I’ve adopted you. I am your dad now.

Panini: Freeze dried chicken is the delicacy of my species, but I will absolutely refuse in putrid disgust if you offer me the same chicken raw or made in any other way.

That's enough Death of the Author. It's time for Death of the Audience. Start running fools

Staying at a job that clearly undervalues you and makes 8 hours of your day miserable for the health insurance like a true American

The creature

Just give me one day where I’m allowed to fling someone out of the restaurant like the Zoombini pizza guy whenever someone orders something weird and fucked up

new article: PAY THE RANSOM OR THE FRANCHISE DIES a brief look at the depressing state of how a company will sell you something you don't want so that you might at some point in the future get the chance to buy something you do want systemdrift.neocities.org/blog/pay-the...

Painstakingly watering down all my Pokopia land for an hour just for Pupitar to go, "I kinda liked it dry :///", you bastard

I know for a fact that I could beat them at Mario Party

ball

I walk into work and immediately get one of those headaches that’s like directly behind eyes and question God what I did to be punished in such barbaric ways

You guys made fun of trash and ice cream Pokemon when 90% of Digimon designs exist

Okay finally beat co-op BG3 and to be honest, I like the game less now but still enjoy one-shot punching people to death and it was also just very funny watching your murder hobo friend come to the realization that yeah.. you murdered… everyone, you clown

It could always be worse. You could be playing Apex Legends. 😔

KH4 at a random Nintendo Direct is an elaborate troll, that’s hilarious.

Nintendo Direct? Why don’t you Direct, code, build, texture, and release a new Pikmin game. Thanks.

I don’t post about him because he’s technically not mine, but sometimes I’ll just walk out and see this lump on a log

Fruit awesome. Banana gross.

i lov Spyro thank you Bob

They don’t tell you that 90% of owning a ferret is some psychological back and forth of you preventing them from killing themselves and then finding a newer, more dangerous way of one upping you

Being birth control free is genuinely one of the most beneficial life-altering decisions I've ever made. We need more drugs that make men suffer instead.

It is truly horrifying that you could die and still end up in a 2027 video game

real video games

We just be making anything nowadays

do not mess with gamers we fart and shit our pants

Happy Geoff Keighley Freakfest. Can’t wait for the next 10 minute Fortnite ad!!!

it really does suck when something you don't think is very good gets a bunch of haters who are just batshit insane

Will to live restored

Moving my sister’s birthday to October so she avoids GTA 6

Wish I could be this cute and needy

wait i actually hate video games right now because i am on a never ending death streak of tainted jacob gameplay in binding of isaac, holy fuck do i hate this character

Well, that's all my interest in the new Tomb Raider gone

Okay cool dinosaur game good fun, had a nice nap for the rest of it until dawn 2 being made by another new studio Sony is going to lay off anyways is crazy work i don’t know the dead wife lore forgive me

the Cube assist is kinda reminding me of what it’s like to play Apex with my friend who is leagues better than me and i am doing my best

Brand new video game!!!!: god of war

Until Dawn 2 what the fuck lmao

Can I get a $10,000 PlayStation 6

Thought the state of play was happening during work but I am delighted to find out that I will get to eat my state of play slop at dinner time instead

I think actually we should uhhhhhh we should uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think we should uuhhhhhhhh

June gaming

I don’t think we shit on Sam Levinson enough, honestly

My super power of choice would be some sort of compelling mind control and I would exclusively use it to make people leave my vicinity such as everyone else in my movie theatre

Sometimes I forget Kirby can't fly with something in his mouth and then he falls into a pit and dies horribly. A metaphor for greed.

Awesome! I’ve heard nothing but good things.

Sometimes you just be coming home to cryptids in your house

Last year, miHoYo copied my puzzle game Ouros in Zenless Zone Zero. Because they are a recognized, billion-dollar studio and my game isn't well known, some people are now assuming that their version is the original, and mine is the clone. I hope this video clears that up.

Personally wouldn’t mind weapon degradation in BOTW if Link could throw down unarmed and tear Bokoblin heads off like Frank West, just saying.

Kirby may just be my guy. May be all of his games are good.