me in the corner at a party three hits off the penjamin

ɹɐɔ ʎɯ pǝddᴉlɟ ᴉ ʞɔnɟ ɥo

Call me woke but my Dr Pepper is a woman

9 out of 10 doctors recommend kissing me square on the lips, bugs bunny style

Mennoknight

Do you think an Amish person has touched the Burj Khalifa

church would be way cooler if communion was a buffalo wing and ranch instead of those stupid wafers

bringing a bunch of the buzzballz that look like chug jugs to my nephew breighdens 10th birthday party. he’s gonna frikkin love it.

gonna superglue a glp1 and ssri pill together and get 6 billion dollars in venture capital

wearing windbreakers & breaking some wind

change the bluesky logo to a sheep so we can call posts “bleats”

ready to play some DKRDDDDDRDX (Diddy Kong Racing Dream Drop Distance Dance Dance Revolution Director’s Cut)

"Professor White Boy " has perished. They found him self harmed at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Thanks for the fucking smiles, Professor

dr pepper e cacio

so many feral hogs and so few cranks

doing Ash Wednesday with body glitter bc I’m woke like that

youtube is down, check on your crystal girlies. they won’t be able to go to sleep to some horrific true crime podcast

final fantasy football. the game writes itself

I know we are mad at Canada for the curling thing or whatever but we should actually be mad at them for the bags of milk. wtf even is that fr.

quest 64 daughter or glover son?

Tusk 2014

swamp where you play icebreaker party games: neverhaveieverglades

Fun dip? Yeah I’m trying to have a fun dip in the pool with my homies, go elsewhere thot

Manicotti fleshlight

Install one of the Olive Garden iPads on my tombstone so my grandkids will visit me

defaulted on my loan at the sperm bank and now they are gonna repossess my balls

call me greedy but I think I’m about to catch more than 40 winks

Piñata shaped like a Trojan horse

Benihana is my favorite Pokemon

kermit in the streets, gonzo in the sheets

only cowards keep things in drafts. i let my foolishness rip like a dipshit beyblade

I don’t have a dog in this race? Yeah no shit this is nascar dumbass

goon caves are the logical progression of a society that lacks third spaces

it’s so insane that the people who believe in the literal tower of babel melt down when they hear a song in a different language

This screen grab is what Rayman would look like eating ass

The Olympics are on ice this year? Sheesh read the room

could really go for some deep fried chocobo

the winter olympics needs to incorporate my favorite sport, fighting off seasonal affective disorder.

let he who is without rizz cast the first goon.

2026 is the year gangster looney tunes t-shirts come back

don’t talk to me or my jorts ever again

fiber optic catheter so you can piss really fast

oh lord, uncle jed is getting horny on main on truth social

katy perry during the 2015 super bowl- “my left shark just went viral”

milk prayed over by a priest call that pastorized

guy in dunder mifflin tshirt and cargo shorts is an endangered species

a lot of discord mods about to pay the e-kitten tax

in the next kingdom hearts game sora is gonna cut off brer rabbit’s head with the keyblade

can’t believe they call it a chopped cheese it tastes really good

me grinding mob drops for 18 hours so my avatar can have slightly greener pants