the problem with a decade of shitposting and rubbing shoulders with high profile people means now im thinking of reaching out to someone high profile for work but i literally cannot remember if they were once a target of a shitposting campaign i did or not. who remembers anymore

Kinda BS that nobody cares if I call myself a "cat mom" but they act weird when I call myself a "cat MILF"

there’s a bug on my whatsapp restricted to just one friend where every time she sends me a message it replies with a photo of me with an england flag

Question: How to get Keir Starmer to look the most normal he has ever looked in high office Answer: Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol

in absolute tears at this. i’ve never seen keir starmer so happy and genuine before. while being forced to watch ddlj, a bollywood film from 1996

charlie and the chocolate factory remake but with granda joe from instead of grandpa joe

my low stakes conspiracy theory is mounjaro and wegovy get huge media coverage because streeting is using it to test demand for a privatised nhs. every time you order a jab online you provide data to streeting to prove his privitisation case x

baddie mccann

i ordered the dominos paneer pizza and im afraid to say it’s delicious. it’s a throwback to the pizzas id get in india. i recommend it thank you

low stakes conspiracy: britain is becoming purposely shit for younger people in order to tackle net migration numbers and brain drain everyone with the chance in to leaving

idea for a bit: walking the streets of london holding a phone and then the phone gets stolen but the thief realises it’s not a phone, it was cake all along

shabana mahmoods announcement for getting ilr is a criteria that so few brits will meet (no benefits, no criminal record, proof of volunteering) indicating a long term conspiracy theory by mahmood to replace native brits with christians

no hindutvas on here so i won’t get cancelled: i do not understand garba at all. i enjoy dancing but i don’t get why they lose the plot over it. the music is shit and it’s basically just a sober ceilidh. at least the scots lubricate you for their organised fun

rip ming campbell, i was absolutely shocked to hear you were still alive and only 84. you have given me the faith to believe in the mandela effect

the most underrated joke in ba**ds of bollywood is “bharat ka tyre filmfast awards” one of my favourite obsessions is how bizarre indian advertising and brand endorsements are and a tyre company sponsoring the awards is just so on brand it’s killing me

also what happened to the wokey tories? there used to be a bunch of tories who were opposed to fascism and i swear i haven’t heard a peep from them in years

fwiw - the uk’s facism is a actually a tiny proportion of my rising anxiety and fear to survive as a brown woman. the uk is phenomenally less racist to indian people compared to other countries in the west. which is the seed of all of my spiralling anxiety. this is basically the best it will be

just had s flashback to when the worst thing the government did to minorities was theresa may’s “go home” vans and everyone was outraged about it. then theresa may became the most progressive tory choice and one of the least racist prime ministers of the last 15 years.

the state of politics in this country is so bad that im genuinely thinking about supporting the lib dems, something i vowed id never do after *redacted* killed all of those people

Quite. So many Labour people on this website visibly have no idea of just how bad things have got for ethnic minorities since they came on, and how their visible indifference lands.

i got this push notification and thought “omg i bet it’s tom cruise but why does denmark have the intel” and then got disappointed to open the article and see they meant russia

i once went to an asian salon to get my eyebrows threaded. a timid teenage girl walks in and privately mutters something to the receptionist, who sweetly nods at the girl, and then yells ARSEHOLE out loudly in gujarati. i think about this moment so often

with conversations about ilr and citizenship going around: in the last week i’ve been getting really in to the life in the uk test and i genuinely can’t recommend doing some mock tests enough. it’s basically the worst man you’ve ever met going through a tv license complaint writing a pub quiz

if i asked a child to write what happens when a well meaning white as hell party tries to take on fascism, this is what they’d say. they don’t hav a fucking clue what they’re doing because they’re not the targets of the attacks. absolutely mental white people behaviour fr

when i was trying to work out why there were flags in islington there were quite sincere comments in the community groups that it was support for the women’s rugby. pure islington

stop trying to make zoomtopia happen

is the fat controller on mounjaro

i hope this years john lewis christmas ad 00s acoustic pop cover is 7 days by craig david. and the ad is about a guy working as a santa who shags one of his elves for a week

as a vegetarian who has never tasted any goan food before, i just tried to make a vegan chicken xacuti. it’s foul. it’s one of the worst things i’ve ever tasted in my life. was this a good idea? no. no it was not.

saw the long walk yesterday expecting a fun horror and instead seeing a bleak drama on men’s mental health. a good film but a heads up ladies we have a new shawshank which every white man will discuss on first dates as the best film of all time

start up idea: use ai to auto generate thoughts and prayers whenever there’s a new gun crime story in the us. imagine the increase in productivity

sometimes i worry that i call my cat handsome because i prescribe to eurocentric feline beauty standards

something i’ve been thinking a lot about recently: a friend once said it’s difficult to talk about pro trans stuff in the media because the pro side goes “trans people deserve rights” and the anti side makes up something mental in retaliation. i feel like we’re here with immigration

i’ve lost count of the amount of times i’ve watched this

jehovah’s witnesses just knocked on my door and i was so over enthusiastic that they tried to leave but i kept engaging them in chat

anyway instead of posting about how terrified i am of my future as a brown person, here are photos of my cat who’s probably the biggest fascist out there

off brand post from me but i rewatched this is england recently and i ended up crying during combo’s speech. that’s never happened before and i’ve seen the film 100 times. i wonder if it’s the terror of the time we live in or that being older it feels more pertinent?

i will be voting green in the next election to get free h cups

does anyone know what all the flags around islington and clerkenwell is about? twitter says it’s fascists, the islington subreddit thinks it’s for the rugby womens world cup?

i’ve spent most of the last week thinking about this

my low stakes conspiracy theory is there a producer in four in a bed who’s whole job is to take a giant dump just before the guests arrive. why does every episode have a “and there was poo in the toilet” scene and the host is shocked because they personally cleaned that toilet

now reading

im a cool modern western girl who loves western life! i still for some reason get weak at the knees for rabindranath shongeeth. not even independence day related like ekla cholo re is such a banger

i just found dosa in my hair

realised id never looked up kemi badenochs childhood to make assumptions on her dating life based on which eventual north london school she went to, and i genuinely stunned by the reveal of her origin story

nice