"I'm not the Mayor of Pantsington," the Mayor protested.

Yes, by all means, Democrats, whatever you do, in the middle of Trump's SOTU speech, DO NOT stand up and yell, "QUIET PIGGY," unless you want to be the frontrunner for the 2028 presidential nomination.

I carried my copy of The Talisman with me all my sophomore year in high school and wore a hole in the dust jacket with my sweaty palm. I'm out of my mind excited that the third Talisman book, Other Worlds Than These, is coming in October!

Age Verification? I never had a booster seat. Me and my sister just laid down in the back of Mom's station wagon, rolling and jostling and sliding like it was a carnival ride.

I'm okay with this. I'm one of the few who absolutely despises the Darabont movie's rotten cynical ending which proved the hysterical religious zealot was right all along. King's story offered a faint spark of hope. That was snuffed out by the hubris of the director.

Age verification? My first car had an ashtray, a full-sized spare tire, and zero airbags.

Mamdani apparently just pulled the kid out of the Omelas hole. Turns out we could've done it anytime

Sometimes my inner voice adopts a Scottish accent. No idea why.

Buzz Aldrin knew what to do with conspiracy theorists. youtu.be/wCvhpxznQWo

You put the boom-boom into my heart

Oh hello Child With Diabetes In A Disaster Movie. I look forward to your medical crisis in act three.

And this your mountainish inhumanity.

I'm going to have a cookie and watch The Muppet Show.

Slow down, Reality—I can only write dystopian fiction so fast.

I look forward to seeing which body fluid/solid is ejected in next week's A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.

what if i just have cake for lunch?

I thought One Battle After Another was supposed to be a comedy? Gave up after 45 minutes. Choppy story telling and a cruel, icky vibe. Felt like it worshiped 70s antihero films but didn't understand anything beyond the aesthetics.

This is a public service announcement... You have a right Not to be killed Unless It was by a policeman or an aristocrat The Clash tried to tell us.

Dog doesn't eat: Call whatever the pet equivalent of Life Flight is. Cat doesn't eat: Apologize to the cat for serving substandard fare.

Wonder Man is an extraordinary meditation on the creative life. It's especially wicked if you've been in the biz.

Not only can ICE not be reformed, I'm starting to think Democrats can't be reformed.

hi friends, i've put together a short collection of SFF stories and set it free—i hope it can give you some encouragement, a smile, or even just a pause in the doomscrolling. art is resistance. <3 🐺 📚 ko-fi.com/s/f0da603a0d <— support/PWYW (free!) tiny.cc/2q7y001 <— direct download

There's more knight dork in this show than I expected.

"I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota" sure lands different now.

In Texas waiting for the ice storm. Not used to temperatures going DOWN during the day.

Double negative opt-in/out. What am I not opting in for?

Sort of enjoying DEPT. Q but I keep wanting the lead to be David Tennant.

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

I know JDA is just trying to troll-bait people into engagement but if I were writing a satire and I came up with "giving He-man pronouns" I'd be extremely satisfied with myself. That's legitimately funny.

Having your hero pass out during the climactic battle and wake up in the hospital days later feels less like a dramatic choice and more like a "we didn't have the budget for the battle sequence" choice.

<The Hague puts trophy under box propped up with stick> Hey Mr. President we totally have a peace prize for you come to The Hague and pick it up.

There's more knight butt in this show than I expected.

Not every story has to be framed by a character's trauma, Alex Kurtzman.

The trolley problem isn't that people are tied to the tracks. They're not. They see the trolley coming and they're setting up lawn chairs and pouring drinks. They ignore the danger or rationalize it in favor of comfort or entertainment or power right up until the moment of impact.

The 9 Food Groups: person, woman, man, camera, TV, broccoli, piece of chicken, tortilla, impeachment

Writers: If oNly I haD an IDeA Paul McCartney: Imma gonna write an iconic proto-metal song about going down a slide.

Make me president and I will give everyone a 6-month pause button that when you press it nobody can bother you for 6 months--no one can send you a bill, collect rent, ask you to fill out a survey, change the portion size of your favorite frozen meal, send you spam, expect you to attend a function...

The Nobel Piece Prize. A piece for you. A piece for me. A piece for some other guy....

I demand justice for Polyphemus! Between Percy Jackson and the Odyssey movie, Polyphemus is once again being flattened into a stereotypical monster! Read about modern day Polyphemus and his struggles to be whole again in "The Everlasting Wound of Polyphemus" available in my 2025 Story Yearbook.

I did it. I found the most 90s kids movie ever.

Allegedly proof of delivery from UPS. I've seen Sasquatch photos that were more clear.

Didn't know Warf was a writer.

T hates being upstaged. It really says something that they put Vance out in front. During the pandemic, T-bag couldn't stay away from the TV. We had an hour-plus news conference every day. Reporters should be asking every day where T is and if he's too enfeebled to handle questions.

Criteria: "Only be given to a show, that among other criteria, aired a minimum of 60 episodes across five seasons" Gortimer (2 seasons) loses out again. This is like when the Academy ignored us but nominated Dog With a Blog for best kid TV show--truly a high watermark of children's TV.

Just killed a fly I've been hunting all day and I feel like a god now.

Post a famous bathroom scene

You know what? Between Stranger Things and Wicked/For Good, I'm already tired of women with power being forced to choose exile. These are comforting bedtime stories for the existing power structure.

I hereby convene this FIFA Peace Prize Court of Impeachment.

It's a good thing prices went down or all these crimes in office would just be intolerable.