@simonread.bsky.social Just been sacked from my job as a lingerie designer for Gross Négligées. #jobsearch #agj

Not sure whether to pity or envy the sort of bloke who imagines all their life's problems will be solved once a football manager loses his job. #mensmentalhealth #nufc #eplsoccer

RIP Moya Brennan. #clannad #intermission youtu.be/0RRQnV0rlo8?...

People often ask me about my time providing storytelling workshops for the local education authority, but I'm not one to tell tales out of school. #agj

Must be frustrating for Pau Cubarsi. If he'd made that challenge at St James Park it wouldn't even have been a yellow card. Never forget. #nufc #uefaisbent

🎶 "When you've got nausea, heartburn, indigestion. Upset stomach ..." 🎶 Enjoy your new earworm. 👍

Autumn tickets bought for voguish beat outfits Madra Salach and Westside Cowboy. 😎 #sixmusicdad #newcastlegigs

Breaking News: A famous person did or said something *VERY* out of character for them. HAHA NOT REALLY! APRIL FOOL! I AM A REAL FUNNY BUGGER! #firstofApril #sdf

Ben Shite, more like! #enguru #soccer

The hold music of the local vet's is Florence and the Machine's "Dog Days Are Over". A ballsy choice.

That Peaky Blinders film was pretty good. Reckon it could have done with squeezing in a couple more portentous Grian Chatten numbers. 👍 #peaky #blinders

A strange week to be picking four #nufc defenders in an England squad. #sevenup

USA lost the final of the World Baseball Classic. What they gonna lose next, the School Shootings World Cup? The World Series of being a big fat racist war-mongering cunt? #venezuela

A lot of fuss about petrol prices at the moment. Doesn't really affect me, I just put in £30's worth every time. #petrol #politics #anoldfriendreturns

Hansi Flick being very sound in his post-match press conference. Fair play to him. #nufc #ucl

Domestic abuse and racism's Joey Barton has been arrested in connection with a serious assault on an adult male. Not a junior footballer or his wife. Progress of sorts. #believeachieve

Happy International Women's Boxing Day!

'ark at Federline in the hat! 😀😀 #totp

Wordle needs to have word with itself today. #noneed

Hurzeler's complaints about the #Arsenal style of play would be more valid if his #Brighton team weren't a massive set of whining, time wasting, injury-feigning fannies. #epl #soccerinsights

Scum lovers, who'd have 'em? Thug Frank Spencer broke into ex's home and attacked her over 'new relationship' www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-e...

American diplomacy: distracting from the sexual abuse of children by bombing and killing other children. #epstein #Iran #usa

Since Meta Glasses are being mentioned: youtu.be/EVcyNANK5cY?...

Is this ... sexy slang? @apiln.bsky.social

As a post #totp palate cleanser, here's Noseybonk and Mr Blobby, dressed as Strawberry Switchblade, playing prog rock. youtu.be/t7OIc-DBRXM?...

Go and get stuffed! #80shumour #totp

This one takes a dark turn. #totp #kennyrogers

"Don't let these glasses fool you, I'm actually a twat' Alas Smith and Jones. #totp #buggles

Is that TV's Carol Smillie singing with the Ruff Dryverz? #totp

#epstein #randrewandrew #guillotine

Good morning. #nufc #sixone #ucl

Danz Beckenburn! #nufc #derkaiser

"Sunscreen" by Baz Luhrman. Always been prating, shallow pish. Always wil be. #shite

Friday night football is so much more fun than Monday night football. #epl

*Ronan Keating club singing klaxon* #totp

After 40 days of January, amid a rainy season that refuses to quit, here comes the fucking Six Nations. Mother, the revolver! #sixnations #driveon

Very sad to hear that the former star of TV's "Big Break' Jim Davidson is still alive and well. 😞

Peter Scandalson more like, eh? Eh? #satire #therestofthepolitics

Those clip-on mics ushered in a prime era of lasses on nights out tucking a crooked straw behind their ear and pretending to be Britney Spears. #totp

Whitney Houston feat. Roy Walker "It's good but it's not right but it's okay" #totp

6 Music dads: Perving on The Cardigans on #totp Real heads vibing to the definitive version: youtu.be/9rHPpIwdXGo?... 😍

Lewis Hall's corkscrew spinning pass over the top to Elanga late on. 😍 #nufc

Last night, walked past a rough pub in the crap town where I live. A young feller, to his fat charver mate who wanted to talk to a lass. "We're gannin to toon man, we'll be getting premium pussy". Live your dreams, champ. #premiumpussy

You've got the wrong Ian Watkins... www.nme.com/news/music/n... #kunt

Reform making serious moves in the January cunt transfer window. #transferwindow #cunts #politics

"Jenrick, you pilchard!" #satire #therestispolitics #privateeye

England cricketers in a hurry to get on the drink again, is it? #ashes

Frankie with an all-star festive cultural meditation on Ireland. #Ireland youtu.be/5XM8x7ewxS0?...

Miley was named MOTM but that Chelsea lad with the whistle should have got it. #nufc

Cliff Richard #totp