Update on our favorite beaver kit triplets

The gay cardinals joke every Christmas is funny but also it’s not weird at all to see male cardinals palling around during the winter. They’re just bros and maybe they kiss sometimes but strictly as homies

kitty cats in STEM: sleeping, treats, eating mouses

Silly cats you act like you’ve never been fed before Later Is it noon yet I’m literally starving

The Cambridge Dictionary word of the year is smolbeanification let’s all hear it for smolbeanification

Sorry for the misunderstanding I was not giving you the cold shoulder that’s the warm shoulder. I want to be little spoon

It can be a euphemism though

You probably saw videos of a nighttime raid in Chicago. Agents rappelling from a helicopter, bursting down doors, questioning brown-skinned immigrants. We investigated -- and found little evidence to support the government’s claims about Tren de Aragua. www.propublica.org/article/chic...

Look I get publishing a broad spectrum of opinions but I already fed them this morning

The gay cardinals joke every Christmas is funny but also it’s not weird at all to see male cardinals palling around during the winter. They’re just bros and maybe they kiss sometimes but strictly as homies

Was putting my face on and missed a call from my dad. Saw this text and called him back. (This is a nice story. Also his name is not Bob. That’s what the grandkids call him. Long and unrelated story.)

Guys will be like how am I supposed to know what my wife wants if she doesn’t tell me and then berate a coworker for not anticipating the client’s needs

At 3 am Gordon Gano remembers what 8 was for. He speaks it aloud into the still darkness. The apocalypse begins

I won’t be interested until they add cities knights and seafarers

“Why do you love birds so much?” Good question I think it all started when at a formative time in my adolescence I saw a movie in which Michelle Pfeiffer was a red-tailed hawk “Then why cats?” Ok you’re not going to believe this

Just want to recapture the awe of seeing the Prince of Persia sprite running for the first time

I keep seeing that guys overwhelmingly only post themselves with sunglasses on dating apps and that simply could not be me have you seen these peepers

An account of riverine and riparian thirst traps called Only Alluvial Fans

as someone who was a teenage girl on the internet, i think making AI-generated revenge porn of a minor should get you the electric chair actually

Adventure stories usually start with an unsustainable situation waiting for an inciting event. For example Walter white had to eat turkey bacon

The monster mash isn’t actually the song. Boring joke. “Everybody” start doing the locomotion before the song came out you ding dongs. The cops in the donut shops didn’t walk like Egyptians spontaneously. Be absolutely serious

Next time you get scared of Portland imagine Ramona Geraldine Quimby laughing at you while she walks down Klickitat street to the library, roller skates and bananas in her backpack

Big dam energy

Scandal: the boxcar children only lived in a boxcar for one book and the next 160 books were about rich kids solving mysteries

I read poems I’ve written on Patreon. That’s funny, right? They’re free www.patreon.com/posts/136323...

I asked ChatGPT to call the cutie store and no one knew you lol. But then I went to the cutie store myself and everyone knew you. What ChatGPT actually did was call the same Qdoba location 15 times and make outrageous threats against the employees that fell just short of actionability

In the 90s we were told in school that we needed to save water and energy and at the time I thought it was to save the planet on which we depend but only now do I realize we were saving it all to be wasted on the worst technology in history. I wish I’d done the slip and slide more

Source: Nestling Begging Calls Resemble Maternal Vocal Signatures When Mothers Call Slowly to Embryos

“You made this bed now you have to lie in it.” Lie in bed hell yeah don’t mind if I do

Am I a muscle because i feel targeted rn

I think people would be more likely to stay in a job they loved and were good at if they had breathing room but hell I only minored in economics

We need to start calling them “conspiracy hypotheses” when they’re garbage, because theories in real science are backed by evidence and this one has evidence as hell

Another account to block as this is a creature that, contrary to the caption, does not appear in nature

I don’t know what the Black Forest is, but it sounds scary and I tip my hat to the brave women and men in there gathering all that ham and gummy bears

Movie pitch: a ragtag group of 90s kids, now grown, embark on an adventure to find a treasure chest rumored to contain an unreleased season of Garbage Pail Kids and like 8 new verses to the "Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha" song.

Eric I’ve been waiting a long time to ask this “Oh?” What is a fire and how does it burn? “Witchcraft.” What? “Ariel it’s the 1700’s. It’s always witchcraft.”

charlie brown said he feels ‘cheated’ after lucy promised him she would hold the football in place so he could kick it, only to find himself flipped onto his back in disgrace

This video is safe for work

I keep seeing a bb27 hashtag so I finally clicked on it to see what that means and I actually know even less now

I found one of these at a yard sale and the only thing stopping me from starting a podcast is that literally nobody wants me to start a podcast

Bringing up newsom as a candidate this early is like how in a murder mystery show you know the first person they suspect can’t be it because they have 9 more episodes

Pretty annoying that by the time I was old enough to go past the beaded curtain at the video store those were all gone