good morning everyone i am: ignoring my job, thinking w my cock, staring at pretty pictures on twitter dot com, etc 💖✨

when you're being mean to me, i just want you to know this is who you're being mean to, btw

it arrived btw ✨

i just purchased my first 4k blu ray 💿 and anyone who can guess what it is gets a sexy video ✨😇💖 or like my personal congratulations or a kiss on the mouth if that's more your jam HERE'S A HINT it's from the last decade and isn't on any streaming services as far as i'm aware 🍿🎬

i got a new phone recently and forgot to sign in here for a while but this is the type of shit I've been on recently 😌✨

new hobby i recently acquired is keeping this vibrating thing on my penis and staring at images of beautiful womens faces (the government says im not allowed to get off to anything else?? the labour party is kinky now???)

i cant stop fucking my fleshlight :(

me if i wasn't sick rn youtu.be/6W2N-H-ESI0

dude i swear i promise im chill i understand crypto is for gambling addicts i just need a little bit to buy my estrogen

‼️🔊 AUDIO ON ‼️🔊 listen to how my sunday afternoon is going 🙈😳😩💦

i think im probably going to masturbate a lot while working from home today :)

was he justified??

embarking on a 28 days later rewatch, yalready know it's a 5/5 and a like

take a look at these hands 👋😁👋

making myself laugh by being rude to chatgpt after it helped me write a piece of code that was hard to google

if you see me out in quahog say hi 🛹 but if you meet me at the clam im a talkative guy 🍺

test drive ✨

lets fricken goo

helmet girl will be the death of me

gm everyone

hate that more people are saying they love dark souls 2 now because frankly i don't think most people can pull off having such a contrarian opinion as well as i can, and i fear that it's making me seem less cool when i say i think it's better than ds3

u can just do that. u pay the taxes whats theirs is urs

pro tip no. 592: having trouble keeping it down? keep a baggie of msg on your person to sprinkle on her cock! make sure there's plenty at the base to encourage maximum efficiency.

the last verse of black diamond bay is so real, my ass was literally never going there anyway 💯

need to rewatch Withnail and I.....

(re) watching the doctor who tv movie >:]

just injected estradiol valerate into my body who wanna pin me down or whatever rn,,

cried quite a lot

twin peaks fire walk with me rewatch time :)

t*uching my p*nis rn ..

i cried at the end of season 2 of torchwood ok sue me

i eated 2 much :c

look I'm sorry call me a killjoy if you like but I just cannot suspend my disbelief enough to buy into that tentacle that's moving in and out of your mouth by 3cm really going all the way from your asshole through your intestines up your stomach and out of your throat

woman with a "choking hazard" tattoo above her micropenis

good morning im horny as fuck can a porn sex demon suck my soul out of my urethra real quick please

gm everyone i woke up inside my cock sleeve and need to fuck it now now now now

thanks y'all :>

hey y'all can you send or reply with some porn please I'm trying to do something real quick :)

watching wallace & gromit rn

hiiii everyonr :)

actually the 90s are cool so having being born in the middle of them makes me pretty dang cool too

so was David Bowie a bit of a fascism enjoyer or was it all just jokes or whatever

i fucking love Mercutio in Romeo + Juliet

bate bros and jo buds using a really cute girl's throat to jack it together, but they're so uninterested in her as anything other than a fleshlight that it feels pretty gay. nobody saying "dude look at her tits" because they're saying "fuck yess bro get all the way in there"

went on a walk to do some soul searching and all i found was the realisation that the big silly cute smile i do when i'm getting a photo taken was stolen from a video of bailey jay i saw over a decade ago, wtf

Ughhguhggghghuugghhgghhggyggghhgghhhggghhhhhhhgghhhhhhggghgggghhhhhyhh

12/10 I loved it and I LOVED this guy!!!!!

watching Labyrinth for the first time :)

i love deer with all my heart they're probably my favourite animals, but i don't think i can be a deer girl, because the market is already quite saturated with them, and also i don't think posting videos of my penis on the internet is very deer-like behaviour