been out for the better part of a decade and i finally got a “happy pride” from my dad this year lmao. literally love that man sm, he could never do any wrong. 💗

this is one of my favorite pictures i’ve ever taken of myself, so y’all have to just deal with my ass on your feed soz

why can nobody just type their question out? why does it always need to be a call? 🫩

big ups to the person in front of me who ordered a large strawberry milkshake at 8am.

“there’s a streamer named dan gheesling…do you remember him from BB10?” sir, you clearly don’t know who you’re talking to 😭

singing “escondido” to the tune of “despacito” until i leave california

patiently waiting until i can exit the family vacation group chat

getting targeted ads for a ninja slushi is not good for me 🫠

got a badge from yahoo for checking my email and i hate it???

contrary to popular belief, the worst part of game of thrones is all the animal death.

my boss is off tomorrow which means i can clean my house instead of working 🙌🏻

living my life out loud because my mother will talk shit about me no matter what i do 🤘🏻

a small child mean mugged me for rooting for my team tonight, and that’s why the cardinals lost. i hope she’s happy!

casually slipping “partners” into a Facebook post and interacting with my meta, hoping my parents take the hint 💀🤞🏻

that's me in the corner that's me in the spot light hunting ronald reagan

PSA: i’m just a FAB wag. please don’t follow me of you want FAB content, you’ll be so disappointed and unintentionally rage baited 😂

nial horne has me unwell 💀

#Survivor50 intro giving me actual chills?????

will i spend $700 on a switch 2 this weekend so i can play pokopia? well, it’s still early so who’s to say.

being passive aggressive via email at 8:30 am, arguing with a man i know i’m more intelligent than.

Happy 30th Pokemon day 🥳 #art #pokemon

the traitors cast had a premier watch party at the abbey in weho? where ally caught sandoval and raquel dancing????

god survivor used to be so fucking good. what happened lmao.

bought a bundle of 30 family-oriented switch games for my partner’s daughters to have something to play while i’m there 💕

barrelling towards an ANTM rewatch at frightening speeds

accepting valentines 🖤

🥰 sooo much candy and red sox tickets from my hubband 🥰

missed his call and called right back, but i am losing it over the message he was able to leave before that happened lmao

my life’s purpose was to get my whole family hooked on the traitors 🥰

higher than i thought because what do you mean i turned on the TUB, got into the shower, and stood here for 30 full seconds before realize the shower head wasn’t spraying?

asking my 24 year old coworker if she knows what a/s/l means 😂

the amount of beta blockers i’m going to need to get through this weekend lmao

my little brother is popping OFF on his story, i’m so fucking proud of him

i have never preordered anything so fast in my entire LIFE

WAKE UP NEW HARRY STYLES ALBUM ANNOUNCED

the toxic mom group is my roman empire

stephen’s lower third being “one tree hill” and not “laguna beach” is a crying damn shame

lisa rena in head to toe leopard print is the vibe i bring to the function

traitors day bbyyyyyyy

lemon pig . . .

i also replaced a light fixture today, hire me for all your sexual home improvement needs

little miss salted butter

guess which lucky girl got a uti for christmas 🥰

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention for the first time in 11 years.

should i drop on my family that i’m polyamorous the week before christmas? do you think they’d even be surprised at this point?

went through my man’s facebook and he was basically matty healy 15 years ago 🫠

what did i ever do to deserve being put into my stepmom’s family group chat?

STOP. this is a selfie checkpoint. You must repost with a cute selfie to proceed...

do NOT call me to rely to an email. just reply to the fucking email. i am begging.

just a bunch of lil babies 🥰