I'm going to miss JLP's arms after this series #AustralianSurvivor

Seems like a trap

We gained a jukebox at work so obvs I queued up all the classics

When you have #Taskmaster at 9pm but need to try to capture Pikachu at 10pm

Doing 11 hour shifts while it's a stunning 30°c outside is not the one

Citrussy.

Time to stock up!

This post just makes me really happy www.reddit.com/r/Expectatio...

Umm what?? #DoctorWho

Love maps smstone0.github.io#/uk-map

Literally all of them. Next question?

I'm sorry GoSkippy but how can you just be like ok we're going to charge you an extra £300+ for the same thing. Anyway, AutoSergei has got me cheaper and better car insurance.

Trimmed my chest and belly hair. I am now twink

I have just watched A Nice Indian Boy and I have never watched a film before where every single character is absolutely and unapologetically unhinged

Twatted my face on a counter earlier and cut my nose. Only found out that I'd cut my nose an hour later when a stranger asked me if I was into bare knuckle fighting 😩

Only Connect is being a bit cheeky

Monty always has to snuggle while I'm having my breakfast 🥰

Ok so don't sit on the roof garden and tether to your phone while on a Teams call

Happy 39 days until the Switch 2 day

This moment when the penny drops that trying to implement bathroom bans is an impossibility for the former Tory Chief Secretary Simon Clarke is delicious.

New Pokémon Squishmallow has landed 😍

youtu.be/3uGXvdbL1ys Paul Rudd returning to advertise the Switch 2 is amazing

Name a show you’re positive no one remembers, but you

Can Israel have a day off pls? To my knowledge, the only country to have *actually* plagiarised a song in Eurovision is... Israel.

Bedtime reading. Gonna learn some stuff.

This is a questionable brand name for baby dummies

Umm, an ADVERT on Spotify Premium??

Fuck off pollen

Not dead, just very comfy

I... don't have high hopes for this

Happy Friday from a snuggly Monty

The joys of my Nest Doorbell. Engineers have come to install my brsk broadband and I got to listen to them talking about ways they could have cancelled the installation 😂

I love watching videos from the BBC Archive as it's fascinating to see how things were in times gone by. Today I learnt that apparently jogging was invented in 1971 youtu.be/txBS99s0nhE

North Face coats are *very* popular in Amsterdam

Contestants for Australian Survivor Vs the World have been revealed and I have a favourite

WHY ARE THEY CARRYING GIANT COCKS #TheTraitors

Alexander suffers from Ray Quinn face, where you just want to punch him in the face but you're not exactly sure why #TheTraitors

I can’t get over how cartoonishly evil this is putting in your fucking “hate speech” policy that a particular kind of hate speech against a particular group of people is explicitly allowed - and therefore encouraged - is the kind of shit that should be done from a volcano lair with a shark moat

The Switch 2 needs to hurry up and be released 🥺

Joel has some very interesting suit choices #MaskedSingerUK

Getting a message from someone called "sub4old" on a gentlemen's app is very upsetting

Love working on Boxing Day

It is finally officially over! #studentloan

I accidentally kicked Monty in the face and now he hates me and has ran off 🥺

Yay, no need to carry on now as Mew is the best Pokémon

Father Christmas complimented my beard 🥰

Good morning from my bed

Being back at work on a Saturday after a week off is not the one

Just ordered a chai latte from Caffe Nero and got asked if I wanted coffee added to it. Is this a thing now? Do people mix coffee with tea?? I was really taken aback by it and was just like "...no?"