I mean this in the straightest way possible, but every Kyle Fletcher match is an absolute thrill for my penis. In like, a straight way. #aewcollision

Holy SHIT, I really love Dalton Castle and the Outrunners. I figured I would, because they're both big flamboyant acts...but they're dynamite in the ring. Their gimmicks and styles are PB&J. #aewcollision

Bowens is so fucking great, man. I get that they're trying to turn him heel, but he's still the guy. #aewcollision

Fucking Max Caster, man. He is a total bozo and he sucks, so why am I cheering for him? He has undeniable charisma, but like, it's the charisma of the rich kid in highschool who sold weed. He sucks, but why is he an undeniable babyface? #aewcollision

I have a lot of tolerance for religious bullshit that isn't mine. Dude helped you change a tire and you think they're an angel? Sure! Why not? It's the pointless lying, "My son said the Christ child suffered for us, so he'll eat his veggies tonight" stuff NEVER sounds remotely real. Like, why?

This is the most important thing I can possibly post. This book is called Tuesday. It's wordless, and super fun. We listen to "Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner when we read it, and the experience is UN FUCKING BEATABLE.

As someone who has lived in places where every hour a church blasts out a full three minute ding dong solo: Get fucked. You're saying it because they're brown, you insecure toad. Minor annoyances aren't news stories, you babies...

Actual Dad here, Vaccines/Tylenol are safe. Am I a doctor? No, but my pediatrician is. Trump is a con artist, racist, felon, and game show host. RFK is a loser conspiracy theorist who had a worm eat his brain. Not doctors. You gain nothing from choosing to be as stupid as them.

Today we were early for preschool. My son gets nervous, like me. My parents did their best, but didn't see the anxiety. I still get it before work. I wasn't taught coping skills. I turned on the Humpty Dance and we danced the scariest away in the parking lot. Embarrassing? No. That's Dadding.

Just secured our AEW World's End tickets. And we're excited. But we're about to catch absolute, unrelenting, unforgiving HELL from my 3 year old the second he finds out. This might be the first time I use Cameo...I have a water-tight idea.

Saw a thread on Reddit about getting caught "making whoopie." Young people telling horror stories about their parents catching them in high school and other common situations. Wait until you dicks learn about kids. "What are you doing?!" isn't rhetorical, and you are expected to have an answer.

I'm still hung up on Trump crying over an escalator stopping. He could have nearly appeared human if he just laughed it off. The reason he's getting roasted is because he wants to make an incredibly minor snafu into an international incident because he's an insecure weiner.

Look, flamethrowers are cool, BUUUUuuUuuUUUuuut... One girl standing in front of an army with two fingers up should have been THE parting shot. #aewdynamite

This small town children's park district dance class isn't ready for a three year old monster truck loving kid and his wrestling fan dad. Get ready to see some grace, motherfuckers.

Bandido just cleaning up everybody, landing on his feet, and dropping his taunt really shows that he's both an incredible athlete, and a dick when he plays video games. #aew

I feel like every time I see Bryan Danielson on screen, it's like when my friend's older brother came downstairs during sleepovers. Like, yeah, Nate was sent down to keep an eye on us, but he was cool as shit, did karate, and honestly, was a welcome part of the sleepover. #aew

Getting caught up on September to Remember. This promo is the first time I've believed Big Bill. But also, I'm ready for Eddie's reality-bending storytelling. I love how it's not just that he thinks it's real, it's that he convinces you it is. Eddie's the best, man. #aew

Timeless Toni retains (I'm at least 51% sure), but literally all of them deserve it. This match has a LOT of a lot, and it's going to be a big fun mess.

james cameron walks up to whiteboard with TOEJAM and EARL written on it. he erases the "and" and writes Vs.

Fucking shit, Queen Aminata continue to just terrifying me. She might be my new favorite. #aewdynamite

Bryan Danielson on commentary is like being on the phone with your uncle who makes his own edibles. It's delightful, you love him dearly, and among the mystifying nonsense is some pretty decent wisdom from a clearly intelligent person. #aewdynamite

I love that MJF's job has been choosing people who are amazing at their own specific thing, and showing that his style not only meshes with theirs, but his involvement is better for both wrestlers. He really is something. #aewdynamite

I've never really found a foothold on Roddy Strong's character, but he is absolutely unreal from bell to bell. #aewdynamite

I like Men's World Championship, but honestly, just name the divisions. Knockouts is OBJECTIVELY a silly name, but you'd never change it now, because, look who has held that belt! Names give divisions a Championship belt. And World Champ should be mixed because, y'know, world. All. #aewdynamite

HINGMAIN!!!! #aewdynamite

This is as good as any Christopher Guest movie. The oblivious character's big moment. I mean, it sucks because we're in danger, but this woman is incredibly stupid.

