THE NUANCE IS BLAMING A TRANS GIRL FOR YOUR CHILD NOT BEING GOOD AT SPORTS BECAUSE REPUBLICANS NEED PARTICIPATION TROPHIES FOR EVERY GOD DAMNED THING.

The best breakfast joint is me.

Our local wrestling promotion wheeled a ring into the parking lot of a local grocery store last summer and I'm confident the 2-3 five minute matches drew a bigger and more passionate crowd.

Trans rights are human rights. It hurts because the pedos used legal means to fix a problem that should have been fixed with understanding. People can live together just fine. Republican strategy is literally picking on the smallest and playing victim. Their humiliation will be great tv.

I've spent the past two weeks learning Bridge. You know, the card game. It's EXCELLENT. The game is fun and engaging, the bidding is deeply psychological. But the biggest lesson I've learned from learning Bridge is that nobody fucking plays it anymore...

Guys, it's fucking hot outside.

Bowens with the boxer robe works. He looks more like a legit fighter than Hook, who looks like what you'd get if Rufio from Hook was allowed to say "fuck." #aewcollision

You may be thinking, "why would a sack of potatoes resting on a veggie drying mat would be irregular?" If you look closer, you can see it's actually a cat, and not a sack of potatoes.

You know what I hate about phones? Nobody reads on busses/trains/airplanes anymore!! I remember having to take a long, indirect train ride home from college. I had nothing. No Nintendo DS, no mp3 player. The shitty train station had $1 paperbacks. It was maybe the best return on investment ever.

Can people stop censoring swear words. Oh my god. Saying "f*ck" instead of "fuck" doesn't do anything! Just don't swear! It's okay not to, in fact, it's probably better. But don't pretend something is preventing you from or that you can't bring yourself to swear. Youth Group AIM shit.

The BEST versions of Poirot are now as follows: 1) The version I read. Still the best. Strange, well dressed but not conventionally handsome 2) The version from the kids book I got for my kid (homeboy looks like he just found $5 and the carnival's in town!) 3) David Suchet - best real person

My son and I make the best ice cream. You'd think the secret ingredient is love, but it's actually vanilla pudding mix.

How does a simple jostle of a jukebox bypass payment? Why brandish the comb, when you have perfect hair? What must Potsie sit upon? Guys, it's time we know the truth.

You guys aren't gonna believe this, but they got fucking Batman on screen RIGHT NOW. Incredible stuff.

I'm just catching up on #aewcollision, so Athena vs Maya was spoiled for me, but I'll be damned if I'm not SCREAMING. A lot of personality out of Maya. Fucking Athena, man. She sold the kick out like she was gonna vomit. And Maya's finish. And the beat down. Solid Gold. Give it all to Maya.

After last week's AEW Dynamite, a fan with autism had the chance to meet Will Ospreay. She posted it on her Instagram.

I know I've been ranting about mysteries a lot lately, I'm filling a library, deal with it. Anyway, my wife has never read, nor has she had the twist spoiled for The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. We read aloud together sometimes. I don't do voices... But baby, I been practicing for this for DECADES!

Kindle offering me cheap Kindle books is a weird way for Kindle to make up for breaking my Kindle.

Shit, do we need to surrender to the View and give them $300B, too?

If you replace the words "people voting" with "Bigfoot" the message remains unchanged.

The only thing I've been watching from the World Cup is folks from other places going and getting food from local taco stands and barbeque joints and hot dog stands and just fucking screaming. Hell yeah brother, we got some good ass sandwiches and stuff here!

What's wrong, Rocket? Did you get old and fat and not think this through?

Who is your favorite detective? I'm trying to expand my library's mystery shelf and I love a good sleuth.

I forget these things exist for years at a time, but they're, like, the best kitchen gizmo.

We need to be speaking about Kristen Bell in the same conversations we have with top comedians like Betty White/Carol Burnett/Dick Van Dyke. She's not becoming that type, she is in that middle part they make the documentaries about for her 80th. That kicks ass. She has that ageless quality.

