also speaking of christmas playlists i feel like “step into christmas” doesn’t get enough play. it rips.

every playlist i’ve gone through on my old ipod has at least one fountains of wayne song. including my christmas 2006 playlist. i stand by those choices and will return to that rule in future playlists.

if you need to look at a really big pomelo and a pug mix, here you go

my current husband: 🎶 christmas time is here, christmas time is queer, get used to it, get used to it, i’m gonna S some Ds 🎶

i’ve been getting my hair cut by the same person since i was 19 and he made me confirm i’m not on my period before doing giving me a different haircut than the one I’ve been getting for like 6 years and that is one of the reasons i trust him so much

i have been seeing trailers for ella mckay for the last 40 years. i will see them for the rest of my life. i don’t believe it’s actually being released in theaters because that’s not the point of the movie. the point is to bombard you with trailers each worse than the last. and also a shoe.

my fancy chocolates budget is firmly in dril candles territory.

i don’t like when the heat is on in the car!!!! it makes me feel feverish and evil!!!!!!!

i love whenever an extruder shows up on how it’s made. i start cheering like my favorite actor is making a cameo.

ok so i saw wicked 2: wickeder and did not have a good time but the funniest part was the staging choice for the horny song where they’re not even in frame together for most of it. when she’s like “i can’t believe i’m here holding you” and neither can i, because you aren’t doing that at all actually

slappey peaches, painted by mary daisy arnold, 1937

i’m having a flight of soups tonight

i am watching back 3 the future for the first time. quick question, why does his great great grandma mcfly look like his mom, who was not originally a mcfly. why is this trilogy so much about inbreeding.

feeling panicked seeing all these holiday dogsitter requests in neighborhood groups. friends, you are late to the game. gotta lock that shit down in october.

i am once again having to spend significant time figuring out how much lead i am comfortable eating regularly

bread and butter go very well together fyi

all i ever want to do is shred papers. leave me alone to my tasks.

It's with heavy hearts that we share that Claude, our beloved albino alligator, has passed away at the age of 30. Claude brought joy to millions of people at the Academy and across the world during his 17 year tenure. We will miss him dearly. 🤍

i should get to do this for the rest of the year and decade

i am on a mary limo!

if it’s at all within your control please don’t die young. your mom might post one of your thirst traps on facebook as a memorial act and you won’t even be around to laugh at it. you gotta stay here.

i don’t often drink soda but when i do i want a sprite if i’m feeling celebratory and a diet coke when i’m feeling like a girlboss (very derogatory). a root beer is for when i am feeling like i wish i had a full mustache and ginger ale is for when i’m on a plane or when i need spiritual guidance.

i’m already married and i eloped so i’m offering this to someone else: walk down the aisle to the inspector gadget theme song.

every time i win an auction on shopgoodwill dot com i feel that i genuinely understand gambling. i also realize i should never ever gamble for real. i got a stunning vintage coat for basically a song and i feel like i can eat a car.

huge news. got a paper shredder at an estate sale. having the time of my life. shredding documents. i’m gonna write my SSN on a sheet of paper then put it in there just for fun.

the traditional thanksgiving meal should be a seafood tower. i’m burdened with perfect thoughts like that one.

the neighborhood coffee shop was open yesterday and people brought food for a big free buffet and it was packed with neighbors hanging out and chatting. community rules and is necessary.

i’m thankful for my current husband who just told me he started watching chernobyl without me partially so that he could warn me before any puking scenes when we watch it together.

haters just found out i purchased an interesting sweater online. they’re upset.

plz enjoy my son eating his favorite food which is apple

pomegranate seeds are good as hell. persephone did nothing wrong.

i had garlic noodles and two expensive cocktails the world is so beautiful to meeeeeee

i am currently trapped under an emotionally fragile 20lb dog because the dishwasher is running and he has to lie on top of me until it’s over

i admire conor o’malley for testing the limits of what a man can do and still have everyone screaming WOULD. no amount of viscosity or screaming will stop us.

my dog cannot protect me. he is afraid of the dishwasher.

in a coliving situation it's good for one person to be tall to reach stuff and one person to be short to weaponize righteous indignation.

i should be allowed to smoke cigs again with no ill effects. i quit so long ago. i’ve put in so much time as a non smoker. i hate it. i want to be cool again. i’m not GOING to i just WANT to.

me when i’m cranky that circumstance mean i have to take the bus: ugh. dammit. guess i have to take the bus. me when i’m actually on the bus: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

i am literally on the bus

please enjoy this trique

@billhookunion.beanyear.com hello! were you still planning on selling mesquite powder a la carte? and if not, does your source sell consumer volume? i’m hooked now! also the last bean box was fun and the cacahuates japoneses are tasty as hell.

running through the streets asking everyone if they’ve heard the good news about my dog. he’s so handsome and he loves apples.

my contribution

i don’t like when i can tell someone calls rideshares everywhere. busless behavior.

the west wing is a show about the first lady’s cleavage

sorry to keep posting about later west wing but i have to emphasize again that john wells’ sexuality is all wrong for this. this isn’t a show written by a straight man. this is a show written by a man who can’t get off unless he’s screaming his own name with an emmy statue somewhere unmentionable.

my current husband is unwilling and possibly unable to stop doing a big bopper impression. i am suffering from the same affliction. our household is in shambles.

this is the farthest i’ve ever gotten in the west wing (just started season 7, prior to this i never finished season 5 because i was too busy screaming YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD whenever john wells’ name showed up on screen) and tbh i do think the show needs aaron sorkin’s specific thing to work well

throwing ass to the west wing theme song