So I watched the Sandman/Toni interview, and it was delightful. I hope they stay in touch. Not necessarily to do another show, but it seemed like they really get a kick out of each other.

Seeing multiple videos and reports about Elgin and West Chicago. Everyone... 4th Amendment: No unreasonable search and seizures without a warrant signed by a judge. 5th Amendment: Refusal to answer questions or provide testimony, the right against self-incrimination. Dont let them in. Film them.

I guess I'm being critical here because I watch a lot of wrestling, but the "hurry up and wait" is bonkers. A play takes 4 seconds, we watch 17 replays from different angles in slow motion so we vaguely see what we're told is happening. Tv football really makes a case for radio football.

I'm trying to watch football. I want to know more about sports so my son doesn't end up missing a third of the conversations his friends have like I did. There are a lot of commercials.

I don't care for the Death Riders, but there is 0 reason not to have Marina holding a mid-card belt that she defend regularly, without missing anything involving the Death Riders. Especially if she gets busted open. Legitimize her character, she's almost perfect #aewcollision

I'm sure Okada's best matches are well behind him (god knows he's given us PLENTY), I'm glad he and Oku are doing this. They're peanut butter and jelly. Oku paced it really nicely to make Okada look lightning quick. Collision has really become a staple of my Saturday night. #aewcollision

FTR is like Bulk and Skull from Power Rangers. Like, yeah, obviously they're great, but goddamn we sure get A LOT of them #aewcollision

Why the fuck does Jerry Lynn look so fucking good? Like, why is 60-something dude rocking something 90% of the world would pay for? No, you're hard. Shut up. You noticed it too. #aewcollision

AEW could make big money on a 30min sitcom of Harley Cameron's life as the Cat. But like 90s TGIF style, but the lessons are ambiguous or troubling. #aewcollision

I'm seeing a lot of poo-pooing of these 4v4, 5v5, etc, all-star fake money prize matches, but I'll be honest, there SHOULD be more women's matches; a roster like this and it should be 50/50 with men's...but I really like these matches a lot. #aewcollision

Ah hell yeah, Harley's here! #aewcollision

AEW has gotten Toni Storm so right. When her music hit, I was like, "oh hell yeah, TIMELESS TONI STORM is here?!" You know, not that she isn't literally the main character of the brand or anything. #aewcollision

THESE are the sorts of matches I was looking for in Bowen's singles run. Hard hitting, old school, ass-kicking, are-they-dead?! energy. Takeshita had his hand raised, but nobody lost that match. Bowens looked like a million bucks, and Takeshita keeps proving why he's in his spot. #aewcollision

I'm calling it now. The term "airborne SSRIs" will start being used. It will never make sense, and people will cling to it like chem trails and flat earth nonsense, because starting with 9/11 "Truthers" stupid people cannot apologize or amend statements. Only commit to stupidity harder.

Your move.

Nobody Nyla's as hard as Nyla. What a badass.

M by Elegance is becoming one of my faves. She's stellar in the ring, but her physical storytelling is also brilliantly over-the-top. She gives two full performances without sacrificing either. #tnaimpact

Leon on commentary was an 10/10 idea. He's not Leon Slater the wrestler, this is the fan. He's watching like a hawk, connecting stories, and adding to the conversation. This is all very real for him, and it's paying off. The belt fits him nicely. I think he can make it what it was again. #tnaimpact

A 10 man match and the crowd is cheering for Brodido. For real, TK, these are our non-world champ faces. But also, they can slot in everywhere. Brody is the bad guy that bad guys fear, and Bandido is a folk hero. They are not traditional main event faces, but listen to those cheers! #aewdynamite

The "Hardcore" matches today are parodies of what we grew up on, and thank god for that, but I'll be damned if I didn't smile all the way through that. It's ok if it's a little Bugs Bunny, there's room for that in wrestling. #aewdynamite

Shelton vs Ricochet was really fun. Both super talented, so the obvious stuff was as great as you'd hope. But Ricochet's goofy prick character makes Shelton look like a god, and Shelton Benjamin already looks unrealistically perfect. #aewdynamite

How is this in any fucking way preferable to "nobody has guns?"