Everybody's asleep and I'm craving plain ass basmati rice. Now, you'd think that'd be easy. Rice cooker doesn't make much noise. Well, not to brag, but I am vigilant about burning the shit out of myself every time I use stupid cursed gizmo.

THANK you, KTLA

Omar likes wrestling. Great stuff.

I grew up a fan of Macho Man. I love a psychotic good guy. This man knows exactly what he's up to.

The way they deal with large crowds is to separate one person and assassinate them. Can we use people who aren't trained to deal with large crowds?

Finally read the Maltese Falcon and holy shit. If you thought the movie kicks ass (and it very much does), the book blows it out of the water. A must read, in my opinion.

Literature.

I was the world's most sensitive kid. Who the fuck bought this for me?!

My parents were told I had ADD (Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, now called ADHD) when I was a kid. I never got diagnosed. However I'm starting to think they blamed me for it. This was in a box of old books.

Found a box in my parents garage. It was my book fair books. Tons of them...but I got some CLASSICS.

Honestly, no more Poirot adaptations. The '74 Murder on the Orient Express was great, Suchet was great, but I don't NEED an on screen Poirot. Poirot is probably my favorite fictional detective, and you know who portrays him best? Poirot, as interpreted by my brain.

There's probably some feature where I never get invited to one because my bubble is a different color and also I don't have any friends.

I've spent the last few week raving about how tired I am of adaptations. Then my wife pointed out that I'm full of shit because my favorite noir film is based on a book I've never read. If you're going to talk a big game, show gratitude when you're called out. I get to read the Maltese Falcon!!

I just found out that's there's a religious cult in my area. Guy who runs it has a profile about himself on the website and I'm currently looking up HOW illegal it is for an adult to depants another adult. Eh, fuck it, it's probably not jail time.

Jericho may look good, but he's still absolutely a vacuum of fun for me. The story is very Jericho. It's a babyface who acts like a middle school bully and we're still expected to cheer for him. Because he tells us he's cool. I love Ciampa, but pass. I hope I'm in the minority on this #aewdynamite

I say this a lot, but it's crazy to think Ciampa used to be boring as shit in WWE. #aewdynamite

I'm buying physical copies of my ebooks (and a very fuck you to Bezos), this is the only one I was worried about not getting. It's banged up, but it's mine, baby!! It's fun watching the Mystery section of our library grow. Turns out I read more Mystery than Sci-Fi! This one intersects...

Okay, is this Trojan horse-shaped popcorn bucket actually filled with popcorn or is it filled with tiny Greek men who will destroy my city

The following is a list of all the tv shows I can think of from my childhood where the premise is that it is a younger/baby version of an established franchise: - Muppet Babies - James Bond, Jr. - Young Indiana Jones Chronicles - The Flintstone Kids - A Pup Named Scooby-Doo - Tiny Toon Adventures

I'm turning into that guy from the Twilight Zone episode. Apocalypse is happening, I've got a backlog of books to last me my next few lives...but I bought backup pairs of glasses. See? You learn stuff from tv!

Uh...I mean, yeah, it's a measure or ten worse than snake oil salesmen or the people who ring your doorbell to sell you lawn treatments during dinner. It's racism. Objectively, racism is incredibly bad for a society. Like, corrosive.

AEW Ciampa is the best on the mic, the best in ring, the best presentation, and one of the best theme songs. Nobody questions it either. He's just really that cool. Great for us, the audience, but he just looks like he's having so much fun, and that's even better. #aewcollision

Gonna be real honest, STP needs to topple the Death Riders. Far more interesting characters, and far more consistent on the mic. Both teams are stellar in the ring (the Death Riders are stupid, the performers are all great) #aewcollision

Chillin' with my homegirl, Miri. She's 90. Hey stand is Victorian.

ALL BOOK ART IS THE SAME THREE PRINTS OF LITTLE WOMEN AND SENSE AND SENSIBILITY. Give me Poirot in beachwear you cowards!