Funny how the all the people ransacking the Capitol on January 6 were liberals, plants, and ANTIFA—until there was money to be made from it.

A rainy night in the City of Angels. Had I known what would happen in the next 12 hours, I would not have gotten out of bed. But trouble is my business, and business was about to get out of hand.

Today, as usual, I was able to get out of bed unassisted. Additionally, I was able, as usual, to make excellent coffee. My wife suggested that I alert the media.

I know the difference between dirt and soil. (My brother-in-law is a soil scientist, and a very good one). But is there a difference between "dirty" and "soiled?"

I used to think that exercise was boring. Now that I am exercising regularly I can confirm that exercise is incredibly boring.

I like to remember the words of Lincoln's Secretary of State, William H. Seward. "There was always just enough virtue in this republic to save it; sometimes none to spare, but still enough to meet the emergency."

I went to the doctor (you know my doctor, Doctor Vinnie Boombatz) today and he said I needed to cut out drinking, cut out smoking, cut out eating sweets, and out eating red meat. I asked him, "Will that help me live longer?" He said, "No, it'll just seem like it.

Why is it that I think that those Iranian negotiators are really some guys from some Morning Zoo radio show?

Waist deep in the big muddy seems apt.

It is said that the early bird gets the worm. If I were a worm I would sleep in.

Lord, give me strength, or give me bail money.

Somebody please tell me that there is a hotel in Prague called the Czech Inn.

Mstislav Rostropovich should have recorded the J.S. Bach Suites for Solo Cello on Melodiya. Then the album could have been called "Bach in the USSR."

When you hear the words: "Across the frozen tundra..." what are the next words. There is only one correct answer.

I know that this is true because it was on the bulletin board at Publix. I do not give Facebook or meta permission to huff and puff and blow my house down. Nor do I give Facebook or meta permission to adjust the Earth's orbit relative to the celestial equator.

“I believe in the equality of man; and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our fellow-creatures happy.” —Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason: Part 1, 1794

103 years ago today my father was born. If you met him you could not forget him. He was "colorful," to say the least. He never knew a stranger. He could sell a freezer to an Alaska Native, and did!

What's the over/under on the US using nukes? And what is the over/under on Israel and/or Iran using their double-secret, we don't have any, undercover nukes?

I am old enough to remember "No war for Monica."

I promise you that the government that murdered Alex Pretti and Renee Good does not give a flying fuck about the protests in Iran.

Board of PEACE MY ASS!!!

To my friends in eastern North America, fill up your gas tanks, charge your devices, and if you are going to shovel pace yourself and take breaks.

"I know we're lost, but we're making good time." -Yogi Berra 1972

I just saw another video with some doofus yelling, "You're in America, speak English!" I speak enough German & enough Spanish to make myself understood in those languages. I am currently working on Mandarin. But in the places where they speak those languages, everyone was understanding & tolerant.

Is there a class action lawsuit in the works against Intuit and Intuit TurboTax ? Asking for millions of friends.

Why aren't you asking prominent Republicans like Mitt Romney, George W. Bush, or Mike Pence to make statements about the ICE shootings? The Obamas, Kamala, Secretary Pete can't do all the heavy lifting.

The people who spent years defending and even lionizing Kyle Rittenhouse and Ashli Babbitt now want us to believe that an unarmed mother in her car and a disarmed nurse were domestic terrorists who deserved to be murdered by law enforcement.

I wonder if eons ago the planet Venus had massive, thriving, industrial civilization powered by the equivalent of fossil fuels. But the unchecked enviornmental damage by that civilization, in the interest of capitalism, caused the planet to become the inhospitable hellscape it is today.

I have a theory. The Neanderthals disappeared, and the Cro-magnons filled their niche in prehistoric European life. What if the Cro-Magnons (modern humans) killed all the Neanderthals because they were "different?" And that white European penchant for killing and taking was passed down to today?

The sea was angry that day my friends.

I often wonder how much time thag I have left.

With Thanksgiving this week, I have to take time to remember all of the people in my life who were there at just the right time. My life was saved hundreds of times. Either with a job, a hug, cash, moral support, love, or a sympathetic ear. Thank you so much to all of you.

This morning around 6:00AM the birds were chirping, tweeting and singing. And there was one sound that was kind of like the Day of the Triffids. Very peaceful and relaxing. Almost fell back asleep when somebody's rooster clocked in for his shift.

I'm at that awkward age: between 50 and dead. No longer in any desirable demographic.

I went through and eliminated all the porn-bot followers, and now I have no engagement at all.

Wow! Those face eating leopards seem to be pretty weoo-fed these days.

It's no secret that Melania hates decorating the East Wing for Christmas. Is this demolition just an excuse for her to not be bothered with it? Thank you for your attention to this matter.

The White House claims that doctors say he had the heart of a man in his mid-sixties. Unfortunately, that man is in the ICU at Cedar-Sinai.

Lots of thoughts and prayers to all the casualties, orphans, and people left homeless in war ravaged Portland as you dig yourselves out of the rubble and wreckage of what remains of your once beautiful city. You will never be forgotten.

He could count to three and get two of the numbers wrong.

I have approximately 50 baseballs autographed by classical music artists. All A-list. I am trying to figure out what to do with them as I don't want to ship them to Taiwan. Any suggestions?

Who remembers 'New Coke?" Then the reintroduction of "Coca-Cola Classic" and the massive surge in sales? Put that in your cracker barrel.

After Black Panther made his first appearance in his own comic in October 1976, Jack Kirby was told by his editors that he needed to have more white characters. Jack Kirby agreed, and in the next issue he had Black Panther beat up the KKK. - funfactswithjim

Is it ironic that because of the lack of, allegedly, undocumented workers in the hospitality, construction, and agriculture sectors, and Americans unwilling to do that work for those wages will cause the Federal Minimum Wage to be increased? I added the gif of puppies to get your attention.

Frozen green peas taste better than canned green peas. Canned green beans taste better than frozen green beans. Canned and frozen corn taste about the same. Asparagus and Brussels sprouts can just save time and becone mulch as soon asap. Maybe use that mulch to grow peas, green beans, & corn.

The old advice us "find your own voice." I really wish that more people would find Marcel Marceau's, and not Monsieur Le Petomane's.

This honest to God happened. I was at the supermarket. The cashier had her name, Mickey, on her tag. I asked, "How y'doin Mickey?" She deadpanned to me."I'm so fine I blow your mind."

Today is August 8th. It is the Taiwanese unofficial Fathers Day. The Chinese word for eight is "ba". August 8th would be "baba" (八八) the word for papa is "baba" (爸爸). So unofficially it's fathers day. Zany linguistics.