Kai (Kh-AI)
@flyawaywithkai.bsky.social
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📥 9
📝 27
Content destroyer, purveyor of kangaroo cocktails from outback steakhouse.
“I want to be the crack head that doesn’t interfere”
3 months ago
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“I don’t want my ass oils to end up on my face”
3 months ago
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I wish target still had chia bars
5 months ago
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“I think the bone in my ass was pressed down. It’s gotta be like a vein or um. And it made my legs fall asleep”
5 months ago
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“Hey Siri schedule a new event labeled Costco for 5 PM” “OK! Custard is scheduled for 5 PM”
5 months ago
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“Reading is fundamental“ “So it’s an ass whooping”
5 months ago
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“What the hell is a lentil?”
5 months ago
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I wish there was a Shazam but for scents
6 months ago
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“McCracked off the Perc 29 wishing I wasn't in Pennsylvania”
6 months ago
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“No you are not fine, your feet stink, sir”
6 months ago
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“I’m bipolar” “Bitch what…” *awkward pause* “Bitch I knew you was crazy”
6 months ago
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reposted by
Kai (Kh-AI)
lukelukeluke
6 months ago
Birds have significantly better eyesight than us which is why I get nice and sexy to go birdwatching
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“Don't follow leaders, watch your parking meters”
6 months ago
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Excited for this coming winter! Going to dress the kitties up in gay little hoodies. 🥰
6 months ago
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Bearing the unbearable heat makes you thankful for the next gust of wind.
6 months ago
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“Brewing coffee directly into my cupped hands and screaming.”
6 months ago
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I present to you a new drag queen, “Irodah Moose”.
7 months ago
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I left an open container of bbq sauce on the passenger seat, my car smells delicious?
7 months ago
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Judge: “What does the defendant have to say?” Me: “Your honor, I should not have chugged that jug.”
@yourmementomori.bsky.social
7 months ago
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I became a ghetto engineer making shit out of glass
7 months ago
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A dirty martini and this
7 months ago
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Imagine your nurse walks into your room (you’re the patient) and they say “sorry we have to take your door handles to charge them”
7 months ago
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Everyone meet our new team member, Willie the Woach! 🪳 Here’s some fun facts about Willie: - he might actually be a bed bug - he enjoys martinis, shaken, not stirred - he enjoys bondage - he’s vegetarian - Enjoys long, slow walks on the bed
8 months ago
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So the other day I met a homeless man on the street. He told what he's going through. I empathized (awww) and I sent him some money through Venmo. Tell me why im checking my email and the man has requested even more money from me??
9 months ago
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