Really wasn’t prepared for the cum play in chapter 94 of Moby Dick

I now have an informed negative opinion of Wuthering Heights

I’ve been sick so just dipping my toe into the Olympics - have we honored the 12 year anniversary of the most significant moment in sports?

Paid a stranger on the internet $40 to make art

My phone made a video out of pictures of @tangiblegary.bsky.social and one of our cats and the song on it is We Go Together from Grease and I cried

We’re locked in

I’ve cried twice in my car over Louis Tomlinson this morning, how’s everyone else doing

Nothing makes library teens more angry than when they ask if I have anything to drink and I say there’s a water fountain

I did not enjoy Netflix's People We Meet on Vacation. Hopefully future Emily Henry adaptations will manage to have some life to them. dimthehouselights.com/2026/01/peop...

Have you ever feared that a romance author is setting up a future book with characters who have the same names and you and your mother

He just turned to me and asked, “Am I allowed to be in love with dead women? Am I allowed to say ‘awooga Barbara Stanwyck?’” so don’t believe a word of this

I’m the calmest I’ve ever been

“Are you staring at the wall, thinking dreamily about Heated Rivalry?”

If I spell your unusually spelled name correctly in an email, you need to spell my unusually spelled name correctly in your response.

🚨🚨🚨 A woman at Giant Eagle said Chris and I are a cute couple, I could lift up a car rn 🚨🚨🚨

You gotta keep asking your partner to tell you about the early days of your relationship from their perspective, cause Chris just dropped new lore nine years in. This is why we do it

Got to give myself one of my favorite feelings (an unread Kate Clayborn book) and I am now experiencing one of my least favorite feelings (no unread Kate Clayborn books)

The idea of Leonardo DiCaprio knowing what Shut Up and Dance is is just mindboggling to me

Told my wife I was going to “finally check out 3 Women” and she started crying

I think @chels725.bsky.social is a cool person and vastly underrated by her peers

Please, no spoilers, she reads very slowly (she’s just a baby)

Event of the season for those with the eyes to see it

Pencils has declared the beginning of cozy girl fall

🚨 Had to clean up a used condom in the library study room and I still have 2.5 more hours of work 🚨

It’s time for my favorite game: how long can I resist reading the new Kate Clayborn? This game has a winner and a loser and they’re both me, because once I read it, I don’t have a new Kate Clayborn to read.

@notajenny.bsky.social and @jaimepoland.bsky.social have reached the game-changing “Cooler” in their #NewGirl rewatch. Since there is so much to say, this is part 1! Listen as they talk about Nick’s coat, Winston’s love life & everyone’s favorite (fake) drinking game. 🎧: linktr.ee/andarewatchpod

DK says trans rights

@tangiblegary.bsky.social your posts have running commentary on movies but not on your beautiful wife. why is this?

The vet called my cat “middle aged”

@tangiblegary.bsky.social you gotta skeet more about loving your wife, people might not know

Why did I choose to say “intermittent” to a patron when I know that I’m not 100% sure how to pronounce “intermittent”

I made the broadcast though. @johndemarsico.bsky.social enters his Dudes Rock era with this image

Somebody needs to find me the clip of Chris on the SNY broadcast tonight or I’m gonna crash out so bad

So it’s called Mutually Assured Destruction and it’s what if Mark and Eduardo were serial killers and they started Facebook as a way to find victims and

MATERIALISTS: Like if every conversation in YOU’VE GOT MAIL was about e-mailing

Today, when I complimented the pretty pink dress of a seemingly gender expansive child I see occasionally at the library, they hit me with a “THANKS IT HAS POCKETS” ✨💃🏼👯‍♀️

Today at work I’ve: implicitly been accused of exposing children to harmful violent media; had to endure an old man changing my tempo during storytime; and, worst of all, I got a lil cut on my finger. Buy your local librarians a treat, they probably have a lil cut on their finger.

Boys be like “Knicks in 7” but then get all sad when the Knicks lose one of the 3 required games to make it Knicks in 7

My hobbies include watching book characters named Jaime be called Jamie by fans 🥲

Baby, why don’t you come over?

This week in their #NewGirl rewatch, @notajenny.bsky.social and @jaimepoland.bsky.social have reached the truly fun “Pepperwood.” They discuss a very flirty Nick/Jess story, the hilarious B-plot, and how this episode sets up “Cooler.” 🎧: linktr.ee/andarewatchpod

Is MLB The Show just fix-it fic for boys

Did you guys know that the song isn’t called the Cuban Shuffle

So far 32 seems to involve a lot of putting your left foot in cat vomit and your right foot in cat pee

Put the teenagers at the library on blast today

Today my new teen volunteer told me he didn’t know the library had manga, he thought libraries just had “like, literature kinds of books, like erotic novels.”

Can’t even count how many old ladies at the library are obsessed with tracking the progress of the cough I’ve had for a month

Took Chris about 30 minutes of The Pitt to realize Noah Wyle is hot

Chat*, are we cooked? *vice president, secretary of defense, guy from The Atlantic