eurovision has been such an important and integral part of my life and it ended today. genuinely quite sad

how will billie piper get him out of this one

i thought it would be a good bit to listen to primary school bangers when my partner got home. he ended up coming home late so i sat for about 2 hours listen to children singing hymns and basically went insane

get a cat they said. your house definitely won’t stink of piss because a different cat decided to start a turf war with your cat for your own back door

i once convinced this man that we’d had drinks multiple times and were good friends but he just struggled to tell indian people apart and he believed me x

im an atheist who was raised hindu who’s been getting in to the pope solely through an instagram algorithm of predominately catholic shitposts, and i know substantially more about jesus’s views on welfare from the instagram shitposts than kemi badenoch

We saw you from across the bar and really like your vibe. Can we buy you a drink?

why have i been doing my catholic bit solely on instagram and not on bluesky where 10% of my followers also special interest the church

im low key obsessed with sumit and jenny and its so off brand for me to be in to this that i don’t know anyone who knows who they are

New: Three new ex-pupils come forward, on the record, to say Farage's racism as a teenager was targeted, persistent and nasty. Farage has denied targeting any individuals - but two of the men tell us they recall Farage abusing Peter Ettedgui. w/ Dan Boffey, @drblacklock.bsky.social

the gb news fixation on whitechapel is like 15 years out of date? why are they going on about how bengali it is when it’s in the throes of gentrification and the bengalis are being priced out and replaced by craft ale

biffa bf/veolia gf

i just realised nancy from peep show and sally from flight of the conchords isn’t heather graham and it’s completely broken my mind????

if peep show is anything to go by, dating apps revolutionised dating. sophie has the choice of 2 terrible men, both of whom work with her. and there’s no one else available for her to bone

the trinity (father, son, holy ghost)

anyway this is me

i’ve been feeling ill and sweated through the night with a high temperature. my gross cat has been over the moon about this and has been rubbing himself all over the sheets covered in my night sweats

every time i see someone in a britney spears toxic costume i immediately assume they’re dressed as scooch and im like “damn that is such a niche costume i respect it” especially when it’s an american

It’s impossible to avoid the conclusion that large parts of Westminster remaining on X - a platform that tolerates and amplifies extremism and racism - has led a great many people to normalise what previously was unacceptable.

really had to restrain myself dropping 20 quid on this masterpiece at the church gift shop today

i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this

if my name was charles iii and both charles i and charles ii caused major crises and war due to catholic sympathies, i simply would not publicly pray with the pope.

extremely pleased with my halloween costume

lots of tensions between irish and indians at the moment and i feel we need to focus on our commonalities: we’ve both been oppressed by the british and we both a common enemy: ed sheeran appropriating our culture

something wild is how we culturally and legally see “robbing a bank” as a pretty awful crime with a large sentence. whereas if you scam someone it’s nowhere near as a big a deal because it’s like “well the bank takes the hit” (if you can prove it’s a scam)

the problem with a decade of shitposting and rubbing shoulders with high profile people means now im thinking of reaching out to someone high profile for work but i literally cannot remember if they were once a target of a shitposting campaign i did or not. who remembers anymore

Kinda BS that nobody cares if I call myself a "cat mom" but they act weird when I call myself a "cat MILF"

there’s a bug on my whatsapp restricted to just one friend where every time she sends me a message it replies with a photo of me with an england flag

Question: How to get Keir Starmer to look the most normal he has ever looked in high office Answer: Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol

in absolute tears at this. i’ve never seen keir starmer so happy and genuine before. while being forced to watch ddlj, a bollywood film from 1996

charlie and the chocolate factory remake but with granda joe from instead of grandpa joe

my low stakes conspiracy theory is mounjaro and wegovy get huge media coverage because streeting is using it to test demand for a privatised nhs. every time you order a jab online you provide data to streeting to prove his privitisation case x

baddie mccann

i ordered the dominos paneer pizza and im afraid to say it’s delicious. it’s a throwback to the pizzas id get in india. i recommend it thank you

low stakes conspiracy: britain is becoming purposely shit for younger people in order to tackle net migration numbers and brain drain everyone with the chance in to leaving

idea for a bit: walking the streets of london holding a phone and then the phone gets stolen but the thief realises it’s not a phone, it was cake all along

shabana mahmoods announcement for getting ilr is a criteria that so few brits will meet (no benefits, no criminal record, proof of volunteering) indicating a long term conspiracy theory by mahmood to replace native brits with christians

no hindutvas on here so i won’t get cancelled: i do not understand garba at all. i enjoy dancing but i don’t get why they lose the plot over it. the music is shit and it’s basically just a sober ceilidh. at least the scots lubricate you for their organised fun

rip ming campbell, i was absolutely shocked to hear you were still alive and only 84. you have given me the faith to believe in the mandela effect

the most underrated joke in ba**ds of bollywood is “bharat ka tyre filmfast awards” one of my favourite obsessions is how bizarre indian advertising and brand endorsements are and a tyre company sponsoring the awards is just so on brand it’s killing me

also what happened to the wokey tories? there used to be a bunch of tories who were opposed to fascism and i swear i haven’t heard a peep from them in years

fwiw - the uk’s facism is a actually a tiny proportion of my rising anxiety and fear to survive as a brown woman. the uk is phenomenally less racist to indian people compared to other countries in the west. which is the seed of all of my spiralling anxiety. this is basically the best it will be

just had s flashback to when the worst thing the government did to minorities was theresa may’s “go home” vans and everyone was outraged about it. then theresa may became the most progressive tory choice and one of the least racist prime ministers of the last 15 years.

the state of politics in this country is so bad that im genuinely thinking about supporting the lib dems, something i vowed id never do after *redacted* killed all of those people

Quite. So many Labour people on this website visibly have no idea of just how bad things have got for ethnic minorities since they came on, and how their visible indifference lands.