What if bad AI writing inadvertently proves the existence of the human soul?

Hey zoomers - pitching at 4:30 today but gonna be on zoom at 6pm pst for one hour to talk TV pitching. Hope to see ya then! (I’ll be going through messages here today to add to the mailing list.)

Tomorrow, Weds May 14 at 5pm PST, free writers zoom where we’ll turn ourselves into a writers room to break a pilot. Hope to see you all there! If you aren’t on mailing list, DM me your email and I’ll add you today!

Jeff Howard, the writer of Haunting Of Hill House, is doing a Free PILOT STRUCTURE ZOOM Weds 5PM PST April 30 If you’re interested DM @jeffreyhoward33.bsky.social to get on the list.

Diana never visually busted my balls harder than when those Irish bastards started singing their folk song.

For the first time in about three months, I can almost kinda smell stuff.

Emails out now, if you didn’t receive let me know!

“You already have one of these at home.”

My grandparents had this hanging in their basement bar through my entire childhood.

John Carpenter day!

John Carpenter day!

JEFF HOWARD SESSIONS UPDATE for all my boomers. Marsha is no longer involved in the sessions, which means you will be dealing directly with me from now on. What this means is -- prices are again CHEAPER, and wait time is at a minimum because I'll be handling the scheduling myself. Thread continues -

They’re gonna take everything out of the Smithsonian except nudes and stuff in gold frames.

Joker pants, get your Joker pants!

“Mr Felt, please describe how Mr Woodward was added to your signal text chain.”

I’ll be there! Will post photos.

Giving myself the grace of a week away from reading news.

A zen koan for you: Stop trying to write a script and start trying to write a movie.

You still think loglines are difficult??

Reading the comments is exactly why I just can’t bring myself to care about this place.

When you skipped transmogrification class one too many times.

Back in 2008, when Obama was running, my L.A dog park friends would circle together and loudly agree with each other about everything. It just wasn’t the same. That’s how Bluesky always feels to me.

Thinking of starting up group class zooms again. One offs for large groups, three-parters for smaller groups. Individual consults to talk story one on one. I keep it cheap and honest. If you’re interested, message me.

The new cover for my horror/romance/romcom novel. Brimstone. :). "True love is going through Hell together." #writersky #writingcommunty #romantasy #writing #amwriting

For the first time in years I just remembered the time I was hooked up with a Real Housewife by a friend. Life is weird.

Hey zoomers — the 50% price reductions over holidays for reads and notes and consults is now permanent. Always here if you need eyes or ears.

“You’re a neat girl, Sandy.”

I just tweeted “I was suddenly overcome with a burst of positivity” to see if the algorithm there is really pulling positivity. Science!

One thing I’ve learned last few years is a tremendous amount of talent is toiling away purely out of passion and hope. Not everyone who deserves it will cross over, but goddammit it’s worth trying!

Arson and climate change aren’t mutually exclusive.

If this is your valet, are you handing over the keys?

I won’t truly panic til they start wearing these.

Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.

I have parents, but I was actually emotionally raised by Paul Westerberg. Happy 65th birthday, I hope you get your wish and are left alone!

Screenwriters, let’s find each other! Tag 5 screenwriters & ADD @tlowrites.bsky.social @kathynguyenli.bsky.social @jeffreyhoward33.bsky.social @redwallpro.bsky.social @analydiamonaco.bsky.social

Coming off Princess Bride, A Christmas Story and Home Alone, showing the boys Paddington tonight. Almost went with Great Mouse Detective.

“What’s Hollywood like?”

Just Duke Ellington in bed with four pints of ice cream.

Lava really plays a key part in kids lives.

A Complete Unknown was execs what I needed it to be.

When I was a kid, my parents would decorate for Christmas early. But they wouldn’t put up the tree til Christmas Eve, and I wouldn’t see it decorated and lit up til Christmas morning. Which made it kinda magical.

Considering getting a construction job to lose weight.

My aunt found this article from the Baltimore Sun about my first screenplay sale in July, 1999. Love how they put the amount in your hometown paper…

The boys are 7 and 4 and really getting into watching movies together. Princess Bride, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (we’d just seen Sonic in theaters) and A Christmas Story in the last couple weeks. This is just so much fun.

Mavis forever!!

When you’re referring to your movie as having “multiple verticals” as opposed to, say, “generating feelings” — you might not deserve to make any more.

Nearly finished my Christmas - Goodfellas mashup, The Three Wise Guys.