“i’m gonna start a gofundme for a sandwich” “…like, to buy lunch? or are you trying to financially support a sandwich?”

that little fucker saw his shadow 😒

okay snow you can go away now

took a pic in my gma’s hospital bed in case i ever need an excuse to get out of something (she’s fine)(she got a brand new knee)

here’s a skeet

statistically speaking, you could probably win a lot of money if you just bet the opposite of my sports bets

“Man Invents New Language Only To Find Out Pig Latin Already Exists”

🚨JAGS WIN THE DIVISION🚨

toby jones jump scare i think letterboxd is lying to me

panic attack to round out the year

happy birthday goat 🐐

why does this picture from christmas look like i’m Pledging Allegiance to My Brother Will

2k26 on the og nintendo switch is wild

the odds that a character actually says “ we’ve seen stranger things than this…” in the series finale have skyrocketed

🎵do you remember the 23rd night of december🎵 or however it goes idk

i have been bad at watching christmas movies this holiday season i apologize and i promise to do better in the future

THE JAGUARS ARE GOOD AT FOOTBALL

i’ve been sick for days pls send me your energy

naps are hilarious. “this will either solve all of my problems or make everything so much worse.”

they fucking blew it of course

the GOAT is wrestling his final match tonight 🙏 (it should’ve been against CM Punk, but that’s besides the point)

getting back into dos2 immediately LET’S GOOO

soup

if coca-cola is bad for you then why does it taste like that?

the proof is in the pudding? who put it in there?

i now have access to playing baldur’s gate while laying in my own bed

judging at my old high school’s speech and debate tournament aka the closest i’ll ever get to going to a class reunion

after you turn 30, you have disadvantage on constitution saving throws against hangovers

don’t track my internet activity except for every song i have ever heard

one alcoholic drink and i begin liking and replying to ig stories like they were direct messaged to me

toosii signing to play college football at syracuse sounds like a madlibs sentence i hope he scores one million touchdowns

we’re a couple of days away from Netflix lying and saying “over 1 BILLION people have watched the new Stranger Things!”

burgs, bowling, and drinks at the flea! what a birthday! shoutout to the number 30

bingo brunch was rigged against us

cunk on marvel

in high school i wore a suit every weekend to debate tournaments. me today: “i think i have dress pants? somewhere?”

just remembered i was supposed to see T-Pain in concert in 2020 but then the world ended

tfw it is now the month in which i turn 30

who is hall and why are we talking about their o’ween

thinking about the 2007-08 denver nuggets today

bluesky changed the blue. what’s next, a new sky?

dating sucks so bad i’m gonna start looking into arranged marriages

seasonal depression is bout to start putting up numbers

in case you needed another reason to throw anthony fantano off of a bridge, he gave the new tame impala album a bad review

holy shit no fuckin way

oh shit y’all they brought the price down!

dnd group finally got together after months of scheduling conflicts

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN: “Oh! I’m in a Dungeons & Dragons group, too. But we’re doing an official, prewritten adventure.” [FRASIER SCOFFS] FRASIER: “Prewritten! The storyteller’s crutch.” BEAUTIFUL WOMAN: “I’m the storyteller.” FRASIER: “… And what is a crutch if not a timeless and wonderful invention?”

JAGS END THE DYNASTY

thanks grandma