds. Auspicious beginning.

Knicks fans, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate your city. I don’t even hate your team. But your owner? He’s trash. And he’s buddies with our trash president. He brought this bad karma upon you. Anyway, Go Spurs.

Can confirm.

This doesn’t piss me off. It’s just wrong. Trump is the president. He will be until 2029. He’s at the center of Republican politics. He might run again in 2028, whether it’s Constitutional or not. He might stage a coup. No one gives a fuck about Rubio or Vance.

“The deal could happen in five minutes, five days, or five million years. The deal could never happen. Hell, the deal could have already happened. Time is a flat circle is what I’m saying. Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.”

Will the Knicks ever win again?

Trump would never go to an NBA Finals game in Boston, so what would you have to do to equal the bad vibes? Invite Curt Schilling, Carl Everett, the ghost of Whitey Bulger, and the guy who tried to use the American flag as a weapon in the 70